Getting by, finding the good.

Okay so maybe I'm distracting myself from the feelings that need to be felt. Well, I know this is true. My isolation proves it.

However I feel like I'm starting to "make do" with what I've got. I'm taking each emotion as it comes little things cause me to run off and cry by myself from time to time, which then puts me in a mode where I feel extremely fragile and vulnerable, not just emotionally, but physically. But these are just the cards I've been dealt. And I've got to play my hand.

I have found a good way to politely cope with my dissociation at work. My boss is giving me instructions on something, and I honestly interrupt her and apologize, saying "I'm sorry, something you said caused me to think of something else, and I missed most of what you've been saying." I have told people it's best for them to say my name before addressing me, because I zone out and this will get my attention. Otherwise I may be nodding my head in response but nothing will be processing.

I have one friend. Well, that's one more than some have, and I'm greatful for him.

I have a secure job with people I love and who seem to love me back. I wish they were my real family. I wish my assistant manager was my big sister

I isolate and feel detached from family and others at times. I have different modes I go into instead of just being the same person all the time. And that's what I'm investing my time in therapy for.

I feel good. I've been dealt a certain hand, and I just gotta play it like it is. Things will get better in time. Unless I die first. But then it won't matter anyway since there's no illness in Heaven as it goes.

I just wanted to share, not looking for a response of any kind. If you remember, you might remind me of this post if I'm going on about how I can't cope with it all.

It sounds like you've developed some good coping strategies. I particularly like your strategies for how you have dealt with the dissociation at work.

Thank you for sharing a bit more about what is going on for you lately. I really like hearing people's updates.

This made me smile. You are finding your strength. Good job!

I've come to realize lately that almost everything in my life is a coping strategy for some or other problem. I've come to the conclusion that there's not necessarily anything wrong with that. My support worker said it's about building a life I can cope with, so that's what I'm doing, rather than aiming for somebody else's version of success. Sounds like you're doing the same. X

This was a really positive post to read; thank you for sharing.