Not knowing what to do

Whenever I have "free time", I never know what to do. It's always a huge problem that stresses me out because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I have no hobbies, and I desperatley need something to fill in my time. All I do is clean and write in my journal. I can't watch tv, I can't play xbox, I can't chill out and do nothing. And I'm sick of it. I want to spend time doing something fun or something that just passes time.

Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe I need to use that time to do the things the alters would like to do. Maybe I should look for inside help because me-the host-has nothing of interest that I'll do.

I would love to see what ideas other people come up with. This is something that I recently talked about with a group of friends, so I will try to list some of the things that we came up with together. 1) Watching a movie cuddled on a couch with a sweetie or child, 2) reading a really absorbing book (I have used that one a lot myself lately), 3) listening to music, 4) playing an instrument, 5) knitting, 6) crocheting, 7) quilting (mine, but I haven't had the brain power to be able to concentrate sufficiently lately), exercising, 9) taking the dog for a walk, 10) playing a game of some sort.

I actually think that asking inside is a great idea for all sorts of reasons. There was a period when I would regularly use art supplies and play with legos. Right now my kids want to play with clay and I only know of one local source with odd hours, and I have had trouble remembering to go and get some during the proper hours. I should program a reminder into my phone, come to think of it. I also need to get some tempera paint, because they like to get messy with paint and I haven't let them do it in too long.

Thank you for mentioning the idea of asking inside for ideas! I got way over stimulated with some memory work that I was doing and am currently doing what I can to get my entire system as safe and comfortable as possible. I had forgotten about including things that the kids like.

So it's not just me then? That's nice to know. I can't handle working so I stay at home and clean all day. I ran into the problem today where I cleaned everything and then had nothing to do. It's a major trigger of mine. I don't know why.

But, every time I don't have any chores to do, I freak out. It's so stupid because I could use that time to relax but instead I just work myself up into a mess.

I get frusterated at myself because there is NO PROBLEM, yet I can't stand it.

I feel like such a freak.

Not only is it not just you, but this group of friends is really quite "normal" and they have trouble figuring out what to do with their free time. The one thing that is in common here is that all of us feel isolated in our respective communities for one reason or another. It would be so much easier if we had people to just hang out with on a regular basis.

Is it the sitting still that is an issue for you? Needing to remain moving so you don't think about therapy related issues? Or maybe the need to feel that you have a "purpose"?

I need to feel like I have a purpose. Sitting still makes me think I'm worthless and useless and I start beating myself up over it. I feel like if I'm not doing something productive, then I'm a big waist of time.

But, I feel so worn out from all the "doing" that all I want to do in my free time is sleep. And it doesn't help that I don't sleep well....constant nightmares and not falling all the way asleep.

I need to seriously get a hobby. My boyfriend is hanging out with his friend right now and I'm just freaking out. I need something to do but everything is done and I'm just sitting here by myself doing nothing but worring that I'm worthless and whatnot.

I wish there was an escape.

So have you asked inside what they would like to do?

I got into a fight with my fiance unfortunatley and it stopped me from worrying about what I was supposed to be doing.

So sorry! That is not what I was hoping for...

You could get from your T's office, dentist, the local library, wherever, outdated magazines that will otherwise be thrown away. Get clip happy & make collages on any subject you could dream up. I actually made a book once for therapy. Turned out pretty cool. You can also get creative with making greeting cards. Homemade stuff is generally well recieved (& fun to do).

I know what you mean. There is a section on the book I'm readin at the moment about managing free time between alters. It is about seeing if there is any hobby anyone would like to take up. Or any crafts etc. With me, I don't know what to do because I am incapable of self soothing (so putting on a film and curling up, or going for a gentle walk to meditate or whatever), there is a huge blck there s the majrity of the time I am sittin doing nthing. Opposite end of the spectrum to you but still I can relate to the free time issue.

Bourbon