Sending embarassing emails to Therapist.

While dissociated, I sent a really long really long email, being mean to my therapist. Basically I called her a nobody.

and I said lots of wierd stuff like she has to keep a secret and stuff and blah blah blah...and really paranoid stuff!

ugh

Has anybody ever been embarassed by doing something they didnt meant to do I wana cry so bad. My therapist will see the email today...and I am so scared, what will she think!


anybody relate? How can you stop from doing embarassing thingsssssssssssss nooooooooooooooooooo

Oh I can relate to the embarrassment!!!! I once sent my therapist a text message detailing all of the violent sexual things I wanted to do to him. Once I discovered it, I really was soooooooooooooooooooo embarrassed to ever set foot in his office again. Let alone look him in the eye.

It's ok that your other parts do things that you find embarrassing, so long as it's only to your therapist. It will mean that your therapist can help that part work through why they feel like that. It will also mean that your therapist will be accepting of you regardless of the embarrassing thing you did, and that feels AMAZING. Then once you realize your therapist will be accepting, it is easier to let the other parts say the things they need to say to heal and you will not feel so embarrassed.

So I'd suggest, don't try to stop the other parts from saying embarrassing things to your therapist. Instead try to talk over with your therapist why it is that you feel embarrassed about what the other part said and talk to your therapist about how it made them feel to receive such a message. I think you will find it turns out for the better.

Been there, done that. Almost every email I write to my T has at least one really bizaare aspect. But usually the whole thing is bizaare.

I try to recant it when I go to session but she's good about it. In my last email I finished up with a P.S. about self harm and why it WASN'T related to sexuality. I told her angrily I had been hurting myself ever since I was a baby, that I scratched my cheek when I came out and still have the scar.

At session I had totally forgotten that part and didn't even notice it when I was discussing the email that she had printed out and given to me. She brought it up and I was all "I'm sorry I know that was a weird comment of course I know that scratching myself when I was a baby couldn't have been self harm." She replied "Yes, but you believed it at the time that you wrote the letter. So I want to explain to you why that wouldn't be self harm."

You're T should validate your feelings and understand that you were in a dissociated state when you wrote them, but hopefully he/she will validate the feelings you had when you wrote the email all the same.

Thank you so much everybody for sharing your experiences! Gosh it gets so crazy sometimes when they do stuff and imlike NO NO NO!

Thats sad about you as a baby scratching your cheek and thinking you SI Im sorry things were so painful for you.


and yeah Im gonna talk this over with therapist. Even though i feel the horrible bug of embarassment creeping up :O sigh sigh sigh!!

Yeah T sent reply saying it was ok.

see T today.

I hope your appointment with your T goes well and that it helps alleviate some of your embarrassment to talk it through.

thanks everybdoy