Sound More Like HPD or BPD?

I posted some of this to the BPD board. My ex-girlfriend is HPD. When she and I parted, she set me up with her friend, Katie, who is a lot like my ex-girlfriend in some ways.

She came on really strong at first, which turned me off. She backed away some, so we got closer. I told her I only wanted a friend. She said that's what she wanted, too.

Slowly I became really attracted to Katie and started caring about her. She told me she had a long history of broken romances and a quick temper. She also said she "burns out" quickly in jobs, relationships, etc.

I became emotionally involved with her. She said she was in grad school studying for a professional degree. She didn't know if she'd ever marry. I am not marriage minded myself, so that attracted me more.

Then, a few weeks ago, she started mentioning a guy she had never mentioned before. I asked her if she was dating him and she said yes. We weren't exclusive, so that was fine.

The only thing that bothered me was how she started talking about being really close to the guy. I doubt she's known him any longer than she's known me. She never had mentioned him before, but now she was saying how close they were and how he played such a special role in her life.

I asked her why she hadn't mentioned him to me before, since we were mostly friends. She said she didn't know how I'd react, so she kept it to herself. I have a feeling I know when he came into her life because that's when her phone calls, visits and Chat room visits slowly dropped off.

All of a sudden it was like I was dealing with a new person. She'd gotten me emotionally involved in her life, yet when I'd ask about people or situations she'd divulged every detail about to me previously, she'd barely talk about them as if they no longer interested her.

She told me recently that she's considering moving to where the guy lives. She said they are serious even though she also told me they have met in person only twice. She said they both want to get married and start a family. Having a family is now her number one priority.

I know I've been played, but her fickleness and sudden transformation are baffling. I really care about her, but it's like I'm dealing with a whole new person now. I have a feeling this one will last about as long as the one I originally knew. Weird.

I've heard that BPDs have fears of abandonment and being alone. She lives by herself and doesn't seem to want someone with her all the time. She has said she's bitter and paranoid because an ex-fiance left her for another woman.

She's aggressive and loud. I've seen her pitch really bad temper tantrums. She tends to see people as all good one day, then all bad the next week. She doesn't see any contradiction in her perception.

I'm curious if many HPDs tend to have "black and white" thinking. I've told Katie it bothers me she "compartmentalized" someone who was obviously playing a large role in her life. We're friends mostly, so I thought she trusted me. She didn't see anything unusual with keeping chunks of information from me that were obviously important in her life.

Does Katie sound like she has BPD or HPD features? She's theatrical in some ways, but can be contented with one on one interaction. Is this yet another "role" she's tried on? Thanks.

BPD. (Tantrums.)

Edit: On the other end of things, HPDs deny anger and control themselves.

A person can have both HPD and BPD at once.

BPD's most often are identified as having black and white thinking.

Also BPD tantrums are usually filled with a lot of rage that frightens people and confuses them as they can't figure out ie make the connection of why the BPD is angry as their anger generally seems to come out of nowhere and make no sense whereas an HPD tantrum is different because its like a big baby throwing a dramatic fit moreso than anything scary.

Anyway what she sounds like to me is an HPD with possible BPD but she's probably a light case of BPD as the full BPD's need people around at all times or they feel like they don't exist and then often need to cut to bring themselves a sense that they are still alive or if they decide not to cut or just don't need to do that they will feel incredibly horrible until they get in the presence of other people.