how do you want your post answered?

Recently, the T I have been going to said be careful what I say when I am with my son or an alter as they can be highly suggestable as a nearly 'hypnotic' state. That kind of scared me.

See - when I feel lost I want any/all ideas from others because I will sort out what feels 'right' from what doesn't. Thus, I take liberties to try to help others problem solve in the way I would want others to speak to me. But now I am beginning to fear that anything I might 'suggest' is inappropriate for me to do, or even worse - possibly hurting/triggering someone who may be vulnerable with ideas they might not otherwise have and might make things worse (or push the system too fast).

Knowing I'm a relatively active poster here - how do YOU wish your postings were answered? Probing questions more than unsubstantiated 'ideas'? Just support that you have been heard?

Side note: I went to an Al-anon meeting once and people just spoke and no one commented, offered support, or really acknowledged they said anything. One person speaking said "I feel ignored by the alcoholic in my life" and they sat back down..ignored. They were not validated. The next speaker did not mention how they battled that feeling. I'm not sure what the person got out of just making this statment and leaving without a word of comfort, support, or suggestion. I still just shake my head...but perhaps I missed something. And I don't want to miss something here. I value each and every one of you & sure don't want to hurt anyone with 'good intentions'.

That's interesting. I wonder what the T meant by 'suggestible'. Did s/he explain any further? Personally, I know I've always had a tendency to be swayed by other people's opinions. When it comes to answers on here, though, I think all that matters is the person has read what I've written and answers in a way they believe will be helpful. The worst thing is posting and getting no replies (which rarely happens on here). I think you're right that just not being acknowledged would be the least helpful thing.

I suppose if you're dealing with child parts, they could be 'suggestible' in the sense that children tend to take things literally, especially from an adult. If you're talking to children you tend to watch what you say more than you would with adults for that reason. On here, though, even if there may be child parts reading, I think it's safe to assume you're dealing with adults who can pick through replies and take what's helpful. So to answer your question: any blimmin' way you want (for me personally, anyway!).

Well that sounds like ######6 bogus, if you ask me. We're not any more suggestible than anyone else or at least not anyone else who's not traumatized.I can't say that it's not like that for someone else, but for us? no.. So eh - reply in any which way you want to any and all of us anyway. I can say we'll for sure be alright with that.

- Fighter (for the whole system)

I would certainly question this. I have read many of your posts, and they are all extremely helpful. I think I am the same way. I feel most validated and helped when someone poses reasons/suggestions/commentary. Being told that I've been heard, does feel good as well, but when someone has taken the time to think about your problem, it's really touching.

Owleyes wrote: I think it's safe to assume you're dealing with adults who can pick through replies and take what's helpful.

I agree. Usually, if people on here are offended by something someone said, they point it out. So I'd be happy if you continued to answer posts how you always have.

I feel I can safely speak for most people on the forum when I say: we know you would never intentionally say anything wrong. We trust you and respect your opinions, advice and comments. Keep doing what you've been doing.

D

The T may be concerned about asking leading questions. These are assumed to potentially contribute to iatrogenic (caused by treatment) elaboration of DID symptoms. In many situations of mass hysteria this is a concern. Were the widespread claims of extraordinary ritual satanic abuse in the 1990's due to fearful psychotherapists asking leading questions? Or due to fearful psychotherapy clients infecting each other through peer support groups?

As a rule, when any remark by the T causes me concern I ask the T for further explanation. Usually it takes me a week or two to mull over the remark and identify my concern well enough to verbalize it.

As long as it is truthfull, from the heart & delivered gently, I can appreciate anybody's contribution. It is quite possible that anyone posting can strike a nerve or trigger other folks in some way & the response can form out from an un-calm place where the answer would be based more on emotions from past experiences instead of being from the hear & now. Lot's of times I'll read a post & want to respond but know that I am in a place of un-rest, so I decline, thinking I'll get to it later but I never do because this forum is ever so active...

Anyway, if genuinely felt, words will be kindly received. That's what I think...Sotrsab.

Thanks for the responses! I think there is a very good point made about getting more clarification about the concept of suggestible and what that means or could look like. When I had thought 'what if I ask if someone has...say ... eyes...will that change them (before they are uncovered) from being blind like some of them are....and Alex assures me I have no influence this way. However, it has been uncanny how some of them will bring up things others have heard in passing..but as I type that, it occurs to me that just because I thought they were more isolated (it has been explained to me that they were all kind of compartmentalized - like 'being on shelves...we never knew who was above or below us') and so it surprised me when someone would know something else without seeming to be conscious of it.

Anyway...glad for all the kind words and responses. Thanks!