Stupid Question

But necessary.

Is it possible for someone who dislikes attention to have HPD?

To put it bluntly, i'm asking cause someone seemed to think i was more HPD than BPD cause i don't have that thing going on bouncing between idealisation and devaluation.

I don't have "fan clubs" don't use sexuality to get attention (but have used attention to get sex.) Most of the time if people's attention happens to be on me I don't even notice if I'm just having a laugh, but if the attention is obviously on me, I actually prefer it not to be. i dont mind if its on something i've done or am involved but would rather it wasn't on me.

This is one of the reasons i hate dressing up extremely "girly", because people start treating me the way they treat people who are ultrafeminine dressed up for attention - that sort of attention actually makes me uncomfortable, it just isn't me.

But in case its possible that someone could be an HPD who dislikes attention, since someone suggested it, tho i don't really see it, I'm asking out of curiosity, and to give the opinion a chance.

Thanks.

It would depend on which aspects of the rest of the criteria you feel that you fit, bearing in mind that only a professional can officially diagnose you. Also, a person does not necessarily have to be an outright extrovert to be attention seeking. It can happen in a one to one situation too, or be expressed by the way a person dresses, or by manipulation of others, or passive aggression. It can occur if a person feels unduly upset if they perceive others to be ignoring them. It can happen if a person exaggerates an illness, and by what a person does not say, rather than what they do say. I am not saying that you display any of these behaviours, just that these are some of the ways that a person can be attention seeking. We all require attention, it is a human instinct. If a baby did not cry to attract its mothers attention, it may not survive. If a person did not scream in pain, then a serious injury might go unnoticed. If we did not ask others what we want, and sometimes angrily, then some of our needs might not be met. All of this is normal. Because of a lack of the right attention as child, the histironic has learnt maladaptive ways to ask for attention. Some of them may have learnt to be passive because they have been ignored so often, and shy away from the public eye, but they may express their need for attention in subtler, more covert ways, that can be manipulative, because they have learnt to be non confrontational. Only a therapist can diagnose you. Why did this person think that you may be histrionic?

Some of it i think cause i don't "split" randomly and hate my partners, i think. other things idk, maybe something, or maybe misinterpretations. I can be pretty outgoing, but its not about attention, its just... me being outgoing, not too concerned whether people are paying attention.

Also maybe cause of how my dad tried to make me act, but if i ever went along with that it was more to avoid attention. i did attention seek in a way when i was a teenager, but it was a cry for help cause i was depressed, but the only feeling i could identify was depression. i had no idea what else to communicate or how. so i told them i was depressed, they told me to piss off (didn't meet dsm criteria for clinical depression, e.g. early waking.) so i made up a lot of stuff. then it became a game parts of me thought was funny.

to be totally honest, i try to think about it and i can't. everything in my life before a the last few weeks makes no sense when i try to evaluate myself as a whole, cause i didn't exist as a whole. i think trying to do that is useless. more just responding to a suggestion than anything else.

i dont think there is anything in it, certainly not right now as i am. trying to figure out if just one of my alters used to have it seems daft and a waste of time, so i'm not going to go into it!

Thanks for the reply