Evil angel

One of my alter egos, who claims to be an angel but is a practicing Satanist, has threatened to kill me if I don't submit to a rigorous training regimen, which he claims will make me "god-like."

I can't tell if this is actually for my benefit, or just for his own ego. I can see the benefits of following him, but I don't like being forced into it.

Everyone I go to for help is clueless about how to deal with it. They keep prescribing drugs, but they don't work, and the angel has ODed a couple of times to gain control over me. I'm currently taking Seroquel and following the regimen to the best of my ability, but I don't know what the future will hold.

How can this angel/person be reached? I think he is trying to compensate for missed opportunities in our past, but he's going too far.

I would talk to a therapist or something, but I'd probably just be committed again, and the angel may try to kill me again.

Wow, does no one believe in therapy where you're at? Or DID for that matter? Sh*t. There's more to solving a problem than f*#king drugs.

Have you tried talking to him? Either inside your mind or outloud? Have you tried writing to him and seeing if he writes back? Have you tried calling him out, telling him that you think he's trying to compensate for sh*t and over doing it? (Be careful 'bout doing that sh*t though).

As for the threat on your life, I'd be careful if I were you. Does he understand that if he kills you, he kills himself? I'd definitely look into getting help, but I'd make sure the person was familiar with dissociative disorders and I'd let them know about your not wanting to be committed upfront. You could even have them sign an agreement that says they won't commit you if you want.

If nothing else, if I were you, I'd f*#king fight this will everything I had. I'd fight any time he tried to take control, I'd ignore whatever he said to me, I'd fight and argue whatever he said to me, I'd fight it all. But that's me- only you can make the call of what you think will work for you.

Keep yourself safe any way possible. Maybe hide the drugs if you can, lock away or get rid of sharp objects (don't care if they're "necessary" for everyday life, your life's at stake), have hotline numbers you can call if you feel him close, anything you can think of. And of course, you're always welcome here.

-KAT

I agree with Kat about removing any harmful objects; weapons, kitchen knives, etc. Also about communication. First and foremost, there needs to be an understanding that the body you are recognized as (the host/name most know you as) is understood to be a certain 'person'. Thus you are expected to do things a certain way to be productive in life (hold a job, obey the law, etc...) Therefore, anything that is done (by whoever does it) will affect you as a whole. And so, if E.A does something outwardly to others or to your body, there will be a likely chance of consequences.

Perhaps E.A doesn't care if you get committed or even dead....but the fact is, he wants something. He needs something. I am not sure what this regimen is...exercise, spiritual practice, etc...but really - none of it will be productive without the system (meaning you, he, and whoever else might make up who you are) is in agreement. Threats, manipulations...these things will not get any of you what you want in the long run.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. And negotiate where you can. Is what he is suggesting going to be the better of you as a whole? You mention you see some benefit...what are they? He wants you to be god-like...why is this? Many alters have been created because they/the host/whoever....has had their power, their will, their rights..taken from them. But in regaining our own power, confidence, self-reliance, etc...needs to be done so in a healthy way. Power through intimidation and fear may have been what caused EA to be created in the first place. It is not his right to perpetuate that by threatening you.

That was a very strong statement...but this comes from a humble spirit who wants BOTH of you to have happiness and peace...and there are ways to get that without force. You strongest power will come when you accept that you are both important. *religious trigger* The satanists i have met (only 2...) still knew parts of the Bible...and there is a part in there that says A house divided against itself cannot stand. I hope that you and EA can open up some dialogue so that whatever you decide is something you both want and agree upon.