Probably the wrong topic but...

I just wanted to vent. I am 24 years old and for as long as I can remember I have been so anxious and it is so annoying! I haven't been diagnosed with anything, nobody has even helped or anything. This is me aged FOUR "She tends to lack confidence and unwilling to trust her own judgement , she has developed a very nervous snorting noise whenever attention or pressure is focused upon her. Aged 14, rather shy at times, over quiet, and struggles to make decisions! Ugh! I have always been like this and still like this. What is wrong with me? I have always felt there is something wrong. I live in constant fear of death, I worry about the most ridiculous things! I went on holiday recently and it was full of worries. Would we get there on time? My sis banged her head, is she going to die? Am i going to die? etc. And always around this time of the year I retreat into my room and start on the self hating mood and whatever I have done wrong in life.

Death has always been in my life, my triplet sis died at 5 months, my great grandma died when I was 7, auntie at 12, dad at 15, great grandparents etc

Greenaries wrote:I just wanted to vent. I am 24 years old and for as long as I can remember I have been so anxious and it is so annoying! I haven't been diagnosed with anything, nobody has even helped or anything. This is me aged FOUR "She tends to lack confidence and unwilling to trust her own judgement , she has developed a very nervous snorting noise whenever attention or pressure is focused upon her. Aged 14, rather shy at times, over quiet, and struggles to make decisions! Ugh! I have always been like this and still like this. What is wrong with me? I have always felt there is something wrong. I live in constant fear of death, I worry about the most ridiculous things! I went on holiday recently and it was full of worries. Would we get there on time? My sis banged her head, is she going to die? Am i going to die? etc. And always around this time of the year I retreat into my room and start on the self hating mood and whatever I have done wrong in life.

Death has always been in my life, my triplet sis died at 5 months, my great grandma died when I was 7, auntie at 12, dad at 15, great grandparents etc

It sounds like you have a pretty traumatic history surrounding death, it is no wonder that it makes you anxious.

I think anxiety is one of those things that you need to seek professional help with. My own GAD was unmanageable alone. You can do exposure therapy on your own, but in my case where I am extremely phobic of specific scenarios, it is really out of the question to do these things without some sort of anti-anxiety medicine.

Don't feel ashamed to try to get help. I would recommend visiting a therapist, and also obtaining a prescription for anti-anxiety medication from your primary care doctor. Don't wait as long as I did to get treatment. I waited until after I graduated from college to seek treatment, and that is way too late. Job hunting with severe phobias of driving, filling out forms, and talking on the phone is not a good idea.

Thank you! I am quite ashamed, but I will try! I have a big fear of talking to new people but because i am deaf, and shy I refuse and get other people to talk for me. Quite a lot of my anxiety is related to my deafness even though I was practically born deaf. You would think I would get over it but nope... I haven't. UGH

Greenaries wrote:Thank you! I am quite ashamed, but I will try! I have a big fear of talking to new people but because i am deaf, and shy I refuse and get other people to talk for me. Quite a lot of my anxiety is related to my deafness even though I was practically born deaf. You would think I would get over it but nope... I haven't. UGH

I would definitely see a therapists ASAP if I were you. Do you communicate via sign language? That might be an impediment when seeking a therapist.