For the littles

Evan it is harder for you to just jump in and play with other kids when your body is an adult male. I'm sorry. It is easier for us because 1) our body is female and 2) we have kids so it just looks like mommy play.

Bobby our bigs used to do a lot of "Yoga with Adriene" her stuff is all over youtube and her work outs can be hard, or not depend on what you want and she is not cheesy. and I think she is funny!! and she has a dog that sometimes comes in to her videos!

My T is a good T I think i just think we had a problem. I don't know why I am mad or what is wrong but I never want to see her again. I used to talk to her and she was nice. Then sometime last year I felt she was too focused on - i want to say the littles NOT being in the system - but that is not true at all. Maybe it is how i feel but I not it is not correct. I dontknow. and then after the whole thing in the fall i just really don't ever want to see her again. But somehow I am old enough to know that it is probably my work that I have to do - I am mostly 12 but feel more like 8 lately.

There is a HUGE snowstorm here today - they are telling people to stay home I LOVE IT!!

lizzy

hi
i dont have a lot of time to write because Asti wants to do things in the kitchen so i can have peperoni pizza soon.
Asti does yoga with adriane too!! she sometimes does funny things like wiggly fingers and snowflakes falling and i love her dog so much. she has a cozy yoga video where the dog thinks its his cozy blaneket
do you sometimes not want to hear other littles? because they are loud and make you feel angry and because they are silly?

Hi Lizzy and Bobby and Maya!

Lizzy is right. Iain says we can't play with other kids because we look like a big man so it would not be nice for them it would be scary for them and we don't want to be scary. Or get in trouble.

Yea! Lizzy gets snow! And Maya gets pizza. I hope Bobby gets something good too.

I'm going to ask if we can do yoga with Adrienne too. Right now we are running errands.

Lizzy I think you are being smart! Sometimes Sean gets mad at our T because he gets mad at everybody. Then it feels scary to go to T even though she's nice. It's super confusing.

I am so glad you are my friends. Got to go now and get errands done.

Evan

Hi Evan and Maya and Lizzy!

A huge snowstorm sounds like so much fun, Lizzy! I know how it is to feel different ages. I used to be mostly 4, but now I think I am mostly 7 or 8. Meredith thinks that she goes between 6 and 12. Sometimes I worry that our T will forget that me and the other littles aren't here and that he will only want to talk to the grownups, but I think it's because sometimes I think that I shouldn't be around and that everyone else would like it better if I wasn't. But most of the time I know that's not true.

Yay-pizza for Maya! Homemade pizza is the best!! Do you mean not wanting to hear outside kids playing? Because I get angry and sad sometimes when I see them with their mommies and daddies and a lot of the really little ones in here also feel that way. But mostly I just wish I could play with them also.

Evan, I hope the errands aren't too boring. Usually we get to buy a little toy or a treat if we have to do too many boring errands. Or we get promised that we will do something fun as soon as we get home.

We're on a weekend trip right now, so I'm in a hotel. We had to ask different people where to find things this morning and everyone we talked to was really nice and friendly, and even though we were just on the treadmill for a long time, I got to listen to my book while we did that and it's a cool adventure story where the kids always foil the plans of the bad guys, and still always have time for dinner, and tea, and supper.

Bobby
P.S. Can you tell I have lots of time today to be on the computer? There's nothing I have to do until later. Yay!

Hi Bobby,

I like errands when I get to stay inside and watch. We just had a really big Cowboy omelet for lunch with chili and peppers and stuff inside. It was super yummy! Now we get to buy a new sweatshirt. I want a green one and Cody wants a red one and Iain wants a black one (yuck!) and Colin wants the camo one (which is pretty ok because it's kind of green). Host says 'Only 1 sweatshirt'.

Sometimes I need to email our T and ask her if she stills wants to see me. She's nice and always says Yes but I get scared. I'm not used to adults who care about me and want to see me. But she always does.

A weekend trip at the hotel sounds nice! We go out of town for work sometimes and stay at hotels. I get nervous at airports but I like hotel rooms and Host always makes sure I have some toys to play with.

You are inside an adult lady right? Is that nice? I think it might be nice to have your host be kind of like a really sweet mom. But maybe it's weird that she's a girl. I don't know. Our host is an adult man who's pretty ok (after a lot of therapy) but maybe a lady host would be better.

Your friend,

Evan

Hi Evan,

This is Meredith!! What color sweatshirt did you get? I would have voted for green also, especially if it was sort of an olive green (like on a camo one) because that kind of matches my eyes!

Our system is set up kind of differently from yours, I think, so Bobby couldn't figure out how to answer your question. And I don't completely understand how it works either, but I think there are like 3 or 4 of us who kind of mix and match being in the front. None of us are an "adult lady," or would call ourselves that, although I guess we look that way from the outside. And I know Bobby doesn't like that we can't pretend to be a boy anymore like we used to do when we were 10. No one thinks of themselves as a "really sweet mom" either. I do a lot of the mommy stuff, even though I'm like 12 or younger, and Darren helps with that also, and Bobby used to play with the kids a lot. And there's Devin and Sasha who are like 14-15 and 20, and they do some stuff also--but not mommy stuff, I don't think. I don't exactly know who handles work, either--maybe just the surface one with some of us helping?

Also, how we're set up seems to have changed a lot in the past year and a half, with some of us who were helping but hiding at the same time being able to be out front more and not needing the one on the surface to hide us so much, because we started not to feel as weird and scared to be seen. And she saw that we weren't so weird and that people like us (especially me and Sasha!). Anyway... I don't know how it would be for you if your host was a mom. It's probably nice to have a female therapist who can be a little bit like a mommy, right?

Meredith
P.S. I would play with you and be your pretend mom if I could!

I ordered a bunch of disney princess stickers and can't wait until they get here!
- Little

Hi Meredith, Thanks for answering. We don't know how other systems do it very much and were just asking. We didn't get a sweatshirt because there was a leak in the faucet and Colin had to fix it so we ran out of time for shopping.

Hi Little, Stickers are cool!

Hi Bobby, Did you have a fun weekend at the hotel?

Evan

Hi Evan,

The hotel was cool, but I didn't get to spend time at the arcade like I thought I was going to. It was a very big arcade and had nice looking prizes and lots of different games. We're going to see if there is an arcade somewhere around where we live because I really like them and I'm a champion at Whack-A-Mole!

We flew back home alone but I don't mind airports and I think Darren usually handles everything about them and he's good at it. But even though there are a lot of treats we could buy there, we usually only get boring chicken salads to eat.

We went out to see a late movie last night to feel better so I got to have buttered popcorn again, and it was a movie about kids whose grownups don't take very good care of them but they find things to do anyway that are fun. I liked it, but not the ending.

Today we're going to try to get a lot of things done, but I'll get to listen to my book a lot, so that's good.

Bobby

Disney stickers? Fun! We love Disney, especially Elena of Avalor!