Affirmations

Good point. lt should actually have read "in order to be whole you must first of all be broken", but it still has the same meaning. You made a really good point, l hadn't thought about looking it like that. l started this thread as a space for positivity and maybe a bit of humour to be used for people as a little place to escape to when they are posting on this forum - even a few HPD jokes as long as they are not cruel!! lt can sometimes emotionally drain me when l post on this forum, and l am sure other people feel the same, so this thread could be used as an oasis in the desert. l know there is a forum specifically for that on the Psychforums, but we are a little community here, so let's have our own. l do sometimes laugh at myself and was racking my brains to think of some hpd jokes but couldn't think of any. Anyone got any suggestions, so long as they are not cruel? Or POSITIVE (thanks for that jmac) affirmations? Or even amusing anecdotes that tell of harmless, funny situations, maybe not related to HPD. We all need to smile sometimes, it can be a medicine.

Hey Janey,
I like the intention of the thread-some time ago I had a similar idea and started a thread for 'light hearted humour' or funny anecdotal stories with the idea that humour is catching and we all need to remember to laugh once in a while. It didnt seem to catch on and I wondered why that is. It would be interesting to see how many others have had a similar idea and how well it was received. Maybe its related to the reasons why people come here in the way that perhaps its mainly when you're feeling down and wanting to vent or release and when we're happy and laughing we're not thinking about this area of our lives? Having said that, I'll add my main affirmations/mantra's;
-live and learn
-what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
-there are two sides to every coin
-coulda, woulda, smoulda!
-ANY experience is only that, not good or bad, but experience only
-I cannot control what others do, only my own reactions

'Do not take life too seriously - You will never get out of it alive'.

'Life does not cease to be funny when people die, any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh'.

'A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools'.

Hey MINMH, love your quotes! lol and so true.

And from the worlds greatest living philosopher :

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

All my life I've had one dream - to achieve my many goals

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle - they're on TV!

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel of course.

Well, it's 1 a.m. - Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

This is the worst day of my life - so far.

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

Life is just one crushing defeat after another.

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on...

Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Janey Wrote:

Good point. lt should actually have read "in order to be whole you must first of all be broken", but it still has the same meaning. You made a really good point, l hadn't thought about looking it like that. l started this thread as a space for positivity and maybe a bit of humour to be used for people as a little place to escape to when they are posting on this forum - even a few HPD jokes as long as they are not cruel!! lt can sometimes emotionally drain me when l post on this forum, and l am sure other people feel the same, so this thread could be used as an oasis in the desert. l know there is a forum specifically for that on the Psychforums, but we are a little community here, so let's have our own. l do sometimes laugh at myself and was racking my brains to think of some hpd jokes but couldn't think of any. Anyone got any suggestions, so long as they are not cruel? Or POSITIVE (thanks for that jmac) affirmations? Or even amusing anecdotes that tell of harmless, funny situations, maybe not related to HPD. We all need to smile sometimes, it can be a medicine.

Yes, just make the affirmations positive...let me give you a common example of a "goal setting" affirmation:

"I'm free of all time wasting habits".

Looks good, doesn't it!!

But affirmations repeated like this "presuppose", each time they are repeated, that the person has time wasting habits.

So, even if they got free from them...they immediately are presupposing they have them again.

It's like telling your mind, "I'm free from the flu"...whist you no longer have the flu.

You said you were a therapist, and for some reason I sense in you an education in hypnosis (if I am wrong just tell me...I'm often wrong!)...and if you know this, you know their is an unconscious AND a conscious mind--and all of this ties into these pd's.

Taking life seriously...using the wrong affirmations...NA.......

Let's take life...a little more seriously--

Because if you look around...it's falling apart.

Not an affirmation but a truism that is helpful to me:

"We don't see life as it is. We see life as we are."

jmac wrote:There is quite a bit of detail and intricacy to each affirmation...they are much more complex than people think and can even do harm if not constructed correctly.

So, we have the concept of: "Affirmation Construct". Part of AC is avoiding negative suggestions--because an affirmation IS a suggestion, but we don't want to accidentally attach negative pieces to it.

Take a look at it and see if you can see how the above affirmation could be accidentally by the unconscious mind as a negative suggestion--presupposing problems, injuries, and other troubles...why...because it was programmed that in order to we well...IT MUST FIRST BE ILL (or broken, etc).

Hey Jmac

I agree with your posting about affirmations being positive but a lot of what is implicit in Janey's affirmation is really 'reframing' the negative in a way - and I think that can work sometimes.

By seeing the 'broken-ness' as part of the PROCESS of becoming mended there's a sense that the negative vibes of the term are reframed as positive.

I think many of us after a relationship with a PD person want to outrun the broken feelings that come a result. If we could see the pain as part of a continuum then it would become a more positive experience because it would mean something. We could reframe the relationship not as a destructive force - but as a kind of challenge to ourselves, an opportunity to learn and grow. We wouldn't need to avoid it because we'd know we were on the right path? It's as Aeschylus says 'Man must suffer to be wise'.

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart
until, in our own despair, against our will,
comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.

Two Chinese proverbs; l cried because l had no shoes, then l saw a man who had no feet.................................................................A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses.

Your background and your circumstances at any time have no bearing upon who you can become

Tranquility is a place for imaginative reflection, not a place of judgement

Imagine joy and you will discover tranquility. Discover living and you will find joy

Homer ; "No beer and no TV make Homer go...a\ little..someting...something(?)"
Marge: "A little crazy maybe?"
Homer: "Don't mind if l do!"

Funny WINMH....a little disconcerting that you can sprout those quotes at will ( ), nevertheless, accurate, ponderous and funny. I love watching with my daughter (11), seeing what she finds funny and her enquiring looks at me when I laugh and it goes over her head.