as the title implies, I'm having problems. And I don't know what to do, so this may end up being a rant:
I've tried treatments/psychologists/etc (3 to be exact) but I don't think I've made any improvements. I was on antianxiety meds for four years but I don't think they helped much, still had panic attacks and the therapist just wanted to pump me with more meds and had no other plans (you can take these meds for the rest of your life if necessary, or we can add more meds...) I don't know, it wasn't working so I left that one. Tried another and it only lasted one visit, got a very negative impression. Tried the third and it lasted a few sessions but, again...because I also have social anxiety that seems to be the only thing the therapists want to focus on, I try to talk about my other, bigger issues and all they want to ask is, so why don't you have any friends? why don't you join a book club, try getting a boyfriend... But I can hardly eat because when I try to swallow I want to gag and I'm so nervous all the time and I don't know what to do and sometimes I feel just crippled...I don't know, that issue just didn't seem to be coming through in the therapy. Plus the whole social anxiety thing means that I don't really like to talk to people, therapists included. So that went rather poorly. I haven't been to one for over a year.
However, since I've been off meds, therapists, etc. things haven't been getting any better. I've been losing weight for the past year and I'm not trying, I think I've lost close to 30 pounds and I'm scaring the hell outta myself. I can't really afford to lose that much but my appetite's wasted, I try to eat and I start feeling sick and nervous so I eat less and less and I turn into a little skeleton. I try to explain this to peopla and they just say, "Eat More!" all you have to do is eat more, get over it...Or change my diet, eat lots of fattening or sugary things so it doesn't matter if I don't eat as much...again, not helpful. I feel tempted to try another psych doctor but I'm afraid to because the last ones have turned-out so poorly. My family doesn't really understand what's going on (you don't need another doctor, you're just a little nervous, you don't need medications and I don't want you on any, they're bad for you, just get over it you'll be fine... then they change the subject) and, well... I have no one to talk to because, well, like I said, I don't have friends. Well, I have one. But I don't talk to her about this, don't want to send this one remaining friend fleeing to the hills from the "scary person" who talks crazy about gagging on food and worrying about nothing...
I have an appointment with a regular (non-head) doctor just to talk about the weight loss, see if it's possible that there's actually something physically wrong (believe me, I'd love that. A real physical cause for the problems would make me so happy because that could be treated relatively easily) but I don't believe they'll find anything. I believe it's all stress, and when that comes out they'll suggest I go to a psych doctor and I don't want it but I don't know what to do...
So, basically...help
What do YOU do in these situations, how do you cope and what have you found that works? I feel like I'm up sh*t creek....
It's helpful to hear from someone who experiences some of the same problems, at least I know you've been there and know how it feels.
This is why I don't enjoy my doctor's visits, every time they swing to the social problems and stay there. Ahh, if only I had a social life I would have no problems at all...theoretically.
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