I think I really understand your situation. I have felt unaccepted by friends and family, depressed and alone too because of my fetishes (they are actually a little bit similar to yours).
What I don't understand is why you don't have any friends. I understand that you want to be able to share some of your personal life with your friends, because they are, well, your friends

I agree with 'Unimportant', I think there are a lot of women into bdsm that are also fine with some of the things that you want. Maybe that would be something for you?
I see you already have 2 very nice people to talk to if you want, so let me be the 3rd and feel free to send me a message!