Please raise your hand if you fabricated your story here. :)

Hello ALL...

I need some help if you will. You don't have to tell me WHAT you fabricated or how much you did, but I am wondering how MANY of you fabricated your story/stories here on this HPD forum???

I have been honest about everything EXCEPT my real name, where I'm from type details. And that of course is obvious of why that I, like you all, need to keep that confidential.

BUT... I am seriously thinking about telling my sister that I believe she should research HPD, and possibly ASPD for herself as she fits the criteria for almost all of the ASPD and then more HPD on somethings.

I would like her to "stumble upon" this forum while researching about herself, but then I know if she reads MY STORY that she is going to REALLY know it is me. And how I would love to share that with her to HELP HER, I can't let her know that I have the traits or ever considered myself HPD at all for the number one reason.

SHE WOULD USE IT AS AMMUNITION against me. She would live in DENIAL that she has ANYTHING WRONG WITH HER and TELL EVERYONE that I have a MENTAL ILLNESS. I know her and I know she would do this. And this is really none of anyone else's business that we have or do not have something wrong. I would never tell anyone that knew my sister, oh hey... she's HPD, etc, but SHE WOULD. She would spread it all over her facebook and whatever.

I know they(mods and admins) do not want us to delete our threads, nor would I want to because I know it has helped a few to read my story, BUT I AM thinking of editing quite a bit of it, though it would take me a while.

What are your suggestions if you don't mind or have the time to respond.
Thanks for everything,
Scarlett

Scarlett wrote: I know they(mods and admins) do not want us to delete our threads, nor would I want to because I know it has helped a few to read my story, BUT I AM thinking of editing quite a bit of it, though it would take me a while.

Hi Scarlett,

I see no issue with you editing personal information that might give your identity away. People do it all the time, to keep thier privacy and indentity from being known.

The thing is, do you really think your sister is ready for this forum? Are you ready to give up this part of your own support ?

Ah, the great dilemma. Luckily my HPD has made things easy for me by refusing to read this site. You could just copy text from threads you want her to read into a word document and give it to her that way.

Good morning OK.

No, I am not ready to give up this support completely because I still learn from it and recognize things that I hadn't thought of even still. It's getting less and less of NEW things, but however I still feel I am getting something from this board regardless of how much I NEED it now.

BUT I KNOW, if I tell my sister about the term HPD that THIS BOARD will come up as one of the top searches on HPD because that is how I found it myself when googling about my father's SPD diagnosis. AND THEN read about other PDs and recognized FINALLY a name for my past behaviors that almost ended my marriage AND how I was before marriage.

I just don't know how to tell her she is broken without pointing her in the right direction to help. I read a book recently about a man who apparently was ASPD and my sister fits almost every criteria for that. I knew she was not fully HPD because she has never had men just falling all over her. SHE THINKS they are, but really she just dresses provacatively and other than ones she meets on the internet, they just use her for sex and then they are done. Even in high school she did not have boys calling her or whatever. The guys she messed with always had girlfriends out in the open, and she was the one they would secretly take somewhere to have sex, and expect her to keep it quiet. So it didn't make sense that she was fully HPD because guys/men do not flock to her as most HPDs on here have said that happens to them. Now that there is Internet, she can "sell herself" pretty good ONLINE, but without the virtual sales add, she does not have men dying to talk to her or take her out or marry her. She never has. The internet has changed her game, but shortly after the online men get around her, they want out. OR she gets them hooked on her little 3 yr old boy and they feel obligated to him.

I know for a fact if she comes here to this board I will HAVE to edit my story.

Thanks Capt.

I know you say she refuses to read this site, but what if she is just READING and not joining the site. Would she recognize YOU from just what you write if she were just lurking and reading and not joining or posting???

That is what I'm wondering the most.

I know for a fact if she comes here to this board I will HAVE to edit my story.

Well, I would edit your story that gives your identity away, before you tell her about HPD. What makes you so sure if you tell her about HPD, she will research? Is she ready to change and searching for answers to her behavior now?

