compliments mean nothing to a HPD

It seems like ppl think hpds love compliments.
I'd say, 'for a second may be, but not really'
first of all let me say, I forget that I liked someone.
but I more quickly forget that someone likes me(which is why I can be so mean to ppl who like me)
sometimes, to recall the compliments I heard in the past, it astonishes me
'ohhh wow i heard that from him/her, COMPLETELY was forgetting it.'
something like ' i am mesmerized by your beauty' or 'you are bulabulabula'
complimenting things people say, it quickly gets deleted from my brain. and i'd need immediate new supply, new person to meet, and more compliments,

no matter how much big compliment is, it just... means nothing actually. I think HPDs want to hear something different. They are not looking for compliment for appearance/intelligence, even though i t seems like they do,
but I think what we really try to find, is someone who truly loves me

I think if I were a non girl, compliment would MEAN something. it would make me FEEL something
heighten self esteem or something.
it almost feels weird, when i get compliments
it just, comes into one ear, and goes out through other ear and i am just blank
like a third person obsserving outside from my body.

What if a compliment might be an indication that someone was interested...a potential first overture to what might grow into love?
Love at first sight or that is sudden sounds just sounds like rapid infatuation, and is probably short-lived. I don't know if this what you mean, but if I had just met an woman, and within 5 minutes or 5 days she said "I totally love you," I'd be cautious about getting involved with her.

But that's just me.

My HPD didn't care about my compliments on her beauty, (and she was "hot").

BUT when Mr. wonderful captured her "heart" she seemed to like his compliments.

But that was day 1 of their week long affair. He was very good-looking and being idolized I guess.

Maybe his compliments were more important than mine,

as I was simply her flunky support guy. (Although she "married" me).

actually bf's compliment means nothing
but other's compliment means SOMETHING
for a VERY short time

but it soon flies off from my head
and should find someone new to give me SHORT blissful feeling

Compliments work on me, especially if it's about my body. Compliments about my intelligence or abilities don't mean anything to me.

yyyyy -

Some people eat a meal, and are satisfied for several hours, and then don't think much about food until it's time to eat again. Some people however become addicted to food, "need" it or think about it near constantly, some over-eat, and while each bite provides some short-term pleasurable sensation, it's never enough. Last bite quickly forgotten, they need another and another endlessly.

We all enjoy, even need, some praise & compliments now and then, but while some people are satisfied with the occasional compliment, some are addicted. Rather then providing a long sense of satisfaction, for some compliments provide only short-term relief, and are rapidly forgotten in the pursuit of more more more.

In other words, what you're describing sounds a lot like an addiction. Most of us get addicted to whatever because it provides some form of pleasurable sensation that covers up that we don't feel good otherwise. Unfortunately it's just a band-aid fix, and the longer it goes on the more numb we become to our addiction, the more we need to get that pleasurable sensation.

One thing I did learn though. It really doesn't help others to feed into their addictions. Nor does it help us when others feed into ours. Call it tough love I guess, but in many ways the kindest thing you can do for someone who is addicted to something is tell them you care about them, but the addiction is a problem, and ask that they please seek help to really deal with the issues behind the addiction.

So that written, I really do hope you heal, and keep working on the real issues. Compliments may feel good temporarily but it sounds like you're already reaching the point in your life where you're rapidly growing numb to them too. My worry is that will lead to a search for yet other coping mechanisms, possibly ones that are even more harmful. Addictions are so hard to give up, but possible with support (support is very important!!), and worth it!

Best wishes,
X

So if an HPD is being a dick to you she probably forgot you liked her ? This girl always acted like I enraged her even though all I did was give her attention. Then I started ignoring her and she REALLY started getting pissed at me. lol I was like wtf.

Hi, I recently posted for the first time in the sexual abuse and incest forum but came across histrionic personality disorder and although not discussed with myself and any of my supporters like counselor etc. I strongly believe due to my childhood I suffer from this disorder!?

Nearly all the symptoms I strongly relate too and most of your posts (yyyyy) I identify with, especially this one.

I care so much about how I look or how others see me , be it my appearance, intelligence or opinions...
Yet when I am complimented on any past achievements, my looks, or qualities in my personality people like, I just can't take the compliment, it feels weird to hear and I almost feel awkward when someone says something nice, I hate it. Even physically I can't explain it but it makes my skin crawl. In my head I'm screaming to that person 'what your saying isn't true' or 'that's not how I feel or see it, so it cannot be the case'. If my family or a friend compliment me I can just about manage a smile or I'll get nervous and say something sarcastic or even worse argue why their compliment is not sure about me (in a polite as possible way of course, wouldn't want to make someone angry or have to stick up for my opinion). If its from a guy I'll just do the whole ' I don't really think I'm pretty etc. I don't get it blah blah blah' all the while not I don't really think I'm ugly and no one has ever said I'm ugly apart from in my childhood. So day to day I don't know why I don't like my appearance or how I look. In Short I don't like compliments!?

In my opinion, I think I do it, and maybe HPD's do it because deep down you know how or who you want to be or who you really are. A little part of you does accept the compliment to be true yet your low self esteem and everything you were taught or led to believe about yourself as a child makes you adamant that your not worthy. Not fact just how I see it.

It's baffling to me that past traumas etc. can do this to the mind but recently I feel I can relate to so many disorders it makes me go crazy sometimes.I guess part of my journey is understanding myself and being clear on what I do and do not suffer from. I did mention in my first post I would delve deeper into my story when I feel more comfortable so sorry if this post sounds confusing. Just thought I'd make myself more aware on here and give some insight.

you may like it when

someone remembers what you said (word to word) a while back and can precisely tell you what you said and when u said it and how u said it. Also details like what you were wearing that day and what time it all happened.

someone watches your behavior over time and tells you in detail how you behave around certain people, what you do to flirt and gain attention, what your body language is like and so on.

my narc used to tell me compliments. things like "you are amazing", "you are special". I knew it was not for me - she just wanted me to compliment her back.

my narc also used to tell me how many strangers on the street gave her eye contact or stopped her for a brief chat because they liked what she was wearing (she dresses very provocatively). She would say things like "Today, when I was on my way to work 8 guys told me how stunning I look" or "Today when I was on my way to work 2 cars pulled over next to me and the driver told me how sexy I looked" Sounds like it is all made up but I know that it is probably close to the truth.

oh and someone you like/idealize agreeing to what you say and saying things in your defence is also a compliment to you, apparently

Maybe it's just because on some level even the person with HPD knows that after this compliment they're going to feel empty again, and need another, and another endlessly, and on some level, realize too that the dependency on compliments to feel good means they still really don't.