What the woman in "Misery" has?

Hello,
I was shocked time ago when by accident ran across this movie (Misery) while watching TV and realized that the behavior of my now ex girlfriend was very similar to the one of the woman in the movie, less violent but in essence similar.
What is it in your opinion?

I will add that my girlfriend was at as I met her a sweet, little (28) childish girl, she was not seductive like most HPD i've read in here but share the other characteristics like been very emotional, using dramatic languaje to say simple things,controling, manipulative, in few ocassions exagerated illness to get compasion and attention etc. During the first months the most evident thing was she was obssessed with me, coming to my house every day, showering me with gifts (some times bigger or more expensive than normal) gradually I quit doing things by my self as she would be around all the time, if i wanted to jog she will come with me, when she joined a gym she chose one in the building I live in... so far I notice all that but she was so loving and caring that was not bodering me much, then she started with cheating acusations, could not stop her from checking my cell phone to the point I found my self taking it with me when going to the bathroom as I knew she could not resist cheking it if I leave it on the table. Then she started to be more manipulative and kind of more violent like following me in her car if i was not accepting to take her where I was going. Things like "I would not get out of your car until you do what i want" become more frequent, also using public ridicul as a threat to force me to do what she wanted, like coming with me to dinners or other reunions she was not invited to. I started feeling as a prisioner in my own house, (during all the relationship she lived at her parnts house) then told her that I had at work a training course on harrasment and I realized I have all the simptoms of a person victim of harrasment like mild depresion, lack of energy etc. she said it was bul****. To make it short, after 3 years together every day, knowing each other family etc she come one day saying was pregnant, I thought was another trick like when she exagerated a rutine breast check to have me believe she's got cancer...but this time was true, and from a lover! I was shocked because if anything I thought she was obssessed in love with me, never imagine she was able to do such a thing plus she didn't show much remorse and said the reason she cheated was my fault because of all the cheating from my side during this years (it was none!). Few days after telling me this she come by my house (unanounced like always) and just like nothing has happened, to give me some photos my father has given her to develop. I called her by her full name not the nick name as usual, she become mad at me because that, I expected an explanation, an appologie but nothing only later under a lot of stress she said she had become crazy, that her psychologist told her she was neurotic and off course the reason was all me cheating...


well since then I went from shocked, to depressed, to mad at her, then I found this forum first from researching on delusional jealousy, then borderline and today I'm between HPD childish sub type and some kind of obsessive love (see obssesive love wheel) but the later it is not desribed as a metal disorder perse.

Thanks for reading, your thoughts are welcomed and sorry for my poor english writing.

Nico.-

Hi,

I'm very sorry that you have had to go through this. Are you trying to actually move on from her (like, getting her out of your life)? I don't think that woman in Misery had Histrionic PD. In fact, I think that idea behind her was that she was a psychopath. Based on everything you have written here, however, it very much sounds like your ex has HPD (even up to the point when the relationship had ended and she just turns up at your door as if everything is okay). I hate people like her, as I have been a victim of one myself.

Kevin

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for responding, yes the reference to the movie Misery was probably not very accurate..and it also deviated the subject of my question which was trying to understand what my x- girlfriend has.

According to what i've read (and it's been many month now!), yes it sounds like HPD because the childish manipulations, the noticiable hiper- emotionally responses and some dramatized lenguage but there are things that don't fit well like delusions of infidelity (jealousy) she had very often, at least once a week, or so increasing the frecuency to the end of the 3 years relationship. I haven't read other HPD cases having jealousy delusions, that plus the fact that she is not the sexy/ flirting type so often described in HPD stories and that she did not move to another guy after braking with me, make me doubt it could be something else different than HPD. ( hopefully something easier to treat...)

If someone ask me what were the most noticiable characteristics I sense from her, it was obssesion, like if she can't be with me all the time she will die, also an enourmous amount of anxiety when I'm not available to her or i decide no to take her with me, in such cases she will go to any extreme to be with me including tantrums threaten me of spoiling work or family events or just forcely show up at the place I'm at. Also I read many post about HPD apologising for their behaivior, not the case with my ex, for her the things she does are minor stuff not relevant enough to justify my complaining or she just consider are in the past and it does not worth entretaining in discusing them, also because the jealousy delusions I "deserved" some punishment and the things she did to me are just minor paybacks to "all I've done to her".
She would no apology even when she finally cheated on me and got pregnant from her one-night- stand, She was seeing herself as a victim of the circumstances her concerns were 1) she will lose me (but it wasen't her fault) and 2) she was pregnant and also wasen't her fault. Infact she didn't make much attemps to appology until her family send her to my house to do so and offer having an abotion, which i said dont ask me now, too late I was hurt specially because she could, even at that difficult point, manage things different like telling me and wait for my desicion before telling evrybody that she was pregnant what she did humillating me with friends, familly etc. unecesarely... ,Also too bad she could not help but start her appology accusing me of infidelity just beacuse she saw a glass with coke over the table..... that was enough proof for her.


well still interested in hearing opinions whehter this sounds HPD or something else.

thanks!