Also, you realize that just having a bunch of guys chasing you, is not the only symptom/criteria for HPD. Also, with all the overlaps,maybe just consider her as being cluster "B". Maybe, just pointing her to HPD will help either way to get her started at least, within a cluster B group sort of speak. Than "hopefully" in time she will go to therapy for a proper diagnostic and help?

Hope that makes sense.....

That does make sense OK. That might be a better route to go. She is definately cluster B for sure. And is a mixture because she does have the narc traits and always has. Her biggest trait of ANYTHING is lack of empathy.

She has NO empathy. She barely even knows the definition of it because she can't grasp what someone else could possibly feel. She is absolutely selfish.

If someone's mother was dying in a hospital and they were suppposed to go with her on a trip, so they canceled the trip due to their mother, SHE WOULD HATE them for not going with her on the trip! That is the level of selfishness she has portrayed her whole life. OH she can cry at the drop of a hat and you THINK she is sincere when you confide something to her that is upsetting to you, but she really does NOT care as she is using those tears to keep you around her and listening to her.

That sounds better to suggest more of the cluster b side and see what she does with it. I know her, if I suggest something is wrong with her, and give her a name of what I say is wrong, she will at least google and research it. She might not ever ADMIT she did, but she will try to make sure that she is NOT what I say she is, and use whatever against me.

She recently called ME a psychopath because I was pointing out her ill behavior and what she does to hurt others and was going against what she is saying. She has no idea the true definition of a psychopath she just wants to hurt anyone and get revenge on anyone that HURTS her. And by HURT... she means goes against what she wants or says.

there very well could be some 'overlap' in her personality traits. I agree with ok in that 'men falling all over them' isn't necessarily a hallmark of HPD. it seems while many HPD's will report this is the case, in reality it's not always the case. my HPD friend often tried to portray herself as the most wanted woman around, but in reality, she was not any more 'desired' than any other normal woman out there (for long term prospects-wise.). she, like your sister, had many offers for one night stands/friends with benefits relationships but not many guys were after her for any 'long term' kind of thing. for those that were after the long term, they changed their minds pretty quickly after her acting out behviors started up.

I think my friend definitely had some narc or antisocial traits as well, because the way she treats people shows a complete lack of empathy as well as some pretty cold-hearted schemes. the way she operated was pretty calculated and cold behind the scenes, though she put up a warm-hearted false front to cover her butt.

on editing my story - nope. I've told the harsh truth. I don't really care if my friend ever ends up reading it (as she will know it's me if she does read it because of the events I describe.) If she tries to make me out to be a 'psycho' because of it, I don't care because I know I'm not a psycho. anyway, if caught, we could always blameshift and claim it wasn't us, like the HPD's do. LOL. just kiddin.

I know some of my attitudes have been conflicting as I went through the process of detaching from her, but I think that's true for many of the posters here. we all have our own emotions to work through at different points.

Thank you Treetop...

I had to chuckle at the blameshifting thing. That would be typical HPD for us to do that here in this forum.

BUT... you are NOT the HPD and I am or at least I'm on that side of the fence in my story as I progressed over the years before even finding this board. And the information about MYSELF is what I will have to edit. The only ones besides you all that know about my internet affair are me, my husband, my inlawas, and our former preacher/friend who helped us through that terrible night when it all came out. And NONE of them would ever tell another soul as they all helped me see what I was doing and my husband they gave support to plus helped him see that there was a chance we could work it out.

No one ever outside of that circle of people knew anything. And giving my sister information like that would be like handing over our nuclear bombs to other countries and HOPING they never use them on us.

My sister COULD benefit from my story, but NOT as knowing that Scarlett1939 is her sister. She's too devious, calculating, and manipulative to have that information.

Scarlett1939 wrote:Thanks Capt.

I know you say she refuses to read this site, but what if she is just READING and not joining the site. Would she recognize YOU from just what you write if she were just lurking and reading and not joining or posting???

That is what I'm wondering the most.

Well, I never told her about this site, I just said that I had some "sites" she could visit. But, she probably could, particularly from my original post.