My son

thanks bourbon:) that means a lot. I will not post anymore on this because I don't want to get in trouble with the moderators. This is a very sensitive subject for me, thanks everyone for the feedback.

brandonsmom777 wrote:thanks everyone for the feedback.

You are most welcome.

thanks Bourbon that really means a lot to all of you who made me feel better

It's okay... I'm only saying what I see

I worry about that stuff too.

I haven't flat out told my kids about my others (and I hear a voice in my head screaming "OUR kids") but have told them that sometimes I don't always remember things I do.

My talk went something like this-

"Sometimes I do things that I don't remember doing. Sometimes I may say things, whether they are mean, or weird, or strange, that I don't mean to say or don't know that I said. Sometimes, I may act like I'm somebody else. I went through a lot of stuff when I was little and I'm working on it, but my memory isn't very good. If I say something weird or you see me talking to myself, I don't mean to do that and please don't worry. If I ever do anything that hurts you or bothers you, tell me. I may not remember doing it and I need to know what I don't remember. Please talk to me about anything weird I do when I'm me again."

That convo seemed to make them scratch their heads and then my oldest told me about how it was weird when she was little that I talked with a British accent sometimes.

It was a hard conversation to have and I hope one day I can sit them down and tell them everything, but for now I'm not ready.

So, I have the same fears as brandonsmom but so far it seems the worst I do is "pretend to be other people and talk with accents sometimes."

When you're a mom and find out you have DID, a lot of fears go through your mind. You wonder what may have happened when you were sleeping/had a blackout. You don't always know all of your alters and it is scary to think any of them might do something to hurt or scare your kids.

My greatest comfort was finding out that no matter what goes on in my system, that Jill can take over at any second if she sees something she doesn't like. She doesn't consider the kids "her kids" but from my understanding babysits a lot and will answer to "mom" if the need comes up.

So, brandonsmom, you're not alone in your fears. I worry about that kind of thing too.

mmm its typical to worry about your son, it just means u care!.. having any kind of dissociative problem and kids is challenging... its challenging without lol. Not everyone who was abused turns around and abuses. But i can see your worries too. I think its only natural, try not too stress yourself out though. i know its hard sometimes, but i believe they say did's are not outwardly harmful. i think its good u posted on here about your concerns as a parent. many of us are parents too and i think these forums should be used for these concerns, support comes in all areas whether its helping ourselves internally or externally.

I can defientely relate to most of the parents on here and their experiences. It IS terrifying enough being a parent, but a parent with a dissociative disorder is much harder-not to demean the experience of "normal" parents without DD. I feel like I've missed out on so much of my sons life, I feel like I miss him when he's sitting right next to me and I never understood that feeling but it's heartbreaking. I am always afraid of how I'm acting in front of him and always question my behavior and wonder if it's weird but it's gotten a little better now that I'm working on my self esteem with my therapist and realizing that I am a good mom that's struggling very much and that it's NOT my fault. I blamed myself for so long and was terrified my son would grow to hate me because of the way I am. But, I will never stop trying and I'll never give up on being the best mother I can be.

Ashley

i can relate i have 3 kids. one thing i always found that helped.. (works better with older children then younger) is i have a spot in the basement where is a place for me, listen to music etc. and when i feel like im switching or lots are going on in my mind, i just tell them il be downstairs gonna go take sometime for me. then i can let it run its course and gather myself together and go back afterwards. sometimes just giving myself those times throughout the day to figure out where everyone inside is at.. helps alot. i also keep a day journal so if they have any important things they need to let everyone know they can write it there. Im a single mom so i can really relate how hard it is, but i find the better i can work with all inside the better things run on the outside. i know for me, though i still lose time im fairly co-conscious. most of the alters who come out often act/ and talk similar to myself. so people cant really tell. i try hard to not talk in third party though i slip often lol. and they will respond to the name given to this body but many despise it. So we function for the most part, my children do not know i have did. i know my oldest 13 now, she sees the inconsistencies and questions my memory alot. im surprised at how well we can function, i havent been diagnosed with did for too long now. i have manage to keep this well hidden for a long time ..even from myself. So as im still learning all this for me i dont really tell other people about it in fear im labeled as crazy lol.

Illuminate.obscurity, I can relate. While I'm only new to finding out about DID, my oldest is 12. She has issues with me about my memory.

I may borrow your idea about the day planner. That would certainly help things!

I have my bedroom that is like your basement room. My door is usually open and the kids are free to come and go as they like (the computer and a lot of books and art supplies are stored in my room). When I shut my door, they know mommy needs a few minutes to herself and usually respect that. It is good because I get a chance to journal or do whatever I need to do to reground myself (I experience a lot of derealization) so I can go back to being a mom.

They sometimes get mad when I go to my room for a while (it is usually never more than 20 minutes or so) but I explained it to them as "sometimes you need to be by yourself. You go off and read a book, listen to music, go for a walk. I'm a person too and sometimes I need a little time to clear my head too. If you get hurt while I'm in my room, come tell me. Otherwise, entertain yourself for a few minutes and let me do my thing. I don't bother you when you are painting, reading, or talking on the phone to your friends. I'm just asking you show me the same respect."

That needs to be repeated every now and again, especially to my youngest who is ADHD, but it works well for all of us.

Once a week we have a family meeting. That really helps all of us. The kids get to say whatever is bothering them. My daughter was embarrased one day when we went shopping. "Mom, you were standing in front of the icecream licking your lips like you were 3. What if one of my friends had seen?"

I never know the right thing to say in response to those things but I told her I don't remember doing it and when she sees me doing things like that in public, just to get my attention. Pull on my arm, say "mom, stop it." That I sometimes do things that I don't know I'm doing and in moments like that, its okay to stop me. I blame it on complex partial epelespy. I feel bad lying to them, but it works as an excuse for now.