Extreme, violent fetishes [TRIGGERING]

(Sorry for my bad English, it's not my first language)

I think I really understand your situation. I have felt unaccepted by friends and family, depressed and alone too because of my fetishes (they are actually a little bit similar to yours).

What I don't understand is why you don't have any friends. I understand that you want to be able to share some of your personal life with your friends, because they are, well, your friends But I don't think there is a need to tell all your friends about your fetishes. I'm sure there are people that would want to be friends with you! You seem like a nice and honest person. I don't see any reason why a fetish would make it hard to be friends with anyone. (Unless talking about your fetishes are a 'must'.)

I agree with 'Unimportant', I think there are a lot of women into bdsm that are also fine with some of the things that you want. Maybe that would be something for you?

I see you already have 2 very nice people to talk to if you want, so let me be the 3rd and feel free to send me a message!