Fear of commitment...

I saw another thread on this forum which I found via google, and I have a problem similar to it so I thought I'd post this here. Because I really want to get better from this. And I know I can.

I THINK I am suffering from an extreme case of commitment anxiety. I say 'I think', because I'm not sure, obviously.
The reason I'm not sure is this;

I have not been in a serious relationship, ever. I'm 28 years old and never had a girlfriend. Why? Is just never happened, for some reason. I have not had any girl that liked me and wanted to date me, in over 10 years. Even though, I get tons of attention when I go to the supermarket or whatever, or when I'm with friends and there are girls over. In other words, you could easily say I look "decent", but that's as far as my inferiority complex will let me go with that statement. I'm clean, my teeth are white, I work out 3 times a week, psychically there's nothing wrong with me. Luckily I'm not too far gone, so I can still see that.
Another plus is that I'm not shy in the least. I talk about my feelings very easily. Sometimes a little too easy but okay.

So why I'm not sure about me having commitment anxiety...because I have not had a girl coming close to me in a loving way in so long(havent kissed a girl in so long), I don't even remember how it is. So how can I have commitment anxiety when I haven't even had a relationship, or not even the possibility of a relationship?

But the reason I write this today, and made me think I might have commitment anxiety is because I created a profile on Tinder a couple weeks back. I have done this a couple of times but I usually delete my account after a few weeks because I couldn't find anybody, or at least nobody that matched with me. Although...I had some matches but I only liked their profile because they seemed sweet and maybe just to check if they would like me too(after being alone for so long, I could use some matches that show me some girls still like me). But all of them are not my type.
I must also mention that my standards as far as looks go, are ridiculously high. But I cannot help that...if they're not pretty like for example Vanessa Hudgens(who is ridiculously hot) or somebody like that I just don't feel anything and I wont fall in love.
But there are enough girls that are just as pretty out there, but I just dont meet them. But because I;m already 28 and everybody around me has a girlfriend or wife and is having kids etc. It makes me feel alone and I feel forced to find somebody. But everybody knows you cannot force love. But I also dont want to be alone.
Maybe that's why its even harder for me, because I feel that pressure. I'm getting older and chances of me meeting somebody that didn't already have kids or whatever gets smaller every year. I used to think it would happen on its own terms...but until now it didnt, and with every birthday I feel worse.

But about the girl I met on Tinder. We had a pretty good conversation, first time I've had this in a long time(on the internet). She told me exactly the same thing...when I was breaking it off. Not that we were dating or anything, we had not even met eachother yet. I just knew for 2 days(last friday we matched and we talked almost all day yesterday and she asked my phone number at the end of the day, which I gave her) but because I gave her my number and now we were chatting through whatsapp, maybe it felt like it was getting too close for me. I could feel that she was about to ask me out, but I had already realized that I don't find her attractive enough.
First thing is; Like I said I don't feel anything if they're not ridiculously pretty. So there's that.
And secondly, I could give it a try but I would be worried the whole relationship through that I would meet a prettier girl and that I had to hurt her feelings by breaking up.

Hell, I just knew her 2 days, we exchanged maybe a couple of hundred words and I had to drink 2 beers before I had the balls to tell her that she wasn't really my type. Because it sounded stupid too, why would I like her profile and then have deep conversation about relationships etc and then when she asks my number(and I even gave it to her) tell her she isnt my type?

I just feel awful right now. Because I definitely hurt her. And I'm wondering if I made a mistake, but I'm pretty sure I didn't. If I don't feel anything, than there's nothing there right?
Or is it the commitment anxiety? I'm sure about her not being my type though, but still...something says I shouldve given her a chance.

Anybody who can make sense of my post? I'm kind of depressed right now because of this. I wasnt really open for relationships for a long time, and now this is the first time I almost got to dating and this happens...another trauma for me. I'm trying to address this problem right now because I definitely cannot be alone for the rest of my life.

I can 100% relate to this. I'm a 26 year old female and I experience the same issues as you which has led me to believe I'm a lesbian or maybe transgender (I'm obsessing over this, so I also suffer from OCD). I don't know what's wrong with me either.
I don't find a lot of men attractive and when I do, I will almost instantly find something about them that I don't like or talk myself out of it. I have ridiculously high standards as well. It's like I have an image of a person and the guy has to match it 100%. It happened once in 26 years that I felt attracted to a guy.
I also find myself under tremendous pressure because I think I have to find someone now and have kids and I fear I'll be alone forever if this doesn't change.

It would be interesting to look into psychoanalysis a little. My psychologist was able to give me some ideas as to why this might be and it's interesting because it makes me feel less weird. But yeah, it's going to take a while. Commitment anxiety is a good term. I might look into that a little more as well.

I just wanted to reply to say I can relate to what you and the poster above has said so you're not alone. I'm a few years older, female, single and also have ridiculously high standards. I've had a few relationships but all have been fairly short because I always end it after getting this bad gut feeling that they are not right for me, cry a lot and then break up with them. I then get this feeling of relief but then also end up being single and wondering if I'll ever feel happy with anyone.

I also find it hard to find attractive men who are nearby and single and find most men on dating sites just not very attractive. I was really attracted to two men I met, but one ended up being untrustworthy and the other I was certain was gay. All the nice, well-adjusted men did nothing for me at all. It has made me question whether I am gay/bi-sexual/a-sexual/commitment phobic but after years of thinking it through I am still confused about it.

I have diagnoses of OCD and GAD so I think it could be related to that. Or it might just be that we haven't met the right person yet? I'm not sure. People say when you meet the right person you just 'know' and they often seem to really fancy their partner, so I'm hoping one day that will happen to me too (and you guys too!)

Anyway I hope you feel better soon, I think it's a problem lots of people have whether they have anxiety/commitment issues or not. Therapy with a focus on relationships might help?