Question...........

by **A little Wisernow** » Sun May 16, 2010 4:27 am

Do HPD's/NPD's keep one guy as their support guy or doormat flunky guy..............

While they check out other guys for fun, validation, and a possible trade up............

I would say yes,,,,,,,,,,they do.............

What do you think?

I believe it is common for HPDs to keep a doormat guy that they aren't truly interested in that meets their validation and attention needs but they will ruthlessly cheat on him with NPDs/AsPDs for the challenge to prevent themselves from the unrelenting boredom they suffer from when they aren't chasing a love interest.

by **sofrance1** » Tue May 18, 2010 10:45 am

Thats a sweeping generalisation. Not all people with HPD cheat.

by **asphyx** » Tue May 18, 2010 4:42 pm

sofrance1 wrote:Thats a sweeping generalisation. Not all people with HPD cheat.

I'm pretty sure they all do, it is part of the disorder to NEED validation from guys to keep up their self-esteem and one single guy no matter how great he is will not do.

Are you saying you've never cheated sofrance?

by **flawless_victory** » Wed May 19, 2010 9:16 am

asphyx wrote:
sofrance1 wrote:Thats a sweeping generalisation. Not all people with HPD cheat.

I'm pretty sure they all do, it is part of the disorder to NEED validation from guys to keep up their self-esteem and one single guy no matter how great he is will not do.

So even a "top level" NPD can't keep an HPD honest? Well, the narc wouldn't care either way, I suppose.

by **sofrance1** » Wed May 19, 2010 11:54 am

No, I don't cheat. Even if you have a personality disorder, you still know the difference between right and wrong and cheating is wrong. I despise people who cheat. I see it as weakness. You are out of control if you cheat, I am always in control.

Yes, I will get deep into a love affair within minutes and manipulate someone into loving me and then wake up the next day and feel suffocated by the whole situation and not be able to bear that person and how they think they have me and want to own me and have to bolt. Yes, I will flirt and have my "fan club" around me who I need and yet despise at the same time, but cheating, especially sex, is not what I do at all.

by **asphyx** » Wed May 19, 2010 1:28 pm

sofrance1 wrote:No, I don't cheat. Even if you have a personality disorder, you still know the difference between right and wrong and cheating is wrong. I despise people who cheat. I see it as weakness. You are out of control if you cheat, I am always in control.

Then you say...

sofrance1 wrote:Yes, I will get deep into a love affair within minutes and manipulate someone into loving me and then wake up the next day and feel suffocated by the whole situation and not be able to bear that person and how they think they have me and want to own me and have to bolt.

I'm pretty sure that counts as cheating, sorry. :lol:

by **sofrance1** » Wed May 19, 2010 1:43 pm

Why are you sorry? If you think something you shouldn't be sorry about it.

I disagree. Changing your mind about a relationship is not cheating. If that was the case every single person who no longer wished to be in a relationship would be a cheat.

I know lots and lots and lots of people who do "cheat" as in they have sex with other people behind their partners' back. They do it for various reasons but none of these people have HPD. I don't think you can correlate the one with the other. People with HPD have extreme personality traits. It doesn't mean they cheat or are promiscuous. Actually its more likely that they will withhold sex. You have much more power over a man if you don't sleep with him.

by **asphyx** » Wed May 19, 2010 2:10 pm

sofrance1 wrote:Why are you sorry? If you think something you shouldn't be sorry about it.

You're right lol, but I guess sarcasm is hard to pick up over text.

sofrance1 wrote:I disagree. Changing your mind about a relationship is not cheating. If that was the case every single person who no longer wished to be in a relationship would be a cheat.

You said you have a 'love affair within minutes' in your other post, were you referring to ONS's or only emotional affairs with other guys?

Emotional affairs are normal for people to have but I believe HPDs are generally more prone to having them and with more people at once (mostly due to attention needs).

Physical affairs ie. infidelity is definitely cheating no matter how short your affair or feelings lasted. HPDs are probably more prone to these as well because they need that constant validation that they have still 'got it', their need for constant excitement and drama, etc.

Not that I personally care about cheating and tbh I would definitely cheat if I had a serious girlfriend. I don't think monogamous relationships are what nature intended anyway.

by **sofrance1** » Wed May 19, 2010 2:18 pm

Why would you cheat?

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