Afraid I'm developing a disorder

Not sure if this is the right forum, forgive me if its not.

I'm 19. I've been pretty normal all my life, a regular childhood, a great family. I've always had a mild case of social anxiety, but nothing extreme or out of the ordinary. But thats not the problem anyway.

Just recently, like within the last month or so, its like something is coming over me, fast. Out of nowhere, I'm starting to freak out and worry about myself.. its hard to describe. It usually happens at night.. Its extremely difficult for me to fall asleep, for several reasons. This is gonna sound ridiculous, but, when I close my eyes, I'm slightly afraid that the next time I open them I won't be able to see. Another reason.. I keep checking my heartbeat to make sure its normal.. like I'm afraid of having a heart attack or something. Which is strange because I'm perfectly healthy, not overweight or anything. And then the last, which is the strangest, I feel that there is some sort of slight pressure in my head, in no particular spot.. it just feels like its full of air or something hah, and it makes me fear that I'm going to lose my sanity, and slip into a demented state of mind and not be able to come back. Or maybe have a seizure, which I've never had before. And it makes me fear that I might hallucinate, which I haven't, and never have. But I'm somewhat afraid that I might, at any second. And everytime I'm almost asleep, its like I feel that pressure and it wakes me up. Its not a painful pressure.. in fact, I think its likely that the 'pressure' is just my imagination. And I keep worrying that I have a brain tumor.

This worrying isn't life altering, I can still function fine at work, at home, with my boyfriend, my family. I just hope this is a weird phase, and I hope it doesnt get worse. Also, its an on and off thing, some nights I'm fine, some I'm not. Nothing even remotely close to this has ever happened to me before.. and I haven't been doing drugs, seriously hah, my life is perfectly fine.. I have no idea why I feel this way.. and I feel like such a moron to be worrying about these completely irrational things.

I haven't told anyone yet, because I'm afraid they will think I'm insane, and I wouldn't blame them hah.

Am I going crazy???

You got the right forum, what you are feeling sounds like anxiety... from what you've described the constant worrying, being afraid to close your eyes because you're afraid you'll be blind.

What brings this on?


You wont hallucinate, you do not have a brain tumor. I worried about that when I was 15 and I went through all the tests etc, and I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 16. I worried about my heart, the change in palpitations... EVERYTHING....

Can you talk to someone?

When did this start?