Nico.

Noco,

Sounds like BPD to me............... Borderline...........

Nobody can diagnose your SO.

The lady in Misery is fictitious. Stephen King mentioned bipolar. She also killed so she was obviously psychotic as well. You can't diagnose a real person without a professional let alone a made up character. But if you read the book, it clearly says "bipolar moods." (I think it's a poor depiction of bipolar, but it's a great book)!

Nico, your guess is as good as mine as to what she has. Borderine (mentioned earlier) is a good bet, but then HPD could still be 'hovering' there or therabouts. It's impossible to know and, to be honest, after reading your last reply I am less sure about it. Do you have to diagnose her with something though? You could simply view her as a 'bad' person, and one that you no longer wish to associate with. It was only years after I broke up with my HPD ex that I realised she had it (or could have had it).

Kevin

The woman in Misery was actually a serial killer. She had a photo album with newspaper cutouts of murdered children from a children's hospital. She was a nurse I think, and she was killing the kids. The guy on the wheelchair discovers it.

Thanks for all the replays, they really help.
When I said that watching the movie Misery made me remember some of my ex-G traits, i was refering more to the first part of the movie when she was curing and caring the writer, she was his "number one fan" just like my g-friend was my number one fan. But in both cases they wont let/me him go.
Also my ex sometimes act like what it is called "automatic response", like a robot, in some parts of the movie the woman there does the same, is like they are in a kind of trance, it is very subtle, I guess if you haven't experinced the behavior with your partner it will be difficult to identify.

Kevin: I understand and agree with your approach that at the end of the day it doesn't matter what she has as long it is not good, BUT the problem is that I miss her and i'm considering contacting her back and see if we can make it work, and is for that reason that is important to me to know or at least have agood idea of what she may have; HPD, BPD or just some kind of obssesion because the future could be very different in one case ore the other.
thanks!
Nico.

I have to be honest, Nico, in that I'm doubtful you two will be able to work this out. I hope that you both can, but I'm very doubtful. Please prove me wrong though. You seem intelligent enough, but I'm well aware that we must make mistakes to become wiser. Of course, it's not definate to contacting her again is a mistake, but it WILL be a learning experience. I've been through a similar experience twice and feel much wiser because of it. As such, I guess I cannot blame you for wanting to try again with her.

Good luck my friend,
Kevin

Hi Nico, you wrote;

nico wrote:yes it sounds like HPD because the childish manipulations, the noticiable hiper- emotionally responses and some dramatized lenguage but there are things that don't fit well like delusions of infidelity (jealousy) she had very often, at least once a week, or so increasing the frecuency to the end of the 3 years relationship. I haven't read other HPD cases having jealousy delusions

My male HPD def had/has 'jealousy delusions'. In the later days of our rel, every time my phone would ring he would say things like 'is that your other boyfriend?' and constantly make little comments indicating that he though I was cheating on him. I usually didnt respond at all, esp later when I knew for sure that he was a cheating, lying *&$#!@# !

He also twisted his 'stories' concerning his past relationships (3 marriages) so that it was his wives who HE caught cheating on him rather than the other way around (which I now know it was). It's interesting how they even have the gall to accuse their partners of cheating and being unfaithful (interesting word that one) when they themselves are doing that exact behaviour themselves. You would think you would ignore any talk which raises thoughts of cheating.

nico wrote:make me doubt it could be something else different than HPD. ( hopefully something easier to treat...)

I wouldnt spend too much time straining yourself to justify your personal diagnosis - recognising behaviour which is destructive to you and your relationship is enough. I also wanted to completely 'understand' my X and then subsequently spent too much time on pondering on how/whether I could help 'fix' him. Waste of time, I should have spent that time focussing on myself.

nico wrote:If someone ask me what were the most noticiable characteristics I sense from her, it was obssesion, like if she can't be with me all the time she will die

Yep, got plenty of that too. It's all just words. If I have learnt one main thing i think it would be to pay more attention to behaviours and actions rather than words...also to watch out for words matching actions and behaviours.

nico wrote:She would no apology even when she finally cheated on me and got pregnant from her one-night- stand, She was seeing herself as a victim of the circumstances her concerns were 1) she will lose me (but it wasen't her fault) and 2) she was pregnant and also wasen't her fault. Infact she didn't make much attemps to appology

One night stand? Doubt it. Nothing is EVER their fault, therefore, no need to apologise.