Child of DID parent + memory recovery *TW-memories*

Hello, I'm new here and not sure whether this general board is the best place to post.
I'm a 33 year old child of a single mom who had DID until I was in my teens, when she integrated. I am currently realizing the extent that her dependance on me through her abuse, PTSD, and DID impacted my life. A lot is coming up for me these days.

For now, I have two questions for you all:

1) I wonder if any of you know of a place where other children of DID parents can share questions and experiences, or if you know of any research that has happened on the subject recently.

2) My most troubling question now is about my own memory. I don't remember my childhood much at all. As I understand is common with DID, my mom didn't remember her childhood either. Until she did one day, and then her life blew up. I happened to be there during that first memory, but that's another story. Given this model, I can't stop wondering if I've blocked out some trauma of my own. At the same time, I think the tendancy toward dissociation can be inherited (either learned or biologically, I don't know), and I'm afraid of inventing a terror that didn't exist. I know that memory recovery is controversial, but I wonder if any of you would weigh in with your opinions about the value of digging for memories.

Thanks for all of the sharing you do here.

I don't have DID, but I actually repressed some of my own memories. So I hope that does give you some hope that you may not have DID.

And unfortunately, the only information I found about adult Children with a parent who has DID were these:

http://dissociationthoughts.blogspot.co ... pddid.html

http://www.freewebs.com/littlebitofthis ... %20DID.htm

There really doesn't seem to be a support group. Although, you are not alone in this.

I wish you much luck.

Thanks Anasui, I'll check those out!

I don't have any question that I have DID, just repressed memories--maybe like you. I'd really like to remember my life! More importantly, I wonder if some of my behaviors now are related to trauma that I experienced but can't heal from because I don't remember. I've been thinking about seeing a hypnotist or something to try and dig for them...but it takes no time to find a whole lot of people out there who warn about false, implanted memories and quackery.

I should clarify that while I have complicated feelings about my childhood and mom (like most folks do) I also have a lot of love, respect, admiration, and gratitude for her and am not interested in trashing her DID diagnosis or the validity of her experience.

I can understand where you're coming from, although, I still, at times have very mixed feelings about if I ever want to know all of my repressed memories or not. Maybe it's because when I think I've got all of them, my mind will go and throw me an other memory and I'll be like "WTF scumbag brain, wtf!?". I've decided that I will just let it flow. If I remember, I remember. If not, the no worries. I'm going to let my subconscious decide when I should get the memory.

*Trigger Warning*
My mom, as much as I love her, she had borderline tendencies. She was never diagnosed with it, but she was basically with one foot in the door, and one foot out. It was very hard living with her. If I did something wrong, she would snap and either beat me, or threaten me with knives. I remember one time, when I was little, my sister accidentally hit my mom on the face while they were playing and my mom went crazy and started beating my sister on the head. My sister was like 5 at the time, and I remember that my sister had a black eye and a scratch across her face. My mom told the teachers that we both got into a fight and she pulled us apart. An other tie, I remember I was talking to my mom while she was doing laundry and out of nowhere, she smashed a plastic crayon box across my face.
*end trigger warning*

I think what you are going through might be normal. For a child to go through difficult situations and behave more than a child, it would be traumatic, in a sense. I wouldn't be surprised if your mind just "forgot" difficulties you faced because they were way above your head and above what you could handle at that time.