My son

I was sitting with my son on the couch and he had his feet propped up on my lap and I noticed like a scab type thing on the bottom of his foot almost looks like a blister that's healing. I asked him how long he's had it and he said a long time. Apparently my mother knows it's there and I guess she told him that she has the same thing on her foot but she never said a word to me about it. I don't know if I'm being paranoid but I'm always so afraid of something happening to him. I think maybe God will punish me by taking my son away from me so of course I start thinking maybe it's foot cancer or skin cancer on his foot or something of that nature. I of course don't voice these concerns to him but now I can't ask anyone else about it til tommorow and I just wanted someone to maybe calm me down about it lol I started dissociating about it and millions of thoughts or whatever they are were going on in my head telling different things all at once as to what it could be what it could mean etc. Another thing is when I was cooking dinner he came to me and said that the "underwear ghost" took his underwear while he was asleep. He was pretty sick last night with diarrhea and throwing up but I guess he went to the bathroom in his pants during the night and tried to hide his underwear from me and thought he could blame it on a ghost lol such a cutie...anyway, my first thought was that I was unknowingly abusing him in his sleep and I dissociated BADLY. I started thinking of how I'd have to leave him, I couldn't think straight and I told him he better tell me the truth about what happened to his underwear last night and why they were off ( he put them in the laundry) and didn't want me to get upset that he had an accident. I feel so foolish about his stuff. Anyway, that was my night and I know I ramble so thanks for listening if u got this far.

I got that far. My heart really cried out for you. It sounds like you really and truly love your son! I know it's frightening but please do try and remain calm about the scab thing. For your son's sake. It's understandable that you might be paranoid about certain things, but when you feel that, maybe separate yourself from him and write it all down like you did here. Get the strength out, and then approach the situation calmly. I only say all this because my mother was very paranoid, and still is...to the point that my T actually has said it sounds like she has a paranoid disorder.

I can also understand your fear about the "underwear ghost" incident. The fact that you feared that it might be you proves how much you want to protect him, even if it meant having to protect him from yourself(well, other, but you know what I mean). Aside from something as dangerous as that though, everyone needs to protect their children from their own emotions/feelings. When parents are frightened, kids will be too. Keep posting here in times like these, we'll listen. Getting the emotion out in this way will help you when you need to regulate your emotions around your son.

Major Hugs!

How old is he? My first thought is what if the "underwear ghost" is a dissociated identity in him? Has he been evaluated for dissociation? Please don't panic! Dissociative disorders in children are very easy to treat, once detected. The ISSTD has published guidelines for children: see the links below.

ISSTD: Guidelines for the Evaluation and Treatment of Dissociative Symptoms in Children and Adolescents
ISSTD: Guidelines for the Evaluation and Treatment of Dissociative Symptoms in Children and Adolescents (PDF)

una, I'm not offended by your suggestion and you're right to assume something like that. My son has been through quite a lot for his 7 little years of life But, I've taken him to his PCP for an evaluation because he was having accidents in his pants for a few months. I thought for sure he had been traumatized by my "husband" leaving and the problems I was having at the time but as it turned out he had been constipated for about 3 months but his stomach never hurt so I had no idea!!! he was going to the bathroom in his underwear because he was so backed up that it was leaking around the bowel movement he wasn't having (sorry, I know it's kind of gross) Well, a few months of Miralax laxative has since cured him pretty much and he hasn't had any accidents BUT he has the flu right now so he did have another accident during the middle of the night. He didn't want to upset me so he told me that the "underwear ghost" hid his underwear but when I repeatedly asked him what happened to his underwear he finally admitted he had an accident and hid his underwear bc he didn't want me to know. I've thought long and hard about getting him in to see a therapist, I'm very concerned about his well being and state of mind from what all this has done to him but I don't know. I think he'll be ok he has so much love and support not just from me but from many many people in my family that love him and can guide him. I just worry a lot about him but that's what mom's do right?

I have children, so I know about encopresis (paradoxical diarrhea) from chronic constipation. That's not what concerns me in your post, though. What concerns me is his voluntarily attributing agency to a "ghost" and then telling you another story only after you pushed really hard for another story. This makes me worry that your son may have DID too. As a mother recently diagnosed with DID, this has been a big worry for me.

Being perceived as volunteering lies is a common pattern in children who have DID. Many of us have a childhood history of being accused of lying, when as far as we knew we were telling the truth. That is an important clue that we were losing time.

If your son had not told you he woke up to discover himself not wearing underpants, would you have noticed they were missing? Does he dress himself? In my experience a child who dresses himself would be more likely to keep silent about the underpants until and unless you find out about them.

I understand what Una is getting at but at the same time, it does come off as him being embarased about the mess.

imo:

Just because brandonsmom has DDNOS (or whatever) does not necessarily mean brandon does or that he is even more maladjusted than any kid going through a split-up. There is nothing in her story that suggests to me anything other than the most plausible explanation (that of brandon's embarrassed concealment and his mom's rightful questioning revealing the truth and her love). I think brandonsmom is trying so hard to get answers she may be over-worrying about routine things and that suggesting DID with so little evidence is premature to say the least. Not all abused people go on to abuse.

Not trying to be abrupt, but just worried that brandonsmom has quite enough on her plate right now.

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else on this. My son has a nintendo DS that he got for his birthday and he's forbiden to take it to school. One morning he tried sneaking it in his backback and once I noticed it missing he told me the "DS ghost took it" so I believe that he his active imagination is coming up with these excuses however futile they may be I did not interrogate my son about his underwear, I told him that if he were embaressed about having an accident that I he did not need to lie to me because that's worse than anything he could ever do. I told him that I would not be angry with him but would be more angry if if lied and then he told me the truth. I do not think my son has DID, I'm not even sure I have it and from what I hear it's somewhat "rare" but not too sure how true this statement is either. I know it's common once something is on your mind to begin seeing it everywhere you go but this is my life and my son we're talking about and like everyone else said I have enough on my plate and don't need the excess worry that I'm molesting my son during the night without knowing it. This already is a worry for me as I don't know what I'm doing when I'm asleep and that post was very triggering for me. I too know what encopresis is and when the doctor diagnosed him with this I was so concerned about his mental health I asked her if something could be going on (sexual abuse) that I didn't know of and she assured me that there would be other signs and Brandon seemed to be a very happy little boy that was constipated and needed some miralax. It worked wonders and he hadn't had an accident in over 4 months except just recently when he had/has the flu.

Brandon is lucky to have a mum like you.

Bourbon

Anyone reading this thread (now or in future) who has concerns about a child age 5-12 may like to know about the Child Dissociative Checklist by Dr. Frank Putnam et al. (1990). A clinical screening instrument, the CDC assesses dissociation on the basis of ratings given by caregivers or adults in close contact with the child. It is a 20-item observer-report checklist with a 3-point scale (0=not true, 1=sometimes true, 2=frequently true). The final score is the sum of all of the item scores and can range from 0 to 40; a score of 12 or higher is evidence of pathological dissociation and warrants further evaluation.

The CDC assesses perceived dissociation; for an assessment of experienced dissociation, suitable for older children, there is the Adolescent Dissociative Experiences Scale.

PDF: Child Dissociative Checklist, Version 3