A really odd issue *trigger warning*

*Trigger warning- talk of ghosts, monsters*

God I hate computers! This will be the third attempt!


I have an odd issue that I can't believe I am going to tell you guys, but who better, right?

I am not afraid of the dark, just the things in it. I was raised to believe in ghosts. I have seen them all of my life. I don't know if these things are ghosts, projections or hallucinations. I have lived in my current house for over a year and saw someone in my dining room looking out the window several times. So, I turn on the lights when I have to go past that room and avoid looking into that room. I have learned to live with this. But recently a shift has happened and it is rediculous! I leave for work early in the morning while it is still dark. When I get to my garage I turn on the light. I then go to my car, open the door, check the back seat. Then I go back to turn off the light and hit the button to open the garage door (this turns the light back on). Then I have to run to my car, jump in, slam the door, check the back seat again, crank the car and back out of the garage quickly and hit the button in my car to shut the door again. Why must I do this? This is the rediculous part! I don't want ZOMBIES to get in the garage!!!!! Stupid, I know. But I can't help it. I know that rationally this is a dumb, dumb, dumb thing, but I can't help it!!!!

We used to have to do that too when we lived in a house and had a garage. We have similar issues in basements. We HAVE to run up the stairs. One of the thoughts that I know we've had about both places is that we have to get away from the monsters.

I know that both of these places are places associated with trauma for us.
Is that possibly the case for you too?

Some of us had odd habits like that, sh*t that they HAVE to do, but the difference is it's not 'cause of zombies or anything like that. Possible creepers in the shadows, the shadows themselves, bugs that aren't there, that type of sh*t, yeah, that can cause a lot of it.

It's a hard habit to break but one of the best things- self-talk and constant, consistent, reminders. Both to yourself inside your head and outloud. Remind yourself to take deep breaths, force yourself to, focus on your muscles- try to relax them every time they tighten up and sh*t. Constant, constant reminders that you're ok, to breathe deep, to relax, that you're safe, etc. Maybe even get a nightlight or something for the garage and maybe even that room or something. And whenever you feel like you NEED to run, FORCE yourself to stop, breathe, maybe even close your eyes, and then take one step at a time. Be patient and sh*t with yourself though- might not be successful the first few times, but keep trying. Consistentcy will help it work.

-KAT

Kat thanks for the advice. I can only say I will try.



As for trauma associated with a garage....I don't know. I didn't have a garage growing up . As for the dark....I don't know. I have only a handful of memories from childhood and each memory is very brief, maybe 30 seconds each. I have been told by a sister that I was never hit, only heard the others being hit. As for SA, I think it happened, have good reason to believe it did, but I don't know. I always knew I didn't remember being a kid and thought I was a forgetful adult.....I am now realizing I don't remember most of being an adult either. Huge....giant....years of gaps. So I don't know much of what could cause any issues.

I hope this doesn't sound too odd, but have you tried reading some children's books that help teach about coping with darkness and fear? Seems reasonable that many people with DID wree traumatized as children and thus did not go through the 'natural' moving into separation and indviduation that helps us move from the fear we have as children into the security and safe feeling....

So even if it does not make something obviously 'click' for you, your subconscious is getting the message of something you may not have had an opporutnity to learn when you needed to...

So...we have to almost relearn the basics.

I'm with Kat. Physical responses can be helped...breathing through your stomach intentionally (when you breath higher in your chest, it can actually increase the fight/flight response, your blood pressure, and your heartrate)

Self talk - there have been no real zombies ever or stupid Yahoo would have had it on their newspage

As far as ghosts. Have you tried anti-hallucinatory medication just to see if it was NOT a brain-chemical thing? If they are not there - What might they represent. What sense do you have when you see them? what does this tell you? Can you chase it down? Like this... Well, my sense is 'fear'...but what, what are you afraid of? (being hurt? being surprised? death itself?) After you pick it apart a little - look at whether there is truth to the thought...or what else it might mean...you may wait til you are with your T if you have one as it seems it might get triggery....

