Beware of keeping HPD as a friend on your MySpace !

I wrote about Facebook, Paris, and my birthday in my thread about my ex Latin beauty. I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter.

I know that this may be contrary to the advice in here, but what do you feel about leaving your Facebook page open temporarily as a testament to the fact that you are moving on, meeting new people, and having an interesting social life? If, by some bizarre chance (would it be bizarre?), my ex is checking out my page, how would she feel about seeing me in photos around other women and going to all sorts of great places?

Assuming that the NPD/HPD/ex does not meddle with your friends and contacts, I feel better knowing that I am sending a powerful message.

Hi:
That you manage your FaceBook page acorrding to what she may think is proof that you are not indifferent to her and what she thinks or feels about you. Indirectly, then she is still pulling your strings, and you are still the puppet. Them strings you need to cut. Forget her for and think about how you would manage your Facebook profile if she wasn't in the picture, then do just that. I know this is easier said than done, but in my opinion its the only way. Otherwise we end up living our lives with them always lurking in the shadows and having an impact. Get rid of her, forget her, and who cares what she's upto on FaceBook.

Bye Musician.

Thank you for the kind reply. No matter how far I have come in this journey, you are right to say that this woman still is not COMPLETELY out of my system.

The reason I opened up my Facebook page is in line with the rationale of so many people here: to send a message and get back at her for the suffering, even though, as someone here wrote, her own suffering is or may be far greater. My postcard of “adieux” from Paris was about me moving on; it was my own closure, and the memories of that tear-filled and hope-filled journey continue to give me joy and strength.

I feel that I have come a very long way since I first started writing here. For a long time, I thought that I was living some bizarre real-life version of that Kylie Minogue song, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head,” or that Liza Minelli/PSB song, “Losing My Mind.” Indeed, I was possessed.

At this time, I no longer spend my entire day going over all her words and actions in my brain. I no longer wake up in the morning with a photo of her in my mind. I have no problem not opening or responding to her last e-mail about the postcard; in fact, the thought of doing so makes me feel sick. I manage to see other women as attractive and sensual, whereas before no woman could ever come close to her: she was a panther and the only thing in the world.

If there is one thing that she did in a very calculated and effective manner, it was to study (and read about) my interests, passions, and underlying character traits to create a persona that would sweep me off my feet. She managed to do this so well until her cracks started to show; her need to control and make demands got the best of her, so she underestimated how deeply I had fallen for her. As so many others, including AlwaysGrowing, have noted, what remains is the idea that we do not know with whom we were dealing. If you ask me, that is the biggest turnoff of them all, worse than her cheating.

I feel a change occurring and, for the longest time, I never thought it was possible.

Merci et a bientot,

Reading between the lines a little in your post, maniadevoce, I'm seeing that you want to her to see your Facebook posts so that she understands you've moved on, and then she'll give up and move on, too?

I don't think it works that way with the HPD. I think if anything, it will present a challenge, not to mention an opportunity for more drama.

Do it for you if you really think you need to, but don't think to manipulate her that way.... The best thing for me, both for my personal healing and for keeping him disengaged, has been cold silence. When that's possible.

caro

Hi again:
I completely agree with Caro. No contact and indifference is the proof to her that you moved on. Any other move may be seen as a game (i.e. the adieux card), and in a game with HPD, YOU SHALL LOSE : ! You cant get her out of your head because you were conned by her, HPD are often frauds, and as any victim of a con artist knows we think afterwards "how the hell could that have happened to me?" or "what exactly happened?" "or I need to understand that?" etc etc.

Forget her, and get yourself a real nice, tender girl who is balanced and has values. Forget the other con artist .

Bye,
Musician

Hi guys

Just remove her. Concentrate on those photos of wonderful people and places that you intend to put on your page and do it for yourself. What she thinks doesn't matter any more.... It really doesn't.

Interesting how the most of the HPD's in this and other threads have used the word stalking to describe a real or imagined relationship. Seems like they have such an opinion of their attractiveness that they SHOULD be the target of a stalker. The HPD in my life accused me of stalking, even after I sent her and her NPD spouse a letter saying they now mean nothing to me and I'm moving on. Her Personal Protection Order has expired, but I have been warned by my attorney and therapist that she will reappear again. My MySpace and Facebook pages require me to accept new friends. I suspect this will be one of the ways she will attempt to reenter my life, so I will remain on guard. You cannot one-up the HPD, as that is just reinforces their attention seeking behavior.

Can't you remove her permanently Mabpac from your friends list? Or change your settings?

I'm gonna post an "also" on this thread my friend. I've had my own nightmares with myspace.