Pathetic anger venting on people seeking help!!!

can i just say...i dont believe hpd intentionally set out to destroy men....i understand all the hurt and pain your ex caused you to 'suffer;...but you will never ever begin to imagine the hurt and pain she was going through herself. People with hpd go through a personal turmoil. For a start we dont sniff out "losers" to prey on.

From a personal perspective, whenever i engage in an intimate and emotional relationship i do so with intent to commit and love the person. However my battle with myself leads to me cheating, lying, deceiving and being manipulative. Just when i think I am happy and settled i look in the mirror and think "who are you kidding?!!" This makes me resent my partner for being a fake, consequently i go out and try to boost my esteem by hitting on another guy. What most hpd 'victims' don't realise is that a lot of the time, we talk about you to the other guy and paint you out as the bad guy, or the ex (even if we are with you) to get further validation.

I guess I would rather be a perpertrator than a victim. I would rather cure the pain of him cheating ( which he inevitably will given that i dont feel I'm good enough) prematurely than be surprised and shocked and unable to cope.

This is solely my opinion on the subject.

Yes, i am great in bed!
Yes, we are good for a f$%$!
Yes, we manipulate!

But all of this is done to fill the emptiness I feel when i look in the mirror. Do you know what its like to wake up every morning and see a whore in the mirror? Trust me, it is a horrendously vicious cycle, i cheat, i feel bad , i feel guilt, i manipulate, i cheat etc etc.

I don't think i will ever love a man...and I don't see why i should want to...life is too short in my opinion to settle for what i can get now.

i have big dreams, i am an over achiever and in 5 years time i can probably attract a billionaire or someone better than the student i am with now.... i don't see why a man would date someone with hpd and get burned and then go date another one....more fool you i say!!!!!

Well Crazy,

"I can probably get a billionaire, not the student I'm with now"

Kind of gives the lie to your statement on your last post that you won't cheat on the guy you are with now.

As far as your motivation - who cares? You obviously have no intention of stopping or seeking treatment.

It is persons actions that they should be judged by- and yours are cruel and unfair.

I'm glad you are good at f---g, but if you don't try to change you will end up sad and alone, probably with a good case of the clap.

The posters on this board are justifiably angry at having given love to someone that rewards them with a stab in the back. They will get over it however, and eventually lead a normal life with someone that loves them back, and is there for them if they become sick, or need help. You will never have that.

So, while I feel somewhat sorry for you- I also know that you have a choice to seek treatment.

It is a cruel mental illness, particularly to those whose lives are devestated by the HPD.


Good luck

Look, it so easy to see that you CAN'T be happy? You just can't be!!
You tell yourself what ever you have to to lie to yourself. Every human being that you harm with no remorse is why people vent on people like you. Thanks for removing my guilt of doing it to people like you. Why should you be able to stroll through life hurting and burning everything a normal person values? Oh thats right, you don't know what those values are because you don't know how to reflect and fight the impulse. You have a long 20 years to find out that your life is a waste of time. You won't remember it because you will have lived in in the unconsious state.

We live in the consious state and would not in a million years look into someone elses eyes and detroy them with no remorse. You need help if you can and it doesn't bother you!!

Hey Crazy,
As I know the situation more from your perspective, as I am the "bad guy" (or was), not the "victim", I wanted to ask you: what are you looking for? What are you trying to do? Do you want to change anything in your behaviour, your attitude? I can see enough contradictions in your statements to feel a bit confused... What do you want from life, honestly?
TTC

Hey CSC,

I appreciate your discussion. I have often thought that my
HPD felt the same way...........that she could do better........that
she had "settled" too quickly.......... I think her friends planted this idea in her head..............And BAM! In just a few days our great love affair...............from childhood to adolescence was over....poof............ gone................

All she had to do was tell me...............and explain it...............but no she chose to marry me for support and get her romantic fix with other "hot guys" while treating me like nothing ....

Now she's treating her new husband the same way..........
and he's a 6.............. I'm an 8.5................swo she tried to seduce me...HAHAHAHAHA...no thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JMO people should be honest with people................

CSC --

Were you formally diagnosed with HPD? You don't sound HPD at all.

You sound like you have very low self-esteem and suffer from trust issues with men. I don't know why people are so quick to diagnose personality disorders -- on others and on themselves.

I do encourage you to keep posting and getting feedback. We all have our struggles, and hopefully we can help with each others' pain.

Ocean wrote:CSC --

Were you formally diagnosed with HPD? You don't sound HPD at all.

You sound like you have very low self-esteem and suffer from trust issues with men. I don't know why people are so quick to diagnose personality disorders -- on others and on themselves.

I do encourage you to keep posting and getting feedback. We all have our struggles, and hopefully we can help with each others' pain.

HPD or not, she has a manipulative and abusive personality disorder and she needs to have this problem treated so she could stop harming others.

Calavera wrote:

Ocean wrote:CSC --

Were you formally diagnosed with HPD? You don't sound HPD at all.

You sound like you have very low self-esteem and suffer from trust issues with men. I don't know why people are so quick to diagnose personality disorders -- on others and on themselves.

I do encourage you to keep posting and getting feedback. We all have our struggles, and hopefully we can help with each others' pain.

HPD or not, she has a manipulative and abusive personality disorder and she needs to have this problem treated so she could stop harming others.

I'm sorry, but I checked and there is no listing for "abusive personality disorder" in the DSM. Perhaps you have made a therapeutic diagnosis of her we don't know about?

But sure, let's light the torches and chase her through the Internet alleys because she somehow resembles someone who at some point screwed you over. Yeah, let's do that.

Ocean wrote:

Calavera wrote:

Ocean wrote:CSC --

Were you formally diagnosed with HPD? You don't sound HPD at all.

You sound like you have very low self-esteem and suffer from trust issues with men. I don't know why people are so quick to diagnose personality disorders -- on others and on themselves.

I do encourage you to keep posting and getting feedback. We all have our struggles, and hopefully we can help with each others' pain.

HPD or not, she has a manipulative and abusive personality disorder and she needs to have this problem treated so she could stop harming others.

I'm sorry, but I checked and there is no listing for "abusive personality disorder" in the DSM. Perhaps you have made a therapeutic diagnosis of her we don't know about?

But sure, let's light the torches and chase her through the Internet alleys because she somehow resembles someone who at some point screwed you over. Yeah, let's do that.

She said it herself:

However my battle with myself leads to me cheating, lying, deceiving and being manipulative. Just when i think I am happy and settled i look in the mirror and think "who are you kidding?!!" This makes me resent my partner for being a fake, consequently i go out and try to boost my esteem by hitting on another guy. What most hpd 'victims' don't realise is that a lot of the time, we talk about you to the other guy and paint you out as the bad guy, or the ex (even if we are with you) to get further validation.

If this isn't some personality disorder (which I'm sure is HPD) then I don't know what is.

So yeah, spare me your "naive nice girl" talk. It's your weak character that got you involved in a relationship with an HPD male.

She said she was diagnosed HPD in her other thread.