are any other hpds like this?

when someone wants some advice from me, trust me, i try my best to give some good advices too... but my brain is not specialized at 'problem solving'. instead it is super- specialized at 'extract nurturance/attention from ppl who care about you even by creating problems'

it's hilarious. when i am single, i have no problem with schoolworks/life etc
but when i am in relationship, i cannot function at all. 'help me ! i am in great problem/crisis!' mode.
it's not conscious/intentional. my brain simply chooses to stop think, funtion,
very annoying,
for example i can't deal with any of my school work unless someone is helping me, and i keep create problems and problems and problems, and low grade, extracting maximum empathy/worry/care/ etc/ from other people around me.

i am not intentional/conscious about that. i don't want to make others to spend energy worrying about me, seriously
it's creepy in that i can't control it and i am not consciously doing it at all.
actually i want to get grades. i want to. but i can't, my brain chooses to get empathy from others than getting good grades. no matter how much i try(i get anti-depressants that'd motivate me to do work, and try any kind of method that'd make me to do works, but fail.)

it was not like this before. gettin super good grades contributed at getting attention...
but now... what...

Not exactly, but I do relate to the feeling that my brain is just not equipped to handle certain things.

yYyYy wrote:it's hilarious. when i am single, i have no problem with schoolworks/life etc
but when i am in relationship, i cannot function at all. 'help me ! i am in great problem/crisis!' mode.

Yep, yep. I've sworn off dating for this very reason. When I really think about it, relationships have brought me nothing but pain and wasted my time. It's time for me to be more productive.

I am starting to realize that I act differently around people when I have attachment relationships with them. Like I don't have problems dealing with strangers... it seems to only be interactions with people that I know well, like co-workers that I work with directly, or close family members, or close friends, that brings out trouble in me. And part of me really respects the unattached drifter lifestyle, and longs for it...

This Fonagy paper http://www.lifespanlearn.org/documents/Fonagy_jmh.pdf on the role of "mentalizing" in BPD touches on how BPD's problems seem exacerbated by attachment relationships (I know we are in HPD forum, not BPD forum, but this still might be insightful.)

For example "Individuals with borderline personality disorder are normal mentalizers except in the context of attachment relationships. In these contexts a number of indications of a failure of
mentalization become apparent... In the face of negative affect individuals with BPD struggle to experience themselves as authors of their actions, leading not only to a sense of temporally diffused identity (Kernberg, 1983), but also to experiences of inauthenticity, incoherence, emptiness and inability to make commitments, disturbances of body image, and gender dysphoria... In such states the patients tend to misread minds, both their own and those of others."

yYyYy

The probable HPD I know is just like this...

For example "Individuals with borderline personality disorder are normal mentalizers except in the context of attachment relationships. In these contexts a number of indications of a failure of
mentalization become apparent... In the face of negative affect individuals with BPD struggle to experience themselves as authors of their actions, leading not only to a sense of temporally diffused identity (Kernberg, 1983), but also to experiences of inauthenticity, incoherence, emptiness and inability to make commitments, disturbances of body image, and gender dysphoria... In such states the patients tend to misread minds, both their own and those of others."

Although she wants to be loved above all else, when love comes close to her it's like she mentally unravels. Then she becomes impatient, irritable, and dissociative, and goes into lapses of singing songs like a little girl. And she gets suspicious and paranoid, yet pugnacious and denying.

ahh Kenberg, I prefer Kohut.