Your "normal" level of dissociation?

What level of dissociation do you feel as a constant? 0 being none, 10 being constant switching.

I run about a minimum of 3..I feel like everything never really feels real, like i never quite feel connected. It's noticeable but isn't distressing at this level. My body doesn't feel like mine, my image in a mirror looks off. There are moments of watching myself, but it goes away once I recognize it if we're at a level 3. There are moments when I feel the presence of another- if I feel the presence whilst talking with someone, I will lose bits of the conversation.

But if anything too overwhelming occurs we immediately go to 10.

After a crisis period of flashbacks it goes from 10 and it decreases to about a 7 for a few days (Constantly spaced out, if we aren't making a constant effort to stay focused in there is constant time loss).

Wow. Great question. Difficult, though, for me to answer. I dunno my 'constant #'. B4 my T got me to agree to video tape my sessions I would swear up & down that I only switched under extreme stress. SO not true. Watching the video tapes, I can clearly see switching all throughout the session. So, B4 the videos, I might have given myself a 3 because (speaking just for me)there was an awful lot of switching going on that I was clueless to. Now, I can better understand why I can almost never remember anything concrete. Also a 3 bc like you I experience the symptoms you describe but have learned to tolerate them so they they don't interfere with my life. However, having the experience of watching my system operate while in sessions & interact w/ my T, I would have to say that my number is much higher, maybe a 7, at least on therapy days & maybe a 5 on non-therapy days. I find a 3 or less for me these days only on extremely rare occassions. I am almost never clear headed and 'in the moment' for any length of time. I reserve the number 10 for total chaos which has only happened twice that I'm aware of. I refer to these moments as 'rapid-fire' switching where all of Hell breaks loose & I'm only aware after the fact if outside others are brave enough to tell me.

As of now, perhaps a 3 as well. Due it to a mild duality feeling(me, with two others more forward), and a bit disconnected to my body. Mild DR/intrusive thoughts. Slight fogginess.

I was maybe more of a 1 or 2 earlier, which was so disconcerting. I felt very much in my body, thoughts very clear, with little to no intrusive thoughts or split feelings.

For the past year though, I was mostly in 5 to 10. Ten being completly DP, where I was a shadow to my body(every movement took extra effort as I would have to contentiously think to stay in body.) It was fun, but irritating when I would roll over to fall asleep but still facing up, with my body facing a different direction. Ten would also be when I was DR to where the world seemed distant, and unreal, walking took extra effort as it just seemed so thick, like a fog. My internal world was also more clear, at a ten, and switching more evident.

At 5, we are more co-con, sometimes foggy, unreal, but no biggie. I can really tell who is thinking/speaking, and clearly hear them talk(inside). It's more of a conference room inside rather than mild who's that.

Wow, this is a good question and kind of hard to pinpoint too. I think for me I'm normally at like a 3-4, depending on different factors...how much sleep I get or whatever. When I am triggered the dissociation is most definetley a 10 on the uncomfortable scale. I feel like I don't know where I am or who the people around me are. On "normal" days I get this vague sense I don't know who I am or who anyone is but it's not to the point where I can't control it somehow. When I'm triggered however the feelings are much more intense and scary. All I can do sometimes is cry because I'm afraid I'm going crazy but I always come back one way or another so the episodes aren't AS terrifying as they used to be but still pretty damn disturbing. I am hoping that as therapy progresses that the dissociation will go away or be under control and some of the DP/DR and so forth will dissipate as well. One can only hope

I would say 3 normally, but according to my T when we get to her office we switch a lot.

When we were in the hospital earlier this summer, we had the interesting experience of being grounded enough that we could actually feel the ground beneath our feet instead of just feeling like a little floating boat. That makes me think that 3 might not be accurate but I don't know what number we should give ourself.

Sotrsab wrote: I am almost never clear headed and 'in the moment' for any length of time.

Yeah same here. When I realize I'm in the moment, the feeling immediately goes away. It's completely opposite of what I'd like! I wish I could notice I'm dissociated and immediately become in the moment...someday perhaps?

Sotrsab wrote:As of now, perhaps a 3 as well. Due it to a mild duality feeling(me, with two others more forward), and a bit disconnected to my body. Mild DR/intrusive thoughts. Slight fogginess.

That's about a 3 me me too. Those intrusive thoughts used to make me think I was psychotic because they can get pretty gruesome sometimes. But of course they get gruesome! There are hateful parts that have yet to be soothed or understood.

brandonsmom777 wrote:All I can do sometimes is cry because I'm afraid I'm going crazy but I always come back one way or another so the episodes aren't AS terrifying as they used to be but still pretty damn disturbing.

Sorry to hear that...Even though it feels like it'll never get better, it most assuredly will!