Eye contact

Hi!
I don't know if I'm posting in the right sub-forum since I'm not sure this has something to do with anxiety, so I'm sorry if I'm creating a new topic in the wrong place.

The thing is I can't seem to be able to maintain eye contact with another person while in a normal conversation. Or during a class when the professor is talking, for example. It's just very difficult for me to look anyone in the eyes. I'm very aware of this fact and want to be able to look people in the eyes and yet I can't change it. I constantly think about it while talking to someone and I know it makes other people uncomfortable or angry; I understand how irritating it must be when I don't look at them and still I can't just look at them like a normal person would, steadily and non-forcefully. It just seems so natural to other people. It's not because I'm not listening or don't want to listen to them, on the contrary.

I'm 23 years old and this has been going on for a couple of years now. Why does this happen? It has gotten to the point where I avoid talking to anyone as much as possible because I feel awful about it.

Hey Lily,

I have been having this problem for my entire life now, and I am 25 years old. I believe that it's due to social anxiety, if even on a small scale. It's also recognised as a symptom of a syndrome known as Asperger's Syndrome (of which I have). Have you ever heard of this?

Hi Chucky, thank you very much for the reply.

I've heard the name Asperger's syndrome but don't really know what it is. I'll go take a look at the forum, thank you for pointing it out .
So you know the cause of it and still have the problem of making eye contact? That's not good news at all. What's weird about it is it seems so easy to not avoid looking at people in the eye and yet I can't do it.
With you is the same thing? And it's with everyone; friends, family, strangers. It's so frustating. And abnormal.
Have you found something that helps?

Lily, when I am with people, what helps is to just occasionally look into their eyes. However, for most of the time, I am looking to the side or just behind them. I don't really regard myself as shy anymore, so, I think it's just habit - I'm not sure though. No matter though, just remember to at least occasionally look into your eyes.

Find anything more related to yourself on Asperger's?

Hi Chucky, thanks for replying once again.
I've read some posts on the Asperger's forum and read the symptons list. I only found some things that I could relate to so I don't think I really have it.

Thank you for the replies and for listening to me whining!

No problem Lily my dear. Take care.

Kevster

Asuka wrote:
It all boils down to self esteem. Try to practise making eye contact alot. Be consciouss of it in social situations until it becomes second nature.

Hi Asuka,
I understood what you said and I do practise and force myself to make eye contact but the thing is I try so hard to keep looking at the person I'm talking to that it becomes weird for the other person. And I notice this on the other person's reaction. So I don't know.
Maybe it's self-esteem but a lot of people have low self esteem and I don't think I've ever met someone that has this annoying defect.
Thanks for the reply!