I called a 24 hour hotline today and reported my mother-in-law for elder abuse and neglect towards her mother (my grandmother-in-law).
Over the years that I've been married to my husband, I have been disturbed by the fact that Grandma 'smells'. She won't bath herself and no one cares enough to make her. Even if they did make her I don't think she has the physical strength or mental capacity to do so. They don't clean up the dog feces in the backyard (never have) and then the dogs come in and sleep on grandma's bed and no one changes her sheets. Nor cleans the bathroom, or floors or any other part of that house. I stopped taking my kids over there. I thought they were going to get infected with some kind of Bio-hazard something.
Few years later grandma starts showing signs of dymentia. Forgeting time, friends, family. I was told by others that grandma used to be a social butterfly, and now, how odd they find it that she has no desire to leave the house and lays in bed sometimes for hours or days.
Last year grandma came over for Xmas and had taken her Insilin and not eaten. She went into shock during present opening. Had to call the paramedics. My mother-in-law was scolding her for being so dumb for not eating. The following Easter, she forgot to take her meds. Again got scolded and belittled for doing so.
Grandma's left home alone all day by herself. My mother-in-law works. Now come to find out that my mother-in-law (who is 50 and recently seperated from her husband) is now staying out of the house not only the duration of the time she is at work, but almost every other night staying out till 2am.
Then hear there is no food in the house for her to eat either when she is left alone. Last night I got a phone call from my sister-in-law staing that the phone at the house had been shut off. So now if something happens, grandma has no was to call for help.
Now mind you that between my mother-in-laws earrings from work, and grandma's $900 monthly check, all my mother-in-law has to cover is her $200 car payment, groceries, and the $50 phone bill.
Well needless to say I had it. That was it. I called and reported it. I wish I hadn't of waited this long. Any one of these things alone would be enough to call. And my husband's family (including my husband) just want to stand around and talk about how they think it's awful. They want to talk about the possibilities of danger to grandma. They want to talk about how something should be done. But they do nothing. And I did. And now they're all pissed at me. I know I did the right thing. And that's what I told them. But I still feel....I don't know.....like I betrayed them I guess.