I've NEVER had to deal with this before

So I know one of the symptoms of DID is depression, but I never really experienced that. I had the normal depression sometimes that lasted a few minutes, but I didn't take that into account, because everyone gets that. I was never the crying sort, going years without a single tear. People called me unemotional, even people close to me, and I was secretly proud of how controlled I could be of my feelings.

Lately, though, I've been everywhere at once with my emotions, especially sadness, and have been crying every single day for the past week or so, mainly for no reason. I've been trying to attribute this newfound depression to anything I can: feeling ugly, inadequacy, pressures at school, the urge to be normal, anything, but I don't know exactly what this is about. I'm at school right now. On the busride here, I felt so unmotivated that I almost didn't have the energy to get off the bus. I feel sorry for my friends. They have to deal with me and my sluggish self. Last night, even my boyfriend told me on the phone that he was tired of me dumping all my random emotions on him, and he knows about the DID. I don't blame him--he was happy last night, and it was my fault, my sadness, my anger that killed the conversation. If I could've only pretended to be happy...

I'm just always so tired, even after sleeping for ten hours. I used to be sad in between bouts of happiness, but now I'm happy between the sad. I don't know what's going on. I just wish I didn't have all this random sadness and random dissociation. I wish I could get a therapist and be open about this depression and DID to someone who'll understand...

Why cant you get a therapist..?

If you have Depression problems, it needs to be looked at, as all motivation for anything will stop... Don't wait for others to help you. They may not understand..

Maybe its time to find people that will except you for who you are not expect you to be happy so they can feel comfortable.

Keep going. Keep asking seeking Knocking...

Also pray. Ask the God of the Universe for help.....

I'm sorry you are struggling with these feelings at the moment... Maybe one of your others is influencing how you are feeling and it is underlying sadness from something they have experienced?

Whatever it is, it sucks to be depressed. It is a hard place to be. Perhaps trying to write all of your feelings out will be revealing to you so you can see the cause of them? A journal can be handy to release your feelings into writing as well as to learn more about where the feelings may be coming from...

I hope you start to feel better soon. Is there some reason why you can't get a therapist at the moment? It would be a big help...

I can't get a therapist because I can't tell my parents about the DID. I've tried to before, and they told me, "Stop watching TV and reading books, and maybe you won't be so dramatic." I wonder if I can just tell them about the depression, but they'll say it's because of hormones and that I don't need a therapist, since "it's just a phase".

Yeah just tell them it's depression and make it sound serious and like you've had it a while and think you are headed in a downward spiral. Tell them it's affecting your schoolwork and you want help to get it back on track. I reckon they'll like the sound of helping you if you sound like you want to do better with schoolwork. That might convince them to get you a therapist...

I wouldn't tell them about the DID though...