Therapy Update

We went to our therapy session this evening. Our T wants to do CBP/CPT program for a short term treatment plan for depression and to try to address trauma issues. Also she is setting us up with a social worker to get us same medical care and to find other programs to help us. Just maybe get our SS. In addition to find, maybe, long term treatment for future possible integration of the system. We are not getting our hopes up, are taking a wait and see position. The integration part frightens us it almost like taking steps in the planning of a murder.
We wish we could be positive about this, we so want to it to be true. Still the dark side tells us to look out for the hook and where it is coming from. We know this sounds crazy, we know most would jump for joy. We just can’t bring ourselves to make the leap that this will happen just yet. That our spring is just around the corner, with in eye shot but if we hope too much, too hard it will be taken from us and once again be left with shattered dreams and our hopes dashed on dark rocks of life once again. Should we believe?
We are so afraid not knowing what to do or how to handle this.
Also was a little upset that we had to tell our T that another little female other has showed up and is mute. Not sure how to take this.
Sorry for the babble!
Us

Parts of me are feeling this too, but I keep reminding them that we want to be whole - powerful and strong. At to be the best we can be, we have to get our selves together - be one whole person. All the parts will still be there, but they will not longer be hurt and lonely. They will be as they were meant to be - with you.

I'll wait and see with you and keep my fingers crossed it all goes well !!

It certainly sounds like you have a lot planned to work on in the near future. I think it is good that you have some aims and plans...

I'm not surprised to hear that you are all a little scared of the concept of integration, we would be too if we were considering it seriously. It is a huge step to take.

Why were you upset to tell your T that a little girl who is mute has shown up? Are you worried about her being mute? I think you will all be able to help come up with some creative ideas to help her communicate, so if you have been worried about her being mute, I think you will find that it is more manageable to help her than you are perhaps expecting. We have some mute ones in our system too...

Tylas, Bourbon and Salted lipstick
We are just afraid. We are afraid of the past, present, future and are sick of being afraid all the time. Our Therapist, who is green by any standards, is trying hard to help. We trust her to a point, and feel safe, to some degree, with her. The only real thing that scares us is that she talked of integration and would never say to us that she believes we are competent. She danced on the issue. This is really scary since if she thinks we are out of control she could take the steps to have us locked away.
Salted lipstick
As the core I did not know about the other little girl. I thought I knew all in the system but somehow missed this one. I cannot rule out that she had merged with one of the others and because of therapy has splintered. I cannot say for sure but I do get the feeling that at least some of the others knew but held back this information of this other, aspect, alter and did not let me know. It is a trust issues that secrets cannot and will not be kept within the system from me the core. We will call her Elissa for now which is better than hey little mute girl.
I cannot explain why her presents feels close and with me all the time now.I cannot figure out her role in the system which I think is important.
I/We know we are one big ass basket case.Thanks for listening and your support,you guys gives us the will to at least try and this is a good thing we hope.
Us

Trust is so hard isn't it? It makes me smile, though, that you are still willing to try even though you're so scared. Trying is what keeps us going.

I also have a mute little girl hidden in the dark recesses of my basket case mind. I never show any emotion (tend to be numb 99.9% of the time), but when my T said "you really love her, don't you?" I cried. I cried because it's true. I feel like she is the innocence and potential that I once had. I feel like she is the one who got lost. I dream of holding her and keeping her safe. I don't know if this relates at all to your situation, but this is just my experience.

Best of luck to you, and I hope all these things coming up go very, very well