What's the Cause of HPD?

I have a question for anyone who is HPD and would wish to respond.

Who do you feel is responsible for your disorder or should I say the cause of it.

Your mother?

Your Father?

Genetics?

Thanks in advance.

I'm really not sure. It could have been the death of my mother, the constant and endless praise and favouritism bestowed upon me by my extended family, a conflict orientated and abusive relationship with my PPD/BPD stepmother, or subsequent isolation and bullying at school.

Really not certain.

The HPD I knew told me that she had a verbally abusive mother. She had`nt spoken to her for years and never intended to again. She did`nt say much at all about her father but I got the impression she respected him. She also does`nt like her sister who she said constantly criticises her whenever they meet.

mom of hpd

Causes

Histrionic personality disorder has as many causes as there are people who suffer from it. The disorder may be caused by a combination of a person's parental upbringing, their personality and social development, as well as genetic and biological factors. While the exact cause is not yet known, it is understood that the disorder most often manifests during increased times of stress and interpersonal difficulties in the person's life. There is a common misconception that people with this disorder are weak or should be able to "snap out of it." It's important to understand that those who suffer from histrionic personality disorder are not consciously holding themselves back from correcting their behavior

To read more:

http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/condit ... oryid=101&

07

Thanks Digital, roohead and 07gas. I know what the books say, so I was just trying to get some opinions from people on this forum. It seems to me most trace it back to the mother.

My HPD wife would tell you that she doesn't have a problem. She is perfectly normal. Everyone loves her. She will tell you she is a social butterfly that hasn't done anything wrong. She will insist until she's blue in the face that she hasn't done anything wrong! And anyone that thinks otherwise has serious issues!

So, I believe trying to go to the horses mouth for this kind of answer will be fruitless.

I would think that to determine a cause for a particular person it would behoove one to have a knowledge of their personal history. I don't believe a determination can be made in rapid fashion.

I was unaware of my wife's PD for over ten years. That is not to say that I didn't suspect there were deep rooted issues with her personality. I just had absolutely NO CLUE as to the depth they were manifest.

I spent the next several years trying to cope, offer support, sought help for her and then for me, and then pretty much just resigned myself to her disorder. It was then, when as a result I must have narrowed her supply, that she ended our marriage as though tossing out yesterday's newspaper.

Was she able to maintain long term friendships and stay employed longterm without trouble at work?

there is no absolute cause of HPD. It transforms throughout time most likely through nature and nuture. One HPD can have a "great" home and another "horrible". I think I came from a good home....i wasnt deprived, but there were issues like in any family. I was not abused, neglected or slighted. my father was out of the picture and i had a lousy, cheating stepfather. this is probably where most of my HPD sprouted from. Loss of male role model and lack of stability with stepfather who didnt like me. My mom was ALWAYS consistent and loving to me.

Mother of HPD, I still think your daughter is BPD, not HPD. Her life is way to chaotic and messy to be simply HPD. I think you would be better off studying BPD and reading "walking on eggshells".

I have always had a job. Most of my jobs have last years....I do switch around but never go without work. I am a professional with a masters degree and was able to commit to school. HPD's life are typically more stable than BPD, which is why I have always thought that your daughter sounds much worse than simply HPD. Many HPD's live "normal" productive lives as least professionally. It is usually only the interpersonal relationships that are really difficult.

mom of hpd wrote:Was she able to maintain long term friendships and stay employed longterm without trouble at work?

It's interesting that you ask that. My mife's case is a little bit different. Let me tell you why.

Like most HPD's she did have trouble holding a job. Especially if that job required her to work with other women. She had several jobs until she found her current job that she has had for 27 years.

What was the difference with this particular job?

Supply!

She went to work for a major transportaion company where the ratio of men to women is astronomical!

A major defect of the HPD is inappropriate sexual behavior.

BINGO! YAHTZEE! Suffice to say she has slept with several co-workers and even left me for one.

She has had several job titles while working there. Some were absolutely horrid to her. But supply was just around the corner. There were men everywhere. Now she works in the payroll department where the phone rings constantly and she can feel as though she is the center of attention. It really is the perfect job for an HPD woman.

Gratuitous anectdote...

We both worked there. Years ago I would take our kids up to see her on Fridays so we could have lunch together. I loved showing off our kids! But she always expressed discomfort when I did this. She would insist that we were going to get in trouble for bringing the kids up or she would say don't come to the office, just wait for me in the breakroom. Of course I never did this, I took them to the office... to show off! And all the women would fawn all over the kids and of course we never got in trouble. But she would get very angry with me about bringing the kids to her office! I mean PISSED off!

Years later I finally figured it out. The kids stole her thunder when the women would fawn over them and the men in the office would see her as domesticated and stop flirting!

Classic HPD behavior!

Hi MyLife,

I think she may have some symptoms of bpd........but as far as being hpd I have no doubt. She has every single symptom. I read somewhere that there are two types of hpd....one that is successful in employment and one type that is very needy and irresponsible. She is the latter.

Now that I have discovered this diagnosis.....I can recall seeing symptoms at a very young age. I thought her dad was borderline because he is exactly the same however he maintained employment longterm. Now, I think ......oh who knows MyLife, he was cruel to animals too, very into porn and had no friends....but then he was very attention seeking. Hate to go back there in my memory since I have been happpily married for years now.

I try to review to see if I did anything to cause this or bring it out.

She was an only child for 9 years so I know I spoiled her in a way but she was my life....no pun intended. And she certainly was my center of attention.

Thanks for the reply.....it all helps.