how do new alters make themselves apparent?

Hey so i'm relatively new to the acceptance of DID (most days, I still live some days in the space of denial that I am making it all up). And I think my alters have gained a voice over the past 2 years of therapy and have made themselves more apparent in the past 4 months or so, but I wasn't so aware of what was happening.

But now I am aware and am talking about it more, and I have this "feeling" or awareness of someone telling me she is there too. I find this troubling for some reason, kind of in the spirit of who else is there?

Is this how they present themselves, how do you know when they are a real alter or if they are an emotional extension of another (she is between the age of me and Av, my teen depressed alter) for some reason I want to believe we are all the same person just different ages of the same person ,but I am not winning that argument. There is a convs with a friend that sticks out in my mind as it relates to her behaviour and I am wondering how this fits with her and her backing out of hosting?

Any thoughts would be appreciated,
Sam

SamsLand wrote:how do you know when they are a real alter or if they are an emotional extension of another

I don't quite understand... do you mean how do you know they are an alter in their own right, or an ego state of another alter?

Sorry, not much help, my brain is just confuzzled!!

In answer to th question in the subject line though: I've always known a new alter is present because of how different they think/behave from each other. I guess I'm "lucky" that my alters are all clearly seperate ages really, apart from the teenagers but one is a girl and one is a boy so... So when Margaret, the "newest" came out and about writing in spiritual manners about spiritual things I knew that it didn't "fit" with what I already know of my inner family. PLUS she told me a differnt name straight off. Again, I think I'm "lucky" with that.

SamsLand wrote:I find this troubling for some reason, kind of in the spirit of who else is there?

It can be quite creepy. The obvious is to say: can you ask?

Bourbon

I ask that part, my ISH and other parts that I trust and then map them so I know who is there. Most with DID will have an ISH to answer these questions.

I read many times that that alters should decrease with therapy and not increase and that makes sense as long as you know of all the parts before therapy begins. I had a new alter show up about 2.5 years ago that was host, but no other new ones since I have known of the DID. She knew nothing about nothing inside and had the memories those inside shared with her of normal things. If a new alter popped up now I would have to question if it was real or not.

I think both of your ways of thinking are correct. Alters are parts of you stuck at various ages, or in those without DID or DDNOS-1 Ego states can be stuck at various ages.

I could also agree that it could be described as having a spirit around - this is co-consciousness. Anyone without DID or DDNOS-1 can also learn to talk to the parts of themselves like this but they will not have an ISH.

BTW - It's rare, from what I have read, but there are some with DID that do not have an ISH. I would have to assume however that they have parts that watch and can help you understand if you can figure out who they are and how to ask.

tylas wrote:If a new one popped up now I would have to question if it was real or not.

You would? I read from Remy that there is usually a surge at the beginning of treatment as others start to feel safe enough to come out rather than staying hidden and traumatised inside.

Bourbon

Those parts already existed! I mean a BRAND new alter. One that did not exist before.


Knowing they are there and them being there are very different things.


I completely agree with what you wrote. This is the mapping part. Finding all those that do exist.



When I get my books back from my daughter I will find some info on this. It is in a section talking about Therapists creating alters. How not do to this and how to tell the created ones from real ones. It might be in Spira's book that I still have I will look.

Complete mapping before this is essential.

tylas wrote:This is the mapping part. Finding all those that do exist.

Of course. Sorry I understand what you meant now. Thanks.

Bourbon

I am glad you asked! I have a problem with putting my complete thoughts on paper. I expect everyone to know what I am thinking until I edit it about 20 times, then I get it fixed.

SamsLand wrote:I find this troubling for some reason, kind of in the spirit of who else is there?

I try not to ask that question, lol. I just take them as they come. I can't help but wonder but at the same time, give me new stuff slowly and let me process it.

Is this how they present themselves, how do you know when they are a real alter or if they are an emotional extension of another

What works for me is I don't question it and don't push it. I am still in the process of meeting the others. I don't know how many I have total, but my current count is 27 and me. Some of them are fragments, some full alters, some littles, some blends. Maybe I shouldn't count the fragments and blends but I do.

Sometimes others fight about another other. I just take it all in. They know better than I do. And whatever an alter tells me, I take at face value until proven otherwise.

I try to accept whatever they tell me. I don't try to tell between "real alters," "just emotion" alters, and blended alts. They are what they are and they present themselves as they want to. I accept the first impression and if they want to change themselves the second time I see them, that's fine.

thank for your replies. I never gave much thought to the ISH but I do find myself talking to "something/someone" who doesn't fit the alter profile I have atm.

What does your ISH feel like to you?

I started therapy for "stuff" 2 years ago or so. And about a year into it I started the therapy became entirely focused on GID. But part of it didn't fit because sometimes I was female and was fine with it. When I was male I was not fine with it. But I didn't really feel like a male in a female body. I felt I was male and had all the parts so to speak. As long as I didn't catch myself in the mirror (which is easy because I avoid) or have sex, I truly believed I was male - unless someone referred to me as female then he went crazy. So then I don't remember how but the prospect of DID creeped in and here I am. How does your opposite ex alter feel about their body? Are they for ex male in a female body or are they just simply male?

So I think I am still finding out about who is all in there and I suspect this alter may be already there and I am just learning about her. But when you say new alters don't generally form after the start of therapy do you mean a specific type of therapy targeted specifically to DID or therapy in general.

There is someone bringing up in the past month or so a memory of a dissociation I had around 2 years old. This is also troubling me. I am trying to listen but at the moment they just want to remind me I think that it happened.

Thanks for all of your help I appreciate your discussion. I find it a bit funny I am in denial yet I am constantly saying to myself (for months just didn't put 2 and 2 together) "c'mon just tell me where you put it!" (referring to a misplaced object in need). Lol. Sometimes things can stare you in the face and you cannot see them until they are ready.

Sam

What does your ISH feel like to you?

My ISH, Sage, feels no different than the others inside. I only it is the ISH because it says it is. What is different however is that it is not male or female and is ageless. It also did not have a name, nor did it want to pick one out, but was okay with me choosing one - Sage. Sage says it watches the inside world (not the outside world), but cannot influence it. I usually ask a specific part questions and verify it with Sage since so many of my parts are young.

Question 2 - I have so many males parts. Stephan I is a past host and comes out often. He is 12 and just a happy go lucky Boy that does not care much about things like you describe. He likes to drive and do tween stuff. I have many boy parts that have the roles of system protectors as well and they do not dwell on the things you describe. They have a job to do - protect the system and that is what is on their mind. I would have to say they are simply male.

First mapping is done. Find all the alters and get them to trust the T. Those parts should be able to tell you any parts in the system that you have not had contact with.

Later, intensive therapy begins. I don't mean just going and talking to a therapist. I mean working with a good therapist that knows what they are doing. I however have not done this part yet, so I can't share it with you. My T is still working on getting the parts to trust so he can begin this work.

I would not worry about what I said about new alters forming when therapy begins. This does not happen much these days and it does not happen with a good therapist.

"There is someone bringing up in the past month or so a memory of a dissociation I had around 2 years old. This is also troubling me. I am trying to listen but at the moment they just want to remind me I think that it happened."

Exiles, traumatized parts want to tell their story. Other parts, the system protectors attempt to stop them from telling it.

Sam, don't feel bad about denial. I spent 50 years ignoring all this stuff!