Self pity

I would like to have a debate about this subject.
I know that the title might sound provocative in this setting...i don`t really know what setting to put this question up in?

I put it up in here because i think it has to do with self awareness and that it is closely linked to anxiety and worrying.

I wonder if it has a reason?
Some say that it is a waste of ones time...do you agree about that?

Do you think that self pitying people are whiners?
Or are they people exploring their boundaries?
In the term self pity it is underlined that you are pitying yourself and nobody else is pitying you hence you have a problem that either you or the environment think isn`t worth pitying.
What exactly is self pitying?
Is it whining too much? If it is then why do some people get away with without being called self pitiers and others don`t?
Is self pity a form for grief?

I have met some people that might fall under this category, they are normally people who have had a lot of problems in their life and have found it difficult to fit in.
I think some people feel ashamed for being self pitiers because others can`t seem to reach into them.
How should we deal with self pitiers?

I had a psychologist once who i didn`t like, when i read her journal after i quit the treatment i noticed why...she had written tons about what i was wearing for each treatment, left out important things that had been said and then on top of it had written "and then the patient sobs a little more..." yawn.
I cried at the most twice during a whole year in her care taking.
And it was never waterfalls.
I think she had burned her candle in both ends but hearing this from a care giver really sucked!

She wasn`t showing my problems enough attention so i asked her if she was drawing flowers on her pad.
She kept clutching onto the pad as if she was insecure all the time, and i always felt worse when i left her office.

It's natural for a person to consider their situation. If the situation sucks, I think most people will feel self pity. I go through phases of pretty high self pity. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with most people because it seems like people get offended or angry or they offend me in some way afterwards. "You don't have to work." "I wish I could play video games all day." "But you've been doing so well." "I would love to sleep that much." "Can't you just..." And so forth.

I don't really know how other people should deal with self pity.

The person you were seeing certainly wasn't doing you any good. It's especially horrible to find out that a professional can harbor feelings like that about you. But they are people too. As a person, there is a decent chance that they will be an asshole as well.

Sleepy_Cats wrote:As a person, there is a decent chance that they will be an asshole as well.

I am kissing your feet as we speak......

Sleepy_Cats wrote:I don't feel comfortable talking about it with most people because it seems like people get offended or angry or they offend me in some way afterwards.

Yeah i have been in that same shituasion once..

Feelings can sometimes overload, a nice quiet break can be what we need?

I believe that self pity is a form of acceptance and about forgiving ones self. In self awareness we examine our true nature and true feelings. In doing so, we must learn to accept ourselves, banish harsh self judgements, and rather learn to accept our true selves with compasion, forgiveness and kindness to our self.

Some may interpret this as self pity, but it is a part of the self acceptance process. Particularly for those of us who did not experience kindness, acceptance, compasion, love from others as children.

InvisibleGhost wrote:I believe that self pity is a form of acceptance and about forgiving ones self. In self awareness we examine our true nature and true feelings. In doing so, we must learn to accept ourselves, banish harsh self judgements, and rather learn to accept our true selves with compasion, forgiveness and kindness to our self.

Some may interpret this as self pity, but it is a part of the self acceptance process. Particularly for those of us who did not experience kindness, acceptance, compasion, love from others as children.

Many true words you speak...
I think that its the moment when people don`t understand your feelings that they become self pity, but i also think that people sometimes go over board with their feelings (probably non intentional) because they have so much emotional stress. So self pity could also be translated into emotional stress, and then we are in the whole deal of "emo" which is another way to bully people who have a mental problem.