Hindsight is 20/20

So as a post mortem to a relationship that has ended I am analyzing the situation. One of my majors as an undergrad was psych so I pulled out an old DSM-IV identified this disorder and starte perusing the web which led me here.

I a hestitant to label my X a HPD so I thought perhaps others have comments.

She...was very a good looking very outgoing person. She always had to spend at least an hour in front of the mirror before going out. When out I often felt she had to be the center of attention. She didn't like hanging out with my friends and their wives all that much. In retrospect I think mainly because they are not shallow and flighty and are well just a hard group of people to penetrate. One thing early on that I stupidly ignored was the lying. At first I was under the impression that she only had a daughter. I came to find out months later that she had a son that lived with her as well. Same father ....but why lie about that? She claimed she was afraid that if I knew she had two kids I wouldn't be interested. The flags went off but she had already had me....The lying persisted usually about ex-boyfriends or random guys she met on the internet. So the relationship persisted and I proposed (stupid me) she accepted. I was a little reluctant to set date etc as we still had our issues. She often times got stupid drunk.....at times would start smoking weed....it seemed like it was her priority and it rubbed me the wrong way. The lying persisted. So I got wise...she used my laptop constantly I threw a keyboard logger on and collected everything that was typed (take note this is my computer so no legal issues) . I sat back and just watched the conversations for about a month. She always portrayed herself as single to other guys and the ironic part is she would tell all these stupid lies / exagerations about herself. So I finally confront her. Naturally she denies and says I'm crazy. I show her the paper trail. She becomes enraged destroys my laptop. Needed a new one anyway. Needless to say I broke the engagement and she has since moved out. However, I can't seem to get rid of her completely she still hasn't forwarded her mail and still has not picked up the remainder of her belongings. She calls once or twice a week asking about the mail and I am short with her and take the conversation no farther. So last weekend I am at a local watering hole that I frequent. I had with me a female friend that I hadn't seen in a while when in walks my ex's ex - boyfriend. I knew it was him but I believe he thought I didn't know who he was. At anyrate he starts hitting on the girl I am with prodding for information about me and her. That was very odd to me.... So what does everyone think does she fit the mold? The one thing that sticks out to me is the stupid lies, lies that she would project that she was someone that she wasn't......

Comments?

Here is the clinical Diagnostic Criteria and some of my own utterances.

A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1) is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention - (they can be the 'life of the party' - but also watch for continious interuptions in conversations, improper/boastful behavoir, and actions and deeds from jealousy)

2) interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior - (they can also be covert in their seductive behavoir, so don't be surprised if you don't see it at first - they like testing the waters before they dive in - for they hate rejection of any kind)

3) displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions - (up and down, back and forth - confusion will set in with you - and if you question them on it, they will act like you are the problem and demanding too much from them)

4) consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self - (they know what they have and make sure you do too - they spend a lot of time in front of the mirror)

5) has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail - (they usually talk loud and sometimes fast - and seem to have a fixation on words and use of words - but at the same time they are vague)

6) shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion - (they do seem to cry at the drop of hat - walk into a party like it's all there just for them - and turn around and treat you like you are the one responsible for the war in Iraq)

7) is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances - (this depends if they have other PD's going on - for some are very influenced by fads, circumstances, and opinions - and others are not)

8 ) considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are - (they do create a fantasy reality in their minds about people who could care less about them - and it's boggling how they try to prop up these connections with all their efforts - for not)

Thank you, rockergirl.

This is my first post here. I appreciated your descriptions of the clinical symptoms. I've read a few of the posts and they all sound pretty painful and, yes, very much familiar. But I'm not convinced just yet.

Still learning.

some1new (are you the same as Gallagher?),

In addition, I recommend reading the first announcement on this forum: Histrionic Personality Disorder, In Depth. I have a link to the whole article, biblio and all, if anyone wants it.

Yes Roni if you can post the link that would be great

Verbatum is the term I can come up with. Your story is very very similiar to mine. It gave me chills on a couple things you said. So text book of HPD's they carry alot of the same traits. I would say a very high chance of HPD.

I've realized that the link is on my computer at work, but not at home. I'll post it tomorrow when I'm at work.

Thank you, Roni. I've read it. The introduction couldn't have been more "right on." It's in the details that I gather questions. I'm trying to separate how much I contribute to our dynamics against how much of our issues are pathological.

(no...I'm not anyone else here.)