Is a DPD and HPD complementary?

After reading about personality disorders and my HDP, I start to suspect that I have certain dependency disorder traits.
It seems like I've been tolerating his flirtatious behavior and false promises to keep the relationship going. Its been a month after our breakup and I still can't let go.
Do any of you suspect you have DPD? Do you think DPD's are particularly suseceptible to HPD's manipulate moves?

It is highly probable that a lot of the posters here (who are/were in relationships with HPDs/NPDs) have co-dependency issues. We are attracted to these types - like moths to light. We dance the dance of toleration.

Here is what I wrote in another post that helps me with the 'Co' issues and it feels great to be released from the 'two step':

I have learned to lower my tolerance level and raise my awareness level - which use to be the opposite with my ex HPD's. I would tolerate control issues, lies (or spinning), excuses, devaluing, and selfishness. Now...
when they try to control things, I do WHAT I want (I speak up)
when they lie (spin), I call them on it
when they give excuses, I walk away
when they devalue, I devalue right back
when they are selfish, I don't give

Without being extermely knowledgeable of DPD, I can see the relationship.

My current sittuation is:

Nov 04: during a post divorce situation Met and fell in love wiht an HPD.
Jun 05: Married
Jan 06: Starting into Emotiomnal collapse as I see here love of me disolve into arguments and ingnoring me over the privous months
April 06: Diagnosed with Situational Depression start soloft and regular counseling
Nov 06: After a summer of recovery, and Arguing back, calling her on lies, She and her kids move out.
May 07: Emotionally let her go, cease praybning to save the marriage.
Now: The lawyers are doing their job, and now, in the 54th year of my life, I am enjoying bieing single for the first time ever.

One of the huge self discoveries that my awesome counselor guided me to was an explosive awareness of my own codependencies.

It was huge.

Seeing for the first time, how this behavior had typified and affected my life, and how the others around me had been effected FOR DECADES, has transported me to a new and peaceful reality.

So, if the codependent life style that I have lived is anything like DPD, then there is, I think, an almost fatal dynamic wiht the HPD.

The HPD used praise, sex and other tools.
The DPD craise attention, support, and positive reenforcement

The HPD idealizes the target in an unrealist way
The DPD Believs the praise affection, and love from the HHPD are real and pours emotional energy into the HPD.

Then

The HPD is sated and turns attention elsewhere.
The DPD goes into emotional decline as the praise, attention, and affetion are cutoff.

The HPD reacts with anger and insecurity when she realizes that her source of suppy has dried up (even tough she is sated and no longer drawing from him)
The DPD declines even more in the face of anger and rejection comming from the source of posetive emotional energy that once sustainded him.

Something like that?

Is codependency a DPD-ish behavior pattern?

lobstermanne wrote:Seeing for the first time, how this behavior had typified and affected my life, and how the others around me had been effected FOR DECADES, has transported me to a new and peaceful reality.

Right on! I love hearing about others who finally get it. I don't regret a thing in my past... but boy, am I glad that part is over.

Questions are posted on this site so often "Why do I atract HPs" or "How can I let go?" and such.

The answers lies in our own behaviors. If we HPD targets feel like victims, we need to realize it is a victimhood that we allow to happen, or probably more accurately, choose to happen.

As a repete offender, I now realize this to be a truth, at least for me.

A tougher truth to accept, but liberating when I accept it, is the damage caused to others by my behavior, ... my victimhood, and the desire to prove it to everyone. .. victimized them,

Another poster, now banned, gives an awesome picture of victimhood. "Beefheart" could never see it at the time. Look up his posts.

"Beefheart" could never get to the place where ...

It is what it is.

A=A

Thanks everyone! Your replies were very insightful and put things into perspective.
Yes, I believe I do have some traits of DPD (i'm not sure what co-dependency means, will look it up). Actually, my recent traumas with my HPD may actually be a blessing. He made me realize that I've always needed someone to rely on since childhood as if to fill some emotional void - first my mom, then my sister and, into adulthood, my bfs.
I also realized my dependency may have led to the demise of some relationships with normal guys. I've often been overly clingy and jealous, although I do believe I have improved over the years. My HDP highlighted these issues more prominently.

Yes, look up "co-dependent" or "codependent" via google and you'll get all kinds of info on the condition. Codependency is our need to be needed, at it's most simple definition.

From what you say in your brief words here, it seems to me that you've been codependent for a very long time. Probably trained into it within your family. But the good news is that codependency is very very curable... the first step is just to get info and realize that you ARE codependent.

One of the things that bugs me about the forums here is our tendency to take the diagnostic info and narrative info and cavalierly apply them to ourselves way too quickly. We should be very wary of applying the term "personality disorder" to ourselves. That's a very heavy term.

Why not see if "codependent" fits first? It's a lot easier to cure!

I looked up co-dependency and i'd say that I fit some of the traits (e.g. i grew up in an environment where there was constant fear of abandonment), but not all of them (i dont do things for EVERYONE unconditionally).