Narcissist

Did I read somewhere that narcissists can handle a relationship with HPDs?

Sorry, I'm new to all these terms so I probably misunderstood something I read.

They can , (for awhile), because they "supply" each other.

The HPD tries to hook the N to adore and fall for her, but, because the N cannot love anyone, it never happens. So the HPD sees this challenge and supplies the N by giving him a stream of fake adoration/attention, which is what he craves as far as supply, so N in turn pays the HPD compliments and attention, makes her feel sexy, which she craves....to keep the supply coming back to the N. And so they feed off each other...

They compliment eachother, in a very disfunctional way. However, the N is much less emotion driven and very smart and will see through the HPD use her as a 'backup supply' when hes 'low' and will eventually discard her, like they do to everyone. OR, sometimes, the HPD will cheat on the N and do major damage to their fragile ego. It depends on who goes haywire first.

It can last longer between them, for supply reasons, but it all comes to the same sad end, eventually.

Actually there is strong clinical evidence that suggests that, most often-times, obsessive men and histrionic women have a strong magnetism to one another (the extreme would be the full-blown OCPD/HPD relationship). When I came across this info is was very confirming for me as it described so closely the relationship between my ex and I.

I was able to find the (partial) article again. It's taken from the book, "The Disordered Couple" by Carlson and Sperry. There is a chapter in the book titled The Histrionic-Obsessive Couple. Here's a link to the article:

http://books.google.com/books?id=Ly4DZ_ ... le&f=false

There's actually way less info on sufferers of OCPD, probably due to the fact that their behavior is more avoidant in nature and less directly pathological to "nons". You can find the OCPD forum on here and fittingly enough it's actually located within the HPD forum (you can find it at the top of the HPD forum page). I have both avoidant and obsessive tendancies.

The most eye-opening aspects of researching about my ex is all of the information that I came across describing ME in relation to her, and how both people in such a relationship are unhealthy (in different ways and to different degrees). And after all, the more I researched, the more I truly realized that it's not about her or any other girl in a relationship with me. There's no one to blame and it's important to figure out my contributing issues.

This is where I think insight plays such an important part of the whole mess after a failed (and more abnormal) relationship ends. Sure, it's easy to say forget about it and move on. But then we may just end up making a similar unconscious connection because that's the way things are. Only by really understanding as much as possible can we really be more in control of future relationships.

What do you guys think?

Ok thanks.

I seem to be hearing that it doesn't matter what type of person is involved with an HDP, the relationship is doomed to fail?
The only question is when?

There is no way to predict the 'when'..no set timetable. Just like any other relationship, it depends on a ton of varying factors. You really wont be able to figure it out. All I can say is that If they have no other attention supply around, they might sick with you for awhile. They cannot get enough, they are like drug addicts, so whenever they meet a new/better/fresh attention supply, they can move on in the blink of an eye.

would a homicidal drug addict fit this role? that was the only partner my ex had a long lasting relationship with before me.