Histrionic Men

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the site. I'm a soon to be 19 year-old blond male in college. I believe I have a mild-moderate diagnosis of Histrionic Personality Disorder. I diagnosed myself, but I am certain this is what I have.

I am currently a freshman in college. I'm asking for advice from any other Histrionics, male or female.

I'm having a hard time making friends which is expected. I recently discovered that I have this disorder and although I know one of my old friend's from high school probably had this disorder as well. I'd really like to get in touch with any other histrionic males.

I'd also like to hear some advice about dating, particularly finding a casual intimate partner, because although I receive a lot of attention from women, it is proving very difficult to find a sexual partner.

If anyone has anything to say go for it.

I am in no way empowered to validate or devalue your diagnosis, but I am wondering if HPD is really the issue. I say that because you mentioned that you think your friend from highschool has it, too, and in my experience, histrionics do not get along with each other unless the authority in the relationship is objectively given to one, and not the other, such as a therapist and patient or parent and child, I guess.

Furthermore, I am currently in a similar situation. I am also a freshman in college, and a male. I am gay, though. I've found that the best way to make and keep friends is to kind of be a social butterfly. Don't find one group and then settle down and never look for other people, because sooner or later the group in which you have rested will either bore you or alienate you, depending on their behavior and your behavior, each to varying degrees. I think histrionics are for the most part extremely intelligent, so it's very likely that people are going to be dumber than you. Do not assess people on their intelligence. Even the dumbest people can make you happy and provide assistance when you need it.

With dating, it is best, in my opinion, to be as conservative as you can manage. Though to others you appear sexually liberated and assertive, it is likely that you have erotophobic attitudes because of your personality disorder. Even if you really want a specific guy, just be friends with him at first. That might sound horrendously boring, but if you do it right, it won't be. Be entertaining to them in person, but not sexual. Don't text them often until they've demonstrated to you that they care (you can tell if they care by if they ask questions). After this, try to ensnare them in the role of hero or provider. Don't exploit that role, but enjoy everything they do for you. At that point, it can become romantic if that's what you want.

Hey

Thanks for the feedback I really appreciate it. I am know I am histrionic, and at the time most of the control and power went towards my friend at the time. He was "better" than I was in both of our eyes. I am straight, but I'll take the advice the same on dating. I mean I'm definitely experienced with women, and I have confidence, and can charm women easily. It's more the fact that I have absolutely no social life. And every time I attempt to build one, it starts out great, and then just crumbles.

My problem with women, is that many seem obsessed with me, to such a degree that's it's just strange, scary, and a turn-off. And then there are many who seem weird ed out by me, and reject me before I even get a chance to get to know them. I just am finding that so many girls act insecure around me. And the more laid-back and friendly I am, the worse it gets. And if they don't feel comfortable around me, my chances of finding someone to get with are slim.

I mean I sex is really the half of it. I just want to know how any other histrionics coped with college. And the obvious importance of social proof or a social life. And the fact that my disorder hinders that.

What symptoms do you feel that you have?

I feel as though I have all the symptoms.

I have the need for attention, the impressionistic voice, the constant need for approval, the obsession of my image, the histrionic stare.

For the most part, I'm fairly happy with my life. But 3-4 times per day, for at least 5 minutes, as long as 30 min. I feel terribly depressed, I hate myself, I hate my life. I hate the fact that everyone dislikes me because of this ######6 disorder.

Whatever I do, it seems to backfire on me. On one hand, I try to not let the disorder have limitations on me, and then I fail miserably at having a social life.

On the other hand, I try to embrace the disorder by acting however I want, and forgetting judgement, which seems to end in disaster.

Most recently I am trying to find a good middle ground. But I ######6 hate everyone in my tiny little dorm of 124 people. And I feel as though they are growing to hate me as well.

I'm sick of hearing myself complain about how difficult my life is. When in reality, I've had everything handed to me my whole life.

I just want to move out to an apartment, and never live in a dorm or on a college campus ever again.
College is supposed to be about education primary, but the other big reason, is to make friends and grow up. The first one, I'm fine with, but the other two, I feel as though, I have no chance.

It just ######6 sucks.

Another thing I want to mention.

Is that I keep on really hurting girls emotionally.
And I don't seem to care. I mean I just don't feel bad for people, except myself.

It just seems that all I can do is pity people. I want to change, I know I should. I just don't know how.

I can't just not live my life. I can't just not be physical with the opposite sex. It drives me insane. Just looking at the girls I have hooked up with since I've been at this school. It's always ended terribly.

I just don't know what my next move is...

Hi HT and welcome

Is that I keep on really hurting girls emotionally.
And I don't seem to care. I mean I just don't feel bad for people, except myself.

Do you have any particular issues against a woman or women in your past? Do feel bad after mistreating the girls? If you don't feel bad at all, then why is it a problem for you? Do you feel guilty, or perhaps you are afraid of an emotion (guilt) that you don't understand, and also because Nons feel guilty you are afraid of alienating others and missing out on some opportunity in life (?)

I can't just not live my life. I can't just not be physical with the opposite sex. It drives me insane. Just looking at the girls I have hooked up with since I've been at this school. It's always ended terribly.

Got confused with your double negatives here, but it sounds like you are just having physical sexual relationships, and you want more than that.
How do things end? Do you feel like you don't like the sex, or you don't like the intimacy, yet nevertheless you want the intimacy on top of the sexual experience?

I think histrionic men are cute

I definitely know what you mean by ruining everything with the disorder. I tend to either be reclusive and lonely but without as much self-loathing, or flirtatious and engaged and feeling how annoyed people are getting but not having the will to stop being so in their face. I also get how you feel about women being insecure around you, though with men, respectively. The guys who are trying to get with me seem fake or like they're not as good as me, while the guys who aren't trying, the guys I seem to want the most, always seem to be worlds superior to me.

I also have periods everyday where I just despise everything about myself and others. Times where I'm just mad to have ever tried anything. Those times end and I put my face back on.

Sounds like you have a touch of BPD coney?