Attn HPD female/male, Attraction to NPD/ASPD

you are really accurate

I am hpd

and you really do understand it well

Late to the party..........


Yes, one of the first things i did when i came to this site..........was start going after a Narc. girl.
I knew she was incapable of feeling what i wanted her to feel for me......but i wanted to make her feel for me. Because, I AM SPECIAL LOL


Also, yes......i am currently in a laughable ironic way, but still in a way........going after an AsPD girl. THough she may not have AsPD.....i think of her as a total psycho. (you know who you are)
It is the same attraction.......i know she is impossible to please and doesn't care about and will never care about anyone but herself.
I want to make her, love me.


That is the attraction.........the general mechanism, is that they are hard to please and elicit emotions from.....when you do, you feel like they must really like you or you are really special/charming whatever it is you like to think of yourself as.

It would be the same, if there were hot robots around...........i would want to make, a robot love me. Or an alien.........
And well, people that are NPD/AsPD are pretty much robots and aliens anyhow.......

Oooh, a schizoid or an AvPD they are pretty good too.........if you can coax one out of their little world.......


It's the same reason, we like married people.........I always thought, turning a lesbian str8 would be pretty cool.
Now a married alien robot lesbian with AsPD......there you go. Where do i sign up?

I think my friend respected the fact that they seemed to 'be their own person' and they seemed to not really need anyone - traits that she herself aspired to, but couldn't quite muster because of a deep need for attention from multiple sources. I think, when she was able to 'conquer' such individuals, even temporarily, it gave her a much-needed ego boost.

This.

This for sure.


I remember once......i was at a friends house, and his cousin was on the computer. He didn't come out to say hi to me.....he barely acted like i was there and was busy doing some work and didn't really notice me or the other person i was with.

I just was amazed............like how could he not, come and greet us? How could he not want to see what we thought/wanted?

It was baffling to me.........i didn't know how to articulate it, but yes....he was comfortable with himself and his world and didn't need anything from ours........
To most of you....this is normal. To me, it is like nearly not possible.

How could he not want to be the centre of attention? How could he not want to come and get our approval before he went and did his thing?
How????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


LOL


Yes i did respect him for that........and it made me, want him to like me even more. Until i realised he was kind of a goof and who gives a sh)t what he thought........but for that moment, i was just baffled that anybody.....could just not pay attention to other people at all.


Oh, i should also add........it's safe. Because you know it is gonna fail.

I choose people, i cannot really be attracted to..........because, it is safer to be attracted to them.
A despicable NPD or AsPD........that's attractive, because i know i would never really love them or build anything worth keeping with them...........so it's safer.
It will fail.......i don't have to wonder if they'll leave me......or if they care about me, they do not.

I don't have to worry so much about self-sabotage or impending doom......just picking them, is self-sabotage as they are impending doom.
It's almost a relief.........knowing things have to fail, on some level.

Yes i did respect him for that........and it made me, want him to like me even more. Until i realised he was kind of a goof and who gives a sh)t what he thought

LOL

Oh, i should also add........it's safe. Because you know it is gonna fail.

Very insightful Twisted.

CptSaveAho wrote:Damaged women are definitely drawn to ASPD's but I'm not so sure about HPD's. Very few women are not drawn to player-types(NPDs), hence their status as "players". If anything, HPD's are abnormally drawn to codependent nice-guy types. They will sleep with NPD's on the side though.

Seems like HPD is a very broad spectrum, ranging from disorganized to dependent to disingenuous...the more disorganized and dependent female HPD's need the dominating male NPD or AsPD (to whom in turn they give empathy), while the "codependent nice guys" (with similar dependency issues?) are drawn to the more narcissisitic and anti-social HPD's (to whom they give sexual excitement and attention?).

And, not counting male HPD's and their lesser understood signif other permutations and combinations.

Dug this up out of "The Antisocial Personalities" (1995, by David Lykken, p. 191):

"It is also thought that hysterics (probably meaning HPD's) are often the sex or marriage partners of psychopaths, due to the former's tendency to repress awareness of the dangers of such liasons, but this assortative mating hypothesis has not been systematically investigated."

Do HPD's eventually run off after a liason with a Non, since as the relationship deepens the Non will come to sense and understand their partner's disorder, perhaps will eventually want to openly discuss it, and an as yet un self-aware HPD is normally afraid of any internal focus, let alone a discussion about it...?
If true also might explain the motivatation of HPD's to "repress the dangers of such liasons" with an NPD or AsPD - any possible dangers are tolerated unconsciously, since as others have noted in this thread the dominating NPD/ASPD vicariously gives the HPD a sturdy mental 'rudder', diverting the HPD from focusing on their inner turmoil and chaos, which is relatively scarier, even scarier than the possibility of getting emotionally or physically abused by the NPD/AsPD partner.

Why is my initial emotional response: "fu__k you!"


LOL

Twistedmister wrote:Why is my initial emotional response: "fu__k you!"


LOL

TM
Sorry if I hit a nerve...I'm a Non (well, maybe ) with an investigative mind, fascinated by all of this stuff but I don't mean to come off indifferent or cold. Lykken's book was an old college textbook of mine...liked it not only for its explanatory power but also because beneath the science Lykken expresses compassion and social responsibility...someone I look up to as a mentor.

o

No no.......that is a thumbs up.

And besides, if you came off indifferent or cold.....i'd be telling you i loved you. LOL