Finally, if you can't shake the feeling they are real, what can you do to find peace in coexistance? Compassion for them if they are 'lost'? Knowledge that as many as you have seen, none have hurt you? *possible relgious trigger* If it is something you practice/believe in; you might pray for their finding their way 'home' or for them to have peace...or take solace in what you know to be true for YOUR spirit/soul* end trigger

I hope some of that helps. I don't think what you said was dumb.... thank you for your transparency and sharing - that was very brave! ((safe hugs and warm thoughts ))

That sounds like pretty normal behavior for a child or, in the case of DID, a child alter who may be communicating those feelings to you.

My children were not abused, but the one who tends to be anxious had periods of high anxiety about certain minor features of our house, and would develop obsessive compulsive ritual behaviors around them. I can see how a child alter could have a similar influence in an adult. In fact, I may have one of these: from my Alter 4 I experience a great deal of anxiety about a certain topic. I don't know if there is a reality basis for this anxiety. I don't know if she knows something I don't know....

Littlereddogtoo- this got me to thinking more about my fears. I run out of rooms sometimes and have a. Fear of open closets!

Kat- I used your advice this morning and managed to push through. I kept reminding myself about the impossibility of it all.....breathed slowly....then realized they would take a few minutes to realize someone was opening doors, so I had to hurry up and close the garage before they got there. A little progress...but not much. Suppose some is better than none.

Hope- I never thought about having to teach the littlest! Good idea! And I have no therapist....maybe soon??? So, no antihallucinagenics. Not that I do it that often. Also, google "man eats face in Miami".
There have been more cases in the last year.... I think about a dozen.

Una+- thanks for the help on the other thing. And I guess it makes sense that it would be a child alter. I talk to "the others" every night when I am trying to go to sleep. I have been trying to reach my childhood "imaginary friend" lately, thinking she could've been an alter. Her name is Belty (my sister pointed out the obvious connection belt/belty a couple of months ago). Its possible I have reached her and didn't know it!

Thanks a lot guys!

Crawling is still moving forward. Good to hear there was some progress.

Hear about the man eating the face thing, and read about other cases. Know what I think? I think I'm going to be that guy from the movie Zombieland (blanked on his name), the bad@$$ who's obsessed with twinkies. That's what you should think. F*#k, even prepare a survival kit and sh*t, help yourself feel prepared. That way you can walk out and be like "F*#K YOU ZOMBIES, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU STAY DEAD!" Be that one survivor in the horror movies, be that bad@$$. That way you can one day walk out into your garage and know that you'll be that one who makes it.

How I see it- we've seen so many f*#king horror movies, we're ready for anyf*#kinthing. No way we're going to be the victims of any f*#king cliches.

-KAT

A setback! I dreamed of zombies all night long. Then when I left the house this morning I was sure I turned the garage light off. I was informed later by my H that not only did I leave the light on, I also left the FLOOD LIGHTS on! I don't even know where that switch is and there was no light when I left! I blamed the " house ghost" my H says she doesn't exist because he hasn't seen her. Frustrated!

Hi, I'm new here so hope you don't mind me jumping in. Firstly I want to say I'm sorry you had scary dreams which are horrible. But I also want to say I really really relate to what you're saying regarding ghosts. There is a part of me that is absolutely obsessed with ghosts (not implying your obsessed btw) and is terrified of the dark and ghosts and things though still insists on watching programmes about them as although it's scary there is also some comfort found there and a deep need for a connection with the 'other side'. (I know this might be slightly different to you as I don't know whether you take an active interest outside of your experiences which for the most part sound unwelcome.) Interestingly my aunt believes in them too (as well as fairies and elves etc) and once while staying in her very old farmhouse and alone one night I heard footsteps up the stairs. I wasn't scared as I just assumed someone had come in the back door but when I checked there was no one upstairs or cars parked in the yard or anyone elsewhere on the farm and when I told my aunt she just said 'oh yes, that happens all the time'. I don't know how this helps as such except to know that I certainly in no way think it's odd at all. I have also read many many times how those who have experienced trauma in childhood have more paranormal experiences on average than those who don't (my aunt was also abused in childhood). Whether these are genuine paranormal experiences or the way the child's brain is trying to cope and make sense of a senseless world I can't be sure. I'm not sure what I can give in way of practical suggestions as really I'm in a similar situation and when that part is afraid she is convinced there are ghosts there though I try to tell her that if they are there they are probably friendly as she has never actually been hurt by one and they might just like to know she's there for some company which eases things a little.
1+?????