Histrionics and Asexuality

Question to all

is there a corelation? I think so.

What are the reasons?

FYI - I don't mean the hypersexuality on the surface but the feelings one has when faced with a proposition of sex etc.

Interesting question.

While it's not mentioned in the DSM-IV, it has been written about by several members on this forum.

I guess a common thread I've read is that enjoyment is in the being wanted, the pursuit.

I suppose too that once done, some pursuers stop trying (i.e., those just looking to score and then are no longer interested), while others want to become deeply involved (i.e., those who want an exclusive relationship)?

For me it's a process that just lacks a lot of pleasure. There is none. it's monotonous to do something that you don't gain pleasure from.

there's no talking...I am usually always talking to someone. that's all I got.

I think that many PDs just know that they are children inside and perhaps their unconscious mind forbids them somehow to cross the line into adult sexuality thinking it would be inappropriate to have sex as 'children'.

I can say of myself that even at 35 I am still rather romantic and naive sexually and also kind of child-like. I find many of the sex-related stuff rather repulsive much preferring a very tidy, pretty, innocent environment and activity.

Personally that doesn't totally resonate with me. I still masturbate frequently and that is pleasurable...but sex with another person is just in general not.
Being with another person just doesn't do it for me - at all.

I find sex things repulsing as well but I understand from a distance sex and how much it controls people, especially men. I am still rather provocative...via text I will say many dirty things on occasion and once that is said to me I think it's a joke. I have embarrassed many men time and time again when they have come on to me, and I just send awkward replies because I am completely uninterested how much they want to take my from behind.

I also understand romantic things from a distant. I mostly try to manipulate people with material things they enjoy but only said once. Oh I'm so sorry...here's those chocolate hershey kisses with the mint filling. And then everything is fixed again...I had to learn to be romantic because I am prone to creating chaos for just plain "fun".

All my life I have tried to learn relationship things from other people and tried to mimic them - as I do not have the capacity I don't think to be genuinely intimate with other people.

PoshBird wrote:I think that many PDs just know that they are children inside and perhaps their unconscious mind forbids them somehow to cross the line into adult sexuality thinking it would be inappropriate to have sex as 'children'.

I can say of myself that even at 35 I am still rather romantic and naive sexually and also kind of child-like. I find many of the sex-related stuff rather repulsive much preferring a very tidy, pretty, innocent environment and activity.

I've wondered something similar at times as well. Especially since many disordered individuals seem to have issues with underdeveloped authentic emotions, sense of self, identity, etc, it's possible that not allowing these aspects of one's psyche to mature and grow in a healthy way somehow impacts the way the disordered individual's unconscious mind "processes" sexuality.

VirginiaEsquire

I've wondered something similar at times as well. Especially since many disordered individuals seem to have issues with underdeveloped authentic emotions, sense of self, identity, etc, it's possible that not allowing these aspects of one's psyche to mature and grow in a healthy way somehow impacts the way the disordered individual's unconscious mind "processes" sexuality.

Many of the other cluster B PD's are obsessed with sex...especially borderline and narcissistic. I will admit that I am underdeveloped in a lot of areas. but I have never felt any type of attraction to anyone I've ever just seen on the streets. In grade school I never had a crush. I used to make up crushes in elementary school because everyone else had them. this continued until high school...I would see girls fawn over men with nice bodies. It confused me for a long time. In elementary school i used to dress very provocatively though. but I had no interest in gaining sexual interest from men...

in my adulthood I talk to women and they make provocative comments about when they see a man they feel this/this happens, etc. It's always just been genuine confusion..I imagine sexual attraction is much more a reflex.

No, I didn't have that interest in male bodies either or it made me uncomfortable and I would never discuss it with other women. I idealised boys and men always though especially unattainable men.

But I find it repulsive and would run away if they tried to show interest or make physical contact (not even holding hands). I also had fear of bacteria so kissing was so out of question.

I wasn't talking about masturbation -that's fine as I have problems with orgasm during penetration. I just feel so uneasy about men's bodies and with sex talk WHEN they show interest.

I used to have tons of phone sex when younger but only to keep him interested while at a safe distance.

When other women discuss men I just kind of nod my head...I really have nothing to say. Most people in my personal life know I'm asexual. The struggle is keeping the distance and between my romantic interests/and the people that know I'm asexual. because I generally don't tell anyone that's pursuing me I'm asexual - that ruins the fun for me.

I've always idealized people that were challenges. Usually authority figures over me. If I can't get them romantically...being their "favorite" is good enough for me.

I make physical contact. I hold hands, kiss, hug, yadadada...but I do not enjoy it. It's a very trapped like feeling. It's to keep things smooth. I generally like how things are going until all the touching starts...I also find it uneasy when they show interest as in words coming out of their mouth about what they want to do with me sexually and touching me.
Take me out to dinner, buy me nice things, don't touch me type deal. Some people on here are take me out to dinner, buy me nice things, kiss me hug me don't have sex with me.
it depends I suppose...

Many women have trouble orgasming with penetration. Some of my most sexual female friends have never even HAD an orgasm...which is just crazy to me.

Pink01 wrote:
All my life I have tried to learn relationship things from other people and tried to mimic them - as I do not have the capacity I don't think to be genuinely intimate with other people.

^^ I am absolutely the same way Pink. I have faked emotional intimacy my entire life in order to get what I wanted. Physical intimacy ONLY on my terms and that is not often. With the "right" person I could see them a few times a year. Otherwise, forget it. No interest whatsoever for intimacy of any kind.