Question

Sorry in advance, this might go long....

I have been struggling with depression, anxiety off & on my entire life. In the past I have been on Paxil, Prozac & Effexior. I HATE the idea of having to take medicine to cope, so what I have done in the past is take it for a month or so, get off for a couple of years, hit a bad spell & get on something again... The past few months have been the hardest & darkest. I feel like I am constantly picking myself apart. I feel ugly & whenever I look in the mirror all I see ugliness. I am parnoid. When people look at me, I am always wondering if they are judging, if they are thinking I am ugly, etc. etc. I go & get a haircut, to try something different (with hopes it would make me feel better) WRONG, I feel worse & even more ugly. And that is what kills me.... in the past I have had bad haircuts & never stressed. I know hair grows. Why am I letting it get to me so bad now?

In the meantime, my doctor prescribed Effexior I am going to try it again. He also prescribed me with Buspar, which is something I have never tried. Today is day 4 taking both. Also, last night I made a major venture & spoke with a therapist. After many tears & trying to explain my feelings, concerns & worries, she diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder.

Okay, my question is for anyone that has GAD; do you feel you take out your anxieties on an obession? I think I do with my hair. I HATE my hair... I stress about my hair. I worry about it & worry that others are thinking the same thing about it. I know some people clean when they are mad, some people sleep with they are sad, do people with anxieties obesses? For me it is like a viscious cycle. I worry about my looks, so I pick myself apart & find more things to worry about. It is madness!

Rella, to me it sounds like you have OCD. I have the exact same symptoms as you and I have been diagnosed with OCD. Whenever I see someone looking at me, I also think that they're judging me. If i'm in a bad mood when this happens, it can mean that I just put my head down and don't speak to anyone. You might only have to take the medication to assist you or give you a boost so that you can get things back in order. My OCD was cripplingme a few years ago but I took a drug called Lexapro in order to improve things, and Im now off it.