Loves the Attenion?

I've been around a woman who may have HPD. She told me very personal information almost immediately, practically after I stepped through the door.

Since then, she has told me about "the love of my life," a guy who she has dated on and off for four years. She also told me that a guy at work was coming on to her all the time and making her life miserable. She said he called her all the time and made her boyfriend jealous and angry.

The kicker for me was how did the guy at work even know her phone number. She told me, bit by bit, that she and the guy at work had an affair while he was in the process of separating from his wife.

I thought it was strange how she never revealed "why" she'd had an affair with the guy since she was in a relationship at the time. She made it sound like she felt sorry for him, so she had sex with him more than once.

The guy obviously took her intentions differently and began trying to pursue their relationship. The woman told me this was about to destroy the "wonderful" relationship she was in, she wasn't about to throw those years away on the guy at work.

The guy at work transferred to another city last month. Now the woman seems miserable. I told her that she should be happy now that the guy has faded into oblivion (he hasn't tried to contact her once since his job transfer).

She told me she was "thrilled" he had moved to a beautiful city and hoped he found "love right away." I don't believe her. I think she is secretly missing him calling her and giving her attention.

Do HPDs enjoy the tug of love scenarios? I got the feeling that while she was crying "my eyes out" over the guy at work, she was secretly enjoying the attention he was lavishing on her. She liked he couldn't get enough of her. She would never admit it, but she enjoyed it because she was at the center of attention.

She said, "He caused me nothing but pain, torment and unbearable suffering. Whenever he'd call, I'd tell him so." Interesting. If he caused her "pain, torment and unbearable suffering," looks like she wouldn't have answered his call to begin with.

Is this behavior common for HPDs in general? Is it their insecurity that encourages the game playing or their incessant need for attention? Do they end up back in love games where others are vying for them?

I've noticed with HPDs or people that I believe have HPD the truth trickles out, it never pours out and it is never consistent. They'll tell you a little bit and it's always a little bit different depending on the moment or the mood.

Is that selective memory, where they black it out at times and remember it at others? Or are they just really good at seeing the forest but only picking the trees they want to talk about at a certain time? Thanks.

"Do HPDs enjoy the tug of love scenarios? I got the feeling that while she was crying "my eyes out" over the guy at work, she was secretly enjoying the attention he was lavishing on her. She liked he couldn't get enough of her. She would never admit it, but she enjoyed it because she was at the center of attention."

Yes.

That is their world.

One big never ending Alice in Wonderland fantasy soap opera basically.

When cruel reality disturbs this for them alcoholism, drug abuse or affairs as mylife calls them are used to put them safely back in fantasy land away from the world of reality, consequence and pain.

"She said, "He caused me nothing but pain, torment and unbearable suffering. Whenever he'd call, I'd tell him so." Interesting. If he caused her "pain, torment and unbearable suffering," looks like she wouldn't have answered his call to begin with."

Oh she just wanted you to pity her.

That was the attention she wanted out of you with that b.s fable.

"Is this behavior common for HPDs in general? Is it their insecurity that encourages the game playing or their incessant need for attention? Do they end up back in love games where others are vying for them?"

I think its mostly attention.

I think with most of the wild dramatic thoughts that are swimming around in their heads they don't have much time to be insecure.

They are too busy living in HPD dreamland basically dreaming of ideal love or worrying about some imagined crises.

"I've noticed with HPDs or people that I believe have HPD the truth trickles out, it never pours out and it is never consistent. They'll tell you a little bit and it's always a little bit different depending on the moment or the mood."

You know this reminds me of something very interesting I don't believe I ever asked mylife or the HPD's that have come to the forum besides her that I've talked to and that is...

Something I'd heard about HPD's from another forum is that some of them feel so guilty about a sex act they performed that they will make up some story for you of how this one "annoying guy" kept pestering them to have sex and do all these wild things in bed but of course she turned the guy down because she "isn't that kind of girl" lmao.

What I heard is basically by HPD's telling you this b.s version of events they are able to believe their own lie as the truth of what happened and finally get over their guilt of what they did with the guy that they now have regretted doing things with sexually.

i've never let myself sink into the relationship senario...too weak and needy. do i need to rely on someone else? no
i am only HPD in the sense that i am obsessed with my own beauty & so are others, men and women are always attracted to me and i try to keep the NS coming, if it doesn't i'll just let them know what they really mean to me. nothing, a toy. then i still get attention. "the one who got away" or was unobtainable or something.

does this still seem HPD to you peeps?

No it does not sound like HPD. It sounds clearly like NPD to me.

i've never let myself sink into the relationship senario...too weak and needy. do i need to rely on someone else? no
i am only HPD in the sense that i am obsessed with my own beauty & so are others, men and women are always attracted to me and i try to keep the NS coming, if it doesn't i'll just let them know what they really mean to me. nothing, a toy. then i still get attention. "the one who got away" or was unobtainable or something.

does this still seem HPD to you peeps?

You sound very much like my HPD/BPD. She strung me and others along into thinking there is a potential for a relationship. She often spoke of how much others loved her. One thing I've noticed though is it has really tapered off. She no longer talks about how others find her beautiful. Is this normal. Have you ever done this once you've realized your supply has been tapped out. Just curious.

...no that's not normal to me. but i don't have BPD.

Lost -

You stated that you are into looking beautiful, being admired, and having others admire you....that is NPD. I have not read any posts by you that indicate BPD to me...but thats just my personal opinion. Certainly cannot diagnose anyone without an intensive interview with history, symptoms, etc...and you are still young right? It is rare that a young adult/older teenager would be diagnosed with any PD cause so much of the personality traits are transient through this stage.

i'll be 18 soon but yea, i am young i guess
the thing is...i know i'm "losing it"/its already been lost
the vast majority of my thoughts & actions are based on perceptions that are completely unrealistic, from a self-detached POV (i'd give examples but want to spare myself from revealing the madness within, aka if i write what i really think...idk, i night know that it's not "true")

PS- i agree with ur diagnosis, i'm getting a book on it for christmass (YAY!)