What will happen to a relationship if both have HPD?

Guys... can u tell me what do u think will happen if both the guy and the girl has HPD? I know they will likely cheat each other, but will it be beneficial to both parties? Or will it do more harm to their personality disorder? I have an ex gf whom i think has HPD but i think the guy has HPD as well. although i am not sure about it.

My view is that HPD don't want affection, they just want attention. I don't know where it would go because HPD never give attention, unless it is with the direct goal of getting more attention in return.

Doc_Holiday wrote:Guys... can u tell me what do u think will happen if both the guy and the girl has HPD? I know they will likely cheat each other, but will it be beneficial to both parties? Or will it do more harm to their personality disorder? I have an ex gf whom i think has HPD but i think the guy has HPD as well. although i am not sure about it.

Or...what if the guy is NPD and the girl is HPD?

ccumm36D wrote:

Doc_Holiday wrote:Guys... can u tell me what do u think will happen if both the guy and the girl has HPD? I know they will likely cheat each other, but will it be beneficial to both parties? Or will it do more harm to their personality disorder? I have an ex gf whom i think has HPD but i think the guy has HPD as well. although i am not sure about it.

Or...what if the guy is NPD and the girl is HPD?

I see dead people.

Constantly battle for attention and cheat on each other. It would be a constant drama fest, battle, struggle, etc.

Yep, I believe the 'pack' dynamic of two disordered people can emerge. Instead of getting NS from each other (which they can't give), they end up preying on their relatives and friends.

I disagree, Lynn. I think the pack dynamic is short lived. For what brings them together will in time be the same thing that tears them apart, so...

Ultimately they will prey on each other.

If not directly, then indirectly.

These PD's are not static. They are fluid and dynamic, 24/7.

These people need supply/drama. Constantly. When the external circumstance(s) that brought them together begin to diminish they will seek supply from the path of least resistance...

They will try directly (from each other) at first and that will fail. Then they will seek supply indirectly. What this means is they will complain to friends and relatives about their partner in order to gain their supply.

Remember these two are always the victim. But if both are victims then who is the perpetrator?

The quest to make the other out as the "bad guy" will rip their relationship to threads just like every other relationship they have ever had. They are hard-wired for failure. Each and every relationship must end in failure. How else can they say "see? I'm the victim! I told you so!". It's only my distant opinion but I believe Jo and her rockstar are an example of this very phenomenon.

Of course this is just a nutshell synopsis... the end result is the same. Failure.

Jeez, Jo, that's an extreme avatar. So violent! And that location... seems to suggest lability...

thanks for all of your reply... thanks CCUM... it was enlightening... i havent heard any new news from my ex gf with HPD...but i think they are still together... for about 4 months now i think...i do want to tell my ex gf that she has HPD but i cant right now wince she may think that i am only sourgraping hehehehe... i did however sent her some emails before that she might have HPD but she did not reply... during that time she was renewing her relationship with his present bf.... i think i should wait for the next drama...

That was a HOT avatar nobodys JO ... hehehehe

Hey, Mr36D, I don't disagree with you, I didn't say the relationship would last!

There is evidence to suggest that the 'pack' dynamic does exist, it's rare, very rare. There's been a couple in the States, can't remember their names but I believe the wife was the first ever convicted serial killer or accomplice. I believe, psychologists and the like have labelled Fred and Marie West (from the UK) as such. The psychopathic nature of their characters blend with each other and there's speculation that if they had not come together as a couple, they would not have done such bad deeds as individuals.

But these are extremes, I admit, and it is what was in the back of my mind when composing my reply.

Inverted Narcissist

Also called "covert narcissist", this is a co-dependent who depends exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you are living with a narcissist, have a relationship with one, if you are married to one, if you are working with a narcissist, etc. – it does NOT mean that you are an inverted narcissist.

To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her. You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been. You must feel EMPTY and UNHAPPY in relationships with ANY OTHER kind of person. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labelled an "inverted narcissist".