GF's ex: HPD BF

My girlfriend of 2+ years has an ex who I believe has HPD. He has never been professionally diagnosed, and I recognize the danger of amateur diagnoses, but I've read a fair amount and he fits the description really well.

The problem is that although they have been broken up since before we were together, he still "wants answers." And though she never initiates contact with him and ignores his letters and phone calls, it is impossible to keep from running into him from time to time. He cheated, lied, etc, etc, but says he never got an explanation for why they broke up (another lie), or wants to show how much he still loves her or maybe just wants to throw a little tantrum for old times sake.

Shouldn't he have latched onto someone else by now?

Are there any tactics for getting him to bother someone else, or is no contact the only way to go? She didn't try to bore him before she left him or anything, and for a month or two she answered his emails (neither of us had ever heard of HPD).

Is there anything we can do to get him to leave us alone?

I'm feeling pretty out of options here. We're going to move as soon as possible (for career reasons, he'd be a pleasant bi-product). But is there any way to keep him from finding some reason to move, too? I don't see anything that will keep him from writing and calling every time he gets a little cranky. It effects her less and less every time he contacts her, but she is human and he can say some nasty things, so it would be nice if he would just give up and move on.

Thanks for any help you can give.

He's searching for new supply, and until such time as he nabs his target, he may continue to hassle your girlfriend.

No contact is definately the way to go. Especially if you do this after being very definite in asking him either publically or in writing to NEVER contact you or her again.

If he continues to do so, the only avenue you have left is legal. Such as an order that is legally binding to not have him contact or be within a certain distance of you.

I agree with shivers - cut the supply. nothing else you can do - any pro-active action you will take is likely to make things worse, as he will be reinforced that he still has a certain grip on her, still a forum for his drama.

For your lay diagnosis: I think learning about PDs can teach you a couple of good things about people in general. There are dormant PD-tendencies in many people, so even if he is not 100% picture book HPD, he sounds very typical in his behaviour towards your gf and is probably driven by the same motives as HPDs. And the same strategies will work...

...and he sounds very HPD from the sample you gave us!