Just applied for therapy.

I just applied for therapy last night - filled out some forms and handed them in. Now I'm waiting for a phone call, and I'm incredibly anxious. I've only been to therapy once and it wasn't by choice - this time I'm choosing to go, and somehow it is even scarier.

I don't really know what to do or say or what to even focus on. On the form they asked the sort of things I would want to focus on in the sessions and I put point after point, and didn't even put my dissociation - I don't know if I can even begin to deal with that, expecially since I'm young and cant afford any sort of DID specialist.

I just don't know how any of this is going to work, and I'm scared that I wont be able to trust the T at all...

I'm really worried about confidentiality as well. I mean, I know they aren't supposed to tell anyone about anything you say, but I don't know if they can tell my dad anything because I'm underage. That, and I don't want to be reported because of abuse in my home - I don't want to open up to a stranger if it is going to end in being reported and having my dad find out!

I'm really scared, and starting to think that therapy might not be such a good idea after all.

These are important questions. The person to ask is the therapist.

A specialist in one area of therapy generally does not cost any more than any other therapist; they just have a specialty. They have a specialty because they have a reputation among other therapists as being good at treating a certain type of problem, and clients with that problem are referred to them.

Really? That's good to hear... This place I just applied charges on a sliding scale, though, and unless I'm lucky I don't know if I can find a specialist of any sort that charges low - at least not for something as uncommon as DID.

Unless I'm lucky. -crosses fingers-

Don't look at it like you're committing to therapy by filling in the forms and meeting with the person. That can seem overwhelming. See it as you're just testing the waters and all the questions you asked there are perfect things to ask the therapist when she rings or arranges a face to face appointment with you. I hope you get the call soon though because I know how anxiety producing it can be just waiting.

Bourbon

Try to take the first appointment like you are interviewing them. I mean after all it's your decision, and you need someone who fits right for you, not to mention you are paying them. The first appointment is kind of the only one where you get to ask them about THEM, cuz later they're gonna ask you to talk about yourself!

I was scared to let my Dad know I was going to therapy at first too, but he's very supportive. It might be different for you though...in my situation my Dad isn't the one who raised me, and he's not responsible for any abusive behavior I might have endured growing up.

I just got the call today. My first appointment is Friday the 18th.

I feel so anxious... I feel like I'm going to be looked down upon, even though I know, logically, that should never happen...

senselesssacrifice wrote:I just got the call today. My first appointment is Friday the 18th.

I feel so anxious... I feel like I'm going to be looked down upon, even though I know, logically, that should never happen...

That date brings shivers up my spine. That's when I'm going to the dentist!! Sorry, complete aside.


Your logical thinking there is important. Your emotions may take you over and make you worry about being judged and everything, but as long as you can keep in mind what your logic is saying. You have nothing to be ashamed of so go in there with your head held high.

Bourbon

-- Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:17 am --

senselesssacrifice wrote:I just got the call today. My first appointment is Friday the 18th.

I feel so anxious... I feel like I'm going to be looked down upon, even though I know, logically, that should never happen...

That date brings shivers up my spine. That's when I'm going to the dentist!! Sorry, complete aside.


Your logical thinking there is important. Your emotions may take you over and make you worry about being judged and everything, but as long as you can keep in mind what your logic is saying. You have nothing to be ashamed of so go in there with your head held high.

Bourbon

That's great! I know you are nervous, but if your T is a good T, you will start counting the days till you get to go! But lol if you're anything like me you'll still get nervous haha...but I kinda think that's cuz I have a fear of having to talk to anyone in an office...the play therapy room isn't so bad though

Thanks for all the replies and support guys!

And yeah, I'm not quite sure about what the rooms look like or anything. I only know the name of the woman I'm going to be working with - that's all.

I suppose if it doesn't suit me or makes me too nervous or whatnot I can always stop going and find somewhere else. I just don't /want/ to do that. I want to get help as quickly as possible.

Ah! I'm so nervous. This feeling isn't going away...

senselesssacrifice wrote: suppose if it doesn't suit me or makes me too nervous or whatnot I can always stop going and find somewhere else. I just don't /want/ to do that. I want to get help as quickly as possible.

Ah! I'm so nervous. This feeling isn't going away...

Take a deep breath. Relax! Everything will be fine. After my first real T terminated me, I got another T, and waited a month before terminating and finding someone else because I kinda felt like looking for another T would waste time and I wouldn't get help quickly enough. How many Ts in your area did you speak to before turning in paperwork for this one? You can always call them and ask them questions, and then kinda get a feel for them and decide if you want to actually make an appointment. If you don't get a good gut feeling after the 18th, make another appointment.

In the meantime, there's no harm with calling around and seeing if you can find a T who can see you this week. When I was going to therapy at University, on a particularly stressful day, my T recommended that I just make a random appointment with someone in my area to talk things out further. She emphasized that it doesn't mean you are committing to a long term relationship just by going for a one time visit and talking things out, if you really need it and if you haven't established a T relationship elsewhere.