by santa fe » Wed Aug 06, 2008 3:33 pm
I'd say that she's given up due to having acquired a fresh source of supply that obviates motivations toward you. That, or that she is working on a source with full obsession because of a higher potential payoff due to status, quality of supply, etc. If you were the most intriguing option she would not have stayed away this long.
Remember, it's not about who you are––it's only the efficiency with which you can create the illusion of having plugged the gaping hole in her disordered personality and the diameter of the hose with which you pump her full of hydrogen and make her feel light on her feet.
What you really need to figure out––the question you should be asksing––is why you are still obsessing after five months. HPD relationships are addictive and it's not just the hpd half. We all need to realize (and deal with) the fact that although they are disordered, mentally ill, lacking in the very characteristics that are most desirable in a real partner, we are in some way the yen for their yang. We have characteristics that make us vulnerable and even after having been treated badly, humiliated and disrespected, when the hpd looks around and says "anyone up for another round of abuse" it's like we have spring loaded elbows––when a reasonable person would be jumping out the window to get away we raise our hands and say pick me, please pick me.