Do people like you?

Hey pwHPD, do you find that most people like you? Or dislike you? Do you have real friends? I mean long-term friends that you have always been there for them and they have for you too. Do you like to contact people or do you let them contact you?

I find that I'm kind of like Marmite; in the sense that people either love me or hate me. Obviously, I would prefer the former but I think I can brush people up the wrong way (particularly those of the same sex). I do have some real, long-term friends, who I consider to be my "best friends" but my circle of other friends/acquaintances changes often. I like to contact people, but prefer it when they contact me. If I contact someone and they take a long time to reply, it really winds me up.

Guffaw wrote:I find that I'm kind of like Marmite; in the sense that people either love me or hate me. Obviously, I would prefer the former but I think I can brush people up the wrong way (particularly those of the same sex). I do have some real, long-term friends, who I consider to be my "best friends" but my circle of other friends/acquaintances changes often. I like to contact people, but prefer it when they contact me. If I contact someone and they take a long time to reply, it really winds me up.

Yucky, marmite lol. Actually I have never had it.

Erm. Anywayz... thanks and oh also welcome to here. :3

vertices wrote:Hey pwHPD, do you find that most people like you? Or dislike you? Do you have real friends? I mean long-term friends that you have always been there for them and they have for you too. Do you like to contact people or do you let them contact you?

HPDs are much like NPDs, not many real friends as they prefer shallow interactions that don't trigger anxiety associated with intimacy.

Hey vertices,

Hope you don't mind my answer (even though I don't have a histrionic personality).

I think most people have their own lives, so most neither particularly like or dislike me (i.e., neutral).

Those who I do spend more time around I try to treat them as I'd like to be treated, and they seem to like me (or like being treated well).

The few who know me very well tell me they like/love me, but of course the more intimate the relationship the more potential for some days/moments when things go downhill, but... the key thing is in the big picture we talk it out eventually and if we didn't (overall) care about each other, well, of course we'd also not care enough to feel deeply hurt over disagreements.

Question if you don't mind?

It seems the question of 'do people like me?' is very important to some people with HPD. I am curious if you could explain why.

I'm not histrionic either,but I do like attention lol.

People usually kinda go between liking and disliking me.I'm not close enough to most people for them to hate me,but I did have few girls really hate me too.I don't like being liked tbh,not by other girls at least,I'd rather have them bitch about me.

I'm not sure if I have real friends.I usually enjoy first few weeks or months of friendships and later I start getting annoyed and it all gets pointless anyway.I always kept a group of few friends in high school just so I wouldn't be friendless and without anyone by my side.And all my friends are pretty shy and quiet.

I rarely contact people,I let them contact me.I think it depends on their personality and how's our relationship atm.

I don't have any friends anymore because:

1. My true friends were in junior high school but even they the only girl what really wanted to be my true friend I first disvalued as not so classy but still that were the best years.

2. I move countries and hated everybody because the new people turned out to be cold and unfeeling and envious of my achievements so I became something of a loner.

3. At university I was stuck up since I am classy not a bimbo and everyone was just competing - men were immature and quite ugly and girls were competing and envious so no real friendships.
I am very shy but extremely intelligent and have such a rich inner life - could not find anyone to match that.

4. At work everyone was either indifferent or jealous - the girls get envious and get nervous so they don't invite me if they have a partner.

5. I don't really care about friendships since I like being in my own inner world at home but I want an audience to adore me and care for me and admire me.

6. Faking friendships is beneath me.

7. I find most people not as special as I am but get very envious myself of their relationships (even if I would probably not want to LIVE through their relationships) - I just want to be seen as super popular and loved not the compromises, and invitations (except when I play the glamorous silent queen).

This is funny as mostly people that have no HPD are responding.

My experience with a woman with HPD whom I've know for 3 years. She interprets her relationships as more intimate than they are (as is typical). She does not appear to have any friends, however she may say that she does or she may misinterpret the relationship as friendship (she is mostly dishonest most of the time). There are many men and some women who want to have sex with her. Women mosly dislike her and she dislikes them (views them as competitors and wants to attract their husbands/boyfriends).

She complains that everyone just wants sex.
She attempts to exploit most men and cannot really offer friendship in return as she is mostly concerned with herself and her own needs. She pretends to empathize or care sometimes and it's obvious after a while.

She lives with her sister whom she calls her best friend. She pays for the apartment and sister's expenses. I doubt the sister would live with her if there was no financial interest. I've often seen that the sister is annoyed with her for various reasons.

Of course. My personality is magnetic.

Unless you offend me, and then you get the bitchface of doom.

where8 wrote:This is funny as mostly people that have no HPD are responding.

Yeah, there seems to be an influx of that lately...

To answer the OP would probably take a lengthy explanation and I don't feel like typing one out right now. Maybe later.
Short answer: I'm a difficult person to get to know, but people usually either hate me or love me. I drive most people away and I can be draining and have been told so, and have been told I'm high maintenance and I'll be the first to admit I'm an emotional vampire (god I hate that term but it is true though).