please delete this thread

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Hi,

I think that if you feel that you and her are completely different people, then you should quickly get out of the 'reltionship' that you have with her and just move on with your life. I dated a girl
EXACTLY like her a few years ago and she ended-up messing me up for a long time afterwards. I tried desperately to understand her behaviour but I just couldn't and it hurt me that it couldn't.

Don't give her what she wants, which is you wrapped-around her thumb. Simply leave, ignore her, and get on with your life. For the record, I think that it sounds like she has Histrionic PD.

Kevin

Dear friend.

Your Ex it's probably the worst cas of HPD I have ever herad about on this forum. And I say this not for you to feel bad about it. I say this for you to understand how unuseful it is for you to feel guilty.

Your history is like mine but magnified on an electronic microscope.

You will have to get help. If you cannot pay for therapy search for a codependency 12 step group near your home ( http://www.codependents.org/ ).

YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED. It is time for you to know that. You are an abuse victim. You need to get help. Normally HPDs leave us with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Stop Feeling Guilty. Stop worrying about her. You are too week now to save her. Besides read my signature, if you still dream you can ever save her.

You have to save yourself now. Get a job. Rebuid yourself. With time you will find someone who really loves you in an healthy way, and you will thank god you got out of it alive...

Is she still pregnant of you?

Hi,

I got your PM and will now just share my story. Perhaps the word 'EXACTLY' like your situation, wasn't right, but here's my story anyway:

I met this girl through a common friend one night and I decided to walk her home because it was dark. When we got to her house, we exchanged numbers and ended-up talking for 8 hours through the night on the phone. The next day, she invited me to her apartment (which was in another town). As soon as we got there, she tried to have sex with me but I refused. So, we just lay in her bed for a few hours doing nothing in particular. I asked her how many partners she had and she said that she couldn't remember.

Anyway, we were effectively dating each other then but I learned that she had been dating other gus too (at least two). So, I broke up with her. During my time with her though, she was always critical of the way I behaved and it never felt like we were getting anywhere. It was also clear that her dad spoiled her. She ended-up trying to kill herslf too by overdosing and she was puking into a bucket on my lap one night.

Oh, one of the other guys that she dated ended-up shooting himself dead with a shotgun because shehad promised to marry him but then pushed him aside. He had even spent a few thousand on a ring folr her.

Anyway, that's all irrelevant. She just sounds like the girl that you've described, but maybe not as extreme.

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when she called earlier she told me about a new friend on her myspace.. when i looked on his profile she left a comment calling him sexy and exotic..

Dear xkingx99,

From my short but painful experience I have some advices to offer you:

1) Stop trying to rationalize or make sense about what she tells you. Her disorder makes it impossible for her to make sense! And it will only make you more anxious.

2) Remember "YOU ARE NOT GUILTY. THIS IS CLEARLY NOT YOUR FAULT". Whatever problems you may have, they are not comparable with her unfaithfulness or psychological violence. She is playing at a all different league! People with her PD always try to blameshift and gaslight. It is their way of surviving.

3) Do not go there to get your thing. Get someone to go there for you, or take someone with you, to prevent that you get "caught" in her net again!!!

4) Do not forguet that when the baby is born you can make an adn test, without her knowledge, to know if it is really your baby. With her way of acting, you cannot be sure of that...

5) Perhaps the three most important thing right now:


a) GET A JOB, whatever that may be. You must cut your dependency upon her money.

b) GET HELP, if you cannot pay a therapist search for the nearer 12 step group for codependents...

c) Temporarily CANCEL YOUR MY SPACE, HI5, FACEBOOK, or whatever social networks she is in. We have seen on this forum that they will use those networks to make you suffer. They will look like they are having the time of their lives, even though they might be dead inside!!!

Please, read this article. It is for BDP but the same principles apply for HPD...

http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm


Good luck and take care!!!

lones wrote:1) Stop trying to rationalize or make sense about what she tells you. Her disorder makes it impossible for her to make sense! And it will only make you more anxious.

Above everything else here, this is the one piece of advice that you should take out of here, xkingx99. if you try to rationalise her behaviour, then you are opening up to a world that is dark, and one which you certainly don't want to be a part of. Trust me. Get out now and just get on with your life. You seem to have been a relatively normal person, so, don't let this idiot of a girl bring you down.

Okay? - I'm damn serious. Just get out of this situation and look forward, not back.

Kevin

delete

xkingx99 wrote:she's not an idiot! she's ###$ smart and it scares the $#%^ out of me..

she texted me today saying she's gonna get child support, sue me for slander, have me drug tested and psych evaluated.. and i think she's serious

Your right about that. She has you firmly on the leash and is now yanking on it. They are masters at torture, and it doesn't matters who suffers, just as long as her supply is secured

Xking she is playing you and will take you down in her spiral dance if you let her. I sense that she has you addicted to the chaos and it is that toxic adrenaline that in the end will do you in if you don't back away ASAP. You most likely will need help. Get a competent therapist and get some supportive people around you.

You need to break off contact with her for your own sanity is now at risk. She may or may not be pregnant with your child and if she persists on threatening you about this, I would make damn sure either way you get a paternity test to determine if that child is truly yours. Chances are high she has slept with far more people than you have caught her with or she has admitted too

Btw it was when I demanded a paternity test that suddenly my lil ex-HPD suddenly wasn't so pregnant. What a coincidence huh?

This definently sounds like a severe case of HPD as well as some type 1 disorders at play. Makes me wonder what our own HPD's were really thinking, and why everytime I was alone with her my instincts would scream I was somehow in a dangerous situation.

I know you care for this girl but I am asking you to now care enough about yourself. You know damn well any communications with her is detrimental to your health. Get free from her, get your head straight and see a lawyer about that paternity test and based on those results, go from there

Do not sleep with this woman ever again, and do not ever allow yourself to be alone with her EVER again. I hope you love yourself enough to do this

best wishes