This is more about psychological, verbal and emotional abuse than financial, although there has been that component also. I've recently, 3 weeks ago, had to go 'no contact' with my 40year old son, and of course that means my 3 grandchildren and daughter in law. I got the police involved as he was threatening me, it was not a direct threat on my life but threats non the less, and I rang the police because I wanted it to go on record, that, if something happened to me that they would know who to look for, well, they took it further, issued my son with a temporary restraining order and told me to cease all contact with him and stick to it, and change my phone number, which I did. I've been doing a lot of research, reading, journaling, am on a waiting list for 'cheap' therapy, as I simply cannot afford to pay the exorbitant fees that most therapists charge. I am 67 years old, female, on the pension and work a 3 days a week to supplement it, just to survive, I no longer own my own home and now pay rent. The reason why I'm am writing this post, is because financial abuse of the old and elderly is on the increase as the cost of living continues to rise and offspring want to get their hands on their inheritance prior to the death/s of their parents. This is not the case with me, I have no money left, I cannot imagine what sort of abuse I would be subjected to by my son if I indeed had any money. He bled me dry as it was, and recently, when I had to get the police involved, because his life has spiralled out of control and he was screaming at me to help him, guilt tripping me, scapegoating me, blaming me, manipulating me on and on, (these things are nothing new), I just couldn't understand what he expected me to do, rob a bank. You see, he lives life on the edge, he and his wife & 3 kids, in the last 6 years it's just escalated, the environment is so incredibly toxic, his wife has ADHD, she's been difficult from the start, the kids have ADD & ASD, my son is addicted to weed, (for 20 years), he's tried his absolute best to take care of, and provide for his extremely difficult family, he's cannot sustain a job, is unemployed more than employed, his wife works part time, anyway, really shouldn't go into all the details, suffice to say, it's a terrible environment, he's a completely different person to the son I raised, he never forgave me for his upbringing, his alcoholic father (whom we left 16 years ago) and our involvement in a fundamental religious cult for 12 years (which we left 18 years ago), I have made it up to him over these past 16 years in all ways possible, hence I have no money, and I spent immense amount of time helping them cope with day to day life, (yes, I was an enabler and a co-dependent), he wanted to keep me in a constant state of 'repentance' doing 'penance' (for want of better terms), forever, I owed him big time, this was his weapon and his power. My daughter, on the other hand, was raised in the exact same environment, she's the complete and utter opposite, forgiving, kind, loving, generous, intelligent (although my son is also intelligent and talented), talented, and above all, stable, down to earth, balanced, motivated, organised, etc.
Anyway, what I'm concerned about at present is, since going no contact, that my son will start the smear campaign and rewriting of history, and try to destroy my relationship with my daughter. He's insanely jealous, he's very clever, very manipulative, a compulsive liar, I'm worried, but at the same time I just don't think my daughter would take his word at face value, she's far smarter than that, but, she could just think to herself, well, I just don't want any of this stuff, so, I'll not even bother with my mum, I don't know what to think right now, she's about to go on maternity leave as she's having her first baby in 7 weeks. We, my daughter and I have good relationship, very good, we have boundaries, mainly because she's a very busy young lawyer.
I'm truly sorry this post is so long, I would appreciate some feedback, your thoughts would be greatly appreciated, and if you have got this far in my post, thankyou for reading.