Worse after dx? *trigger warning*

I know that nothing has really changed, but I feel like I'm having a much more difficult time since receiving my diagnosis. I feel less in control, I have no motivation for anything. I feel like I'm switching more, and having more flashbacks and anxiety.

Even worse, the dx coincided with a generally difficult time in my life. I had just lost my job, run out of money, my car is broken down, my personal relationships are falling apart.

We were fairly high-functioning prior to our dx, but now there's no motivation to get a job, or sometimes to keep living. Everything is falling apart, even as awareness and communication are growing.

Is this common? How can I get past it? I've spent much of the day crying or considering suicide. I'm not going to, don't worry, it's really more of a voice suggesting it.

Anyways, I hope someone can help. I don't know what to do anymore

Yeah, me too, but not since the DX, since the symptoms really became so obvious that I could not ignore them.

I assume I am worse, because I am finally dealing with things instead of an empty host just going about life.

raoul_duke wrote: I feel like I'm having a much more difficult time since receiving my diagnosis. I feel less in control, I have no motivation for anything. I feel like I'm switching more, and having more flashbacks and anxiety.

I got significantly more unstable initially after my diagnosis too, so I'd think that this is not an uncommon experience among people who have received a DID diagnosis. I'm sorry you are struggling much worse at the moment. I had an increase in suicidal tendencies too.

The thing I can tell you is that things will get better. Just keep taking things in little steps, dealing with one little thing at a time. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually it does get a lot better, even though you will still sometimes experience bad times.

I hope I can give you hope when I say that although I initially became destabilized after my DID diagnosis, eventually things got to be better than they ever have been before. It feels completely different than they way I felt before, there is still bad days, but overall it is so much better.

Just try to stick with little steps to keep going and eventually things will start to improve. Hang in there. We will be here to help support you.

Situation normal. Raoul, can you function without a car? If you can, you might just get rid of it. Simplify your life. Save the money that you now spend on registration, insurance, car payments, repairs, fuel, etc., and budget some of that money for taxi cabs and bus passes. Are there farm-to-consumer delivery businesses in your community? Where I live many people get much of their food delivered to their homes and it is far superior to what is on offer in the grocery stores.

Thanks everyone. It's good to know that I'm not just totally losing it. I guess it's to be expected. I'm trying to push through it. It's getting tough, but I'm hanging in there.

Una+ wrote:Situation normal. Raoul, can you function without a car? If you can, you might just get rid of it. Simplify your life. Save the money that you now spend on registration, insurance, car payments, repairs, fuel, etc., and budget some of that money for taxi cabs and bus passes. Are there farm-to-consumer delivery businesses in your community? Where I live many people get much of their food delivered to their homes and it is far superior to what is on offer in the grocery stores.

As I'm currently unemployed, I could theoretically get by without a car, but if I get a job, which I need to do, that may or may not be an option. The other problem with the thought of giving up my car is that it means that I'm stranded in this awful hellhole where I live.

Do you think you could get motivated to move out of that hellhole where you live now?

Una+ wrote:Do you think you could get motivated to move out of that hellhole where you live now?

Yeah, I've been looking at ways to get out. But I don't want to go back home. I'm talking to a few friends in different places too see what options I might have. However I'm currently broke and unemployed, which presents another obstacle.

Also, losing my job meant losing my insurance. My therapist is seeing me pro bono, but I doubt I could get the same elsewhere, so that's another factor I have to consider in leaving here

Una+ wrote:Raoul, can you function without a car? If you can, you might just get rid of it.

Wow, that seems like a super radical idea to someone who lives in Australia. Life wouldn't function here without a car... There's so much distances and urban spread and poor quality public transport... Maybe it is better where Raoul lives though?

Ok so into problem solving mode...

raoul_duke wrote:As I'm currently unemployed

Are you able to work some at the moment? Or are your dissociative problems making it too difficult at the moment? If you have a diagnosis, you may be able to get some government assistance perhaps. I get disability because my DID makes it near impossible for me to function properly in a work environment... Perhaps you could look into options like that? You could probably look into it on the internet too...

If you are able to work, it may be an easier option to look for something. Again, there may be some government support to help you find a job if you have been unemployed for a little while, so look into that. Read the ads in the newspaper and maybe see if there are some things you can apply for. There might also be some of those online job seek websites where you can apply for some stuff over the internet too...

I think you should hang on to your car until you know whether you might need it for a new job or not. Plus if you get some sort of income happening, you may be able to afford to get it fixed and that would lead you to greater freedom and your mental state being improved as a result.

raoul_duke wrote:this awful hellhole where I live

What is wrong with where you live currently?
Can you think what it is you most need in your accommodation for it to be suitable for you? For example, I just recently had to move two weeks ago. My requirements were that it had to be cheap (because on my disability, I can't afford anything much), it had to be for myself only (not sharing, as that is bad for my mental health as everything my housemates do seems to be triggering or skewed in my thoughts negatively in some way), it had to be quiet, and it had to be on a certain side of town that's known for being safe. Other than that, anything goes. So it's in such dodgy condition it's not funny but the water runs and the power points work and it feels like a palace to me because it's quiet and safe. So what do you think you most need out of your accomodation so that you feel ok about it?

Also it might be good to think more about your accomodation situation once you have sorted the job/income situation. One thing at a time. But it doesn't hurt to think about it at the moment so that once you have got the other stuff sorted you can start working on this...

raoul_duke wrote:My therapist is seeing me pro bono

This is very good. I think you should stick with your therapist during this time as your therapist will help give you support to be able to cope with the job and accommodation situations. It's very very very very important to have that support through this time I think.

What about living in your car, with a PO. Box? Campgrounds, AO places, rest/truck stops, for showers/water, although may not be ideal may work.