The person that did the stuff on me was a close relative who is trained in therapy techniques... So there was no healing type of element as it was being used specifically to bury deeper some of my trauma.
It has been really really really hard for me to start to be trusting of my therapist for fear that he would try to use therapy techniques on me in a negative way. Even him suggesting I try to get into a state of deep relaxation had me flying into a panic. I feel stupid at moments like that, that I get so scared of things that should help in therapy. It has taken a lot of trust for me to know that my therapist won't try any techniques on me without asking my permission first. I know I need to talk to him more about the extent of how this relative's actions have effected me, but I haven't had the stamina to consider confronting those triggers enough to begin talking about it with him yet. It is so draining to even think about the subject.Thank you so much for what you wrote here. I can't tell you how much it helped me. I had to have the courage to say no, yet again, to seeing this relative and you post helped give me the courage to continue to do that.lifelongthing wrote:I know I don't know you but I have to say please do keep away. They/that person is obviously very dangerous and you've done a great job of building yourself up and keeping away until now. I have been in that same situation and all I can say is that it gets easier with time. The longer time you stay away the more all alters and you realize a life without it is worth fighting for and it gets easier to stay away even when you feel that you shouldn't. You are all strong and I believe you can fight for yourselves! We're here for you
dividedtruth89, thank you so much for your thoughts. It is tough, you are right. It was really nice to hear from you here as you are a calming presence to me.
Borg, I'm sorry to hear you can relate to it being hard to resist contact from abusers. Thanks for the hugs. Big safe hugs to you too.
tylas, yeah this does need to be worked on. I think they need to tell their story of what happened in order to start to feel safer and more able to get it out rather than holding it inside.
Johnny-Jack, I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with the bad therapist. I'm glad you managed to challenge that and get away. I think it was helpful for me to read about your experience because you found a way to get away from that and start overcoming it and that gives me hope.
boopsy26, I like your idea of looking into EMDR more and the positive aspects of it. I think I would have to do this in a very stable state of mind when the parts that are triggered by it are not around, then we could impart the good knowledge to them gradually to balance out some of the bad maybe. And maybe that would help them be less scared that they would be targeted negatively like that again.